Chapter 4
l laid on my bed the next day thinking about what Jack said, There was no way that I was going to elope with him even if I wanted too, I could feel tears surrounding my eyes... I felt dead, I couldn't do what I wanted to, I wanted to elope with jack, To get married to him, To start a family with him.... But I guess that was never going to happen was it? I had to do what I thought was right, I had to keep up with this "act"of being the princess, I guess I would never have a happy ever after, l guess I would never get to be with jack, the one I loved .... Some life huh?......
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Throughout today I couldn't focus, my mind was constantly flying to jack , I wondered what he must be thinking now, l had also avoided the king in every possible way I can, which was nearly impossible because I didn't want him to ask me what my decision was in marrying the prince and I knew that even if I said no to the marriage, the king would find a way to let
it happen ... I guess that my opinion doesn't even matters huh? , Life sucks and I hated my life and my stupid fate....
I laid on my bed still thinking about the whole thing, I possibly can't continue running away from the king forever, A time was going to come that I would be trapped and would not be able to escape the king and I would have to get married to prince James against my will and that would be the end of my pathetic so called life .....
I laid on the bed still thinking when suddenly there was a knock on the door, I didn't know who it could be and I wasn't expecting anybody, I didn't wanted to get the door cause I was fend up with everything, with life and my ill fate when the door was suddenly opened, I was scared and I didn't know what to do, I quickly wiped my tears and stood up to see who it was....I stood up to behold the figure, it was no other person than jack....I was surprised and I quickly brought him inside and shutting the door for no one to see us together...Why was he here , Did he wanted us to get killed by the king....
"Jack what the heck are you doing here" I said with my voice a mixture of anger and confusion, He didn't reply me and began coming close to me, Was he drunk or something...
"Jack what are you doing " I said moving back , he still didn't reply and I was scared...I kept moving backwards and he kept on coming forward...
"Jack?..I said trying to move back again but I was already at the wall and there was no where to go...He kept coming close making us inches apart, all I could do was to stare into his sharp green eyes... Slowly he wrapped his hands around my waist and there was no where to go, I could feel my heart beating what did he wanted to do , was he going to kiss me?
My heart kept on beating, I know I know, it is a bit dramatic but that was how I was feeling, I had jack had kissed before, many times actually but Everytime we were about to, I had always felt my heart beating....
His arms were around my waist and I couldn't process anything
"Ja....ja.... jack what are you doing? I said beating hardly
"Shhhh he said putting his finger on my lips, he cupped my face and removed the inch that was left between us kissing me, all I did was closing my eyes and when the kiss got Intense , I held his shirt....it was like heaven and I was enjoying ever part of it when suddenly I realized that I shouldn't be kissing him, what was I doing, i said recovering myself , pushing him away...
"What are you doing jack" I said angrily, I was angry with him and also with myself , how would I have let myself go like that, I was never going to be with him so it best I stop all this
"Do you want this, don't you like it when I come close to you, when I kiss you...he said and I kept quiet because even if I tried to deny it , the truth was that it was true...
"Yesterday you ran away from me why? Do you what to run away with me ...he said staring at me ...
"I don't " I said without looking at him on the eye because I didn't have the courage to
"Well that's fine cause I came to tell you that if you don't want to elope it is fine...
"Really, Are you serious? l asked with my eyes widening
"Yes I am , if you don't want to elope with me ,you don't have to.....Lay with me and get pregnant so that no one would be able to separate us not even the king because you would be pregnant..He said looking at me with pitiful eyes and I just couldn't believe this, how could he want me to do that
"Are you okay at all, What are you saying...You have to go, you are not in your right senses, tomorrow we would talk, okay? I said looking at him
"You are right am not in my right senses because I love you Alexa , don't you understand? and I know you love me too , I can't let you ruin your life because of fear or anything and I can't watch you marry the prince or anyone else...he said looking straight in my eyes
I wished I could tell him that I loved him too that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him but I had to do this because I didn't wanted Stephanie's child to suffer and pass through the same pain I did , I was making this sacrifice of not being with him for the sake of Stephanie's child....
"I can't be with you Jack am sorry.." I said and I could feel tears slowly gathering in my eyes
"Why can't you, I love you don't you get it ...he said yelling with tears and anger in his eyes, holding me
"l can't be with you because of her child..."I said yelling back, I would feel tension rising in the room and I didn't care
"Who's child, Oh is it that scum Stephanie's...
He said angrily with disgust ...
I had never seen this side of jack before, he was so angry and I was feeling afraid of what was going to happen...
"Ja...ja... jack, you are not in your right senses , you have to calm down and leave some one might wake up I said with my voice shaking out of fear
"Answer me us it because of Stephanie child who cares about her child..
"I do , I don't want the child to go through the same pain that I went through...i said with tears falling down
"Really, you are not as good as you think you are, she is not some kind of goddess that you have to worship and pity her , All you are is a "MAID"and nothing more, Nobody is going to treat you well even if you do them a million favours, so behave like one ...he said angrily without even thinking about what he just said...
I looked at him as tears fell freely from my face ,how could he say that to me, he was breaking my heart, Slowly he realized what he said and he looked at me as if he was going to tell me he was sorry..
"I think you should leave... I said holding his hand and walking towards the door when he yacked it off from me and staggering back wards...He jumped into the bed and was smiling for no reason, He was obviously drunk but when you are drunk you tends to say your real mind and feeling, so was that what he really thought about me...
"Am not leaving, it am done talking... You know what I think that all all what you are saying about not wanting to be with me because of the child was a lie , A big fat lie , I think that the real reason you don't want to elope with me is that you actually want to marry that prince, you actually want to be a queen, you actually like living thus fancy life, wearing fancy outfit, eating fancy foods... I think that all what you want and you are just making up this excuse so that you can look innocent right? he said looking at me with deadly eyes, I was terrified, this was not my jack talking to me, this was a monster speaking, But I think he was saying his mind and I guess this was how well he knew me....How could he think that I would possibly want all this, I knew I had always dreamt of living like a princess but not like this, this was torture.....Jack was hurting me so much ,how could he think that I could choose all this luxuries over him don't he know that I love him so much , l felt broken, the person that I loved didn't even know me...
"Jack you are hurting me, what you're saying is not true, I swear... I said trying to prove my innocence, but he didn't listen
"You know what I don't think you love me and I HATE you do breaking my heart,and there is no need to shed fake tears... I HATE you so much do you hear me he said
I think I would stop troubling you now , besides the "Future queen" needs to get her beauty sleep now cause you are getting married so you have to look good, he said and I could see pain in his eyes...
"So if I were you, I would wipe this tears and get some rest...he said feeling irritated and with that he left....
I broke down crying... How could he have done that to me , oh God, how could he, is that how he really knew me, I don't think he ever did love me but why couldn't I see hatred in his eyes when he told me he hated me, Tears were pouring down and my head was spinning... I hate him , I HATE you Jack for this , but with every time I said I hated him I didn't really mean it ,my heart would always love him, But i would never forgive him for hurting me....
Fine, he thinks that I don't want to elope with him because I want to remain princess Stephanie and be queen then fine, that what I would do, I was not thinking straight and I didn't care...But I would not make a innocent child fatherless...
From now on ALEXA is DEAD, There was only going to be Princess Stephanie now no more Alexa....I laid on my bed wiping my tears away, knowing what I needed to do....