⇢ CHAPTER 43

me for doing your laundry." April groaned, leaning down to pick up the basket of clothes in the corner of Holly's room.

Holly scoffed, walking over to pry the basket out of her hands, "Fine, I'll do it myself."

April chuckled, following Holly down the stairs as she spoke, "You don't even know where the laundry machines are."

"Yes, I do." Holly countered, walking up to the room as she quirked an eyebrow at April before turning her head around to start doing laundry-- only to see Lexie on the machine with Jackson kissing her, "I--"

"What do you-- Ugh, come on!" April groaned as she walked inside before looking at Holly, who dropped the basket and walked away. April frowned at the two, "Is there anywhere you don't do it?" Jackson and Lexie, who stopped upon hearing the basket fall, sighed, "No?" April rolled her eyes and walked away, "Ugh." April entered the kitchen and saw Holly eating grapes and staring at a dot on the floor, "I am so sorry--"

Holly shook her head, plopping another grape in her mouth, "I'm not fazed." She assured before she heard Lexie giggling in the room and ate more grapes, shaking her head as she walked away, "I'm not fazed."

"Yeah," April watched Holly walk away and muttered, "you're fazed."

✧

Knowing Meredith and her own schedule for the clinical trial by heart, Holly still walked up to Derek in the conference room, hoping to get on his service to distract herself even if it was with paperwork.

Derek, who was trying to find a way to put Adele Webber into his clinical trial, was surprised when he saw Holly enter the room after kissing his wife so she could go and start her day.

"I, uh, heard you were going to go through all the applicants and find a way to put the Chief's wife in the trial." Holly answered, standing by the door, "I know it's not my day, but I'd really like to help and get my mind off of... stuff."

Meredith looked between the two before joining Holly at the door and nodded at Derek, "I, um, can take care of the patients for today." She smiled at Holly, noticing the stressful look on Holly's face, "It'll be an easy day for me since we're just prepping them."

Derek quirked an eyebrow before nodding at Holly, "Alright, Kepner, you can stay."

"Thank you." Holly smiled, looking at the two and nodded before sitting down and looked at the papers.

✧

"So," Derek started as he grabbed another file, "do you want to talk about it?"

Holly frowned her eyebrows, looking up at Derek, "Talk about what?"

"'Stuff'." Derek quoted as the two turned their heads to check who walked in the door.

"Oh," Jackson cleared his throat, having thought Chief Webber was working on his clinical trial in the conference room, "sorry, I thought the Chief was here."

"He's probably in his office." Derek answered with a nod, noticing Holly's eyes glued to the page-- and the fact that she wasn't reading the file since her eyes weren't moving.

"Thanks." Jackson nodded, walking away to find the Chief and closed the door.

"...So?"

"I really don't think you want to unpack Pandora's box." Holly warned, looking up from the files briefly before she read them again.

"...If you need to vent—"

"Jackson and I had sex before the shooting." Holly began, placing the papers on the table with a small slam as she ignored the look on Derek's face.

"What--?"

"And then we started getting closer-- relying on each other, especially after the shooting, and suddenly I'm catching feelings." Holly chuckled in disbelief as she looked up from the pages to glance at Derek, "Feelings-- hard feelings. It's like I'm drowning in them and I can't because of all these emotions surrounding me and I haven't felt these emotions in a long while. Feelings--"

"Holly, breathe." Derek reminded, surprised that all of what she was saying was in a single breath.

"Feelings I grew oblivious to until a patient gave me advice-- advice that made me want to go up to him and grab him by the face to k--"

"Holly," Derek reminded once more, "breathe."

Holly sighed, pausing a moment to take a breath, "And then I go home and find him with Lexie-- cover your ears because this is your sister-in-law-- together in the shower. Naked." She cleared her throat, seeing Derek's face cringing, "So yeah, I kind of lost my opportunity to reveal my feelings and now my best friend and him are a thing." She leaned back in her chair, grabbing the files she previously slammed on the table, "So I needed distractions because I can't deal with that right now."

Giving her a soft sympathetic look, Derek felt horrible that Holly had to deal with that before clearing his throat awkwardly with a quirk of his eyebrow, "Uh, so you and Avery had sex--?"

"Really?" Holly chuckled, "That's what you're taking away from all this?"

✧

Sitting next to April, Holly continued to draw a bone with a bow on the onesie-- the top in cursive saying 'I love my mommies and daddy!' as the conversation turned to April's relationship with Stark.

"I say he's totally gay." Lexie commented, drawing her own thing on the onesie.

"Well," Meredith countered as Alex sat next to Holly, "if he were gay, then why would he ask April out?"

"No straight guy waits a whole month before making a move." Lexie shook her head at her sister.

Noticing April's uncomfortable mood, Holly spoke up, "Maybe he's a nice guy." Holly shrugged, "Maybe he was just waiting for the right moment for her to be ready and instead of waiting too long or doing nothing at all, Stark grew the confidence to ask April out and April said yes as friends-- a-and maybe he respects her as a friend." Holly nodded, finishing her drawing in time to look up and see all of their gazes on her. She grabbed a cookie that Alex had stolen from the food section and stuffed her mouth as she got up, "I'm watching sad rom-coms, ignore me."

Cristina looked at the group, "Maybe he has herpes."

Walking away from them, Holly saw Mark looking at Lexie and decided to join him. She dangled her onesie in front of him and he smiled, about to say something until they both turned once they heard April yell out, "I am not taking my pants off for Stark!"