Store

Sitting outside of Hugh’s Grocery I try my hardest to reign in my emotions. I decided last night that Wayne has every right to know about our situation. Even if he turns me away or doesn’t believe me. At least I can say I tried.

Now though I would have to speak to Mimi about getting his contact information. This situation made me feel more nervous than thinking of telling Wayne. I didn’t know how I would be able to get what I needed from her without saying to much.

I took in a deep breath before exiting my car. Mimi and I have greeted one another since I’ve been home. It was nothing more than a friendly hello. She didn’t seem to hold any ill will toward me. Which I was glad for.

Entering the grocery store I said my hello’s to the Bumble locals. I grabbed a shopping cart and headed down the aisle. The store was small but neat like it always is. Each aisle organized and clean. I took the few things we needed at the house off the shelves. I procrastinated for as long as I could going down each aisle even when I knew I needed nothing down it. I slowly made my way to the front of the store.

When I seen Mimi at the register. I took another deep breath and headed to Mimi’s check out lane. When she had noticed me, a bright smile came to her face. I returned it. It was crazy to think this woman would be my child’s grandma.

“Hey, baby how ya doing’?” She asked when it was my turn to check out.

”I’m doing. How are you Mimi?”

She gave me a soft smile while scanning my items.

“I’m good darlin’.” I wait a moment to get up the courage to ask her about Wayne. The only reason I know he’s even okay is because she gives Luke updates.

”How is Wayne?” I blurt out. She looks up at me sadly.

”I’m missin’ that boy too damn much.” She said sadly.

”Yeah, I know the feeling.” I say without thinking. Mimi’s head snapped up. She stared at me with a small smile on her face. Well this is a good time as any.

“Is there anyway that I could speak with him?” Mimi’s face fell a bit. She looked around at the busy store before she looked back at me.

”I’mma be goin’ on break real soon. Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll meet ya at the picnic table at the back of the store.”

”Okay.” I say, nodding. Praying she’ll allow me to speak with Wayne. Without too much of an explanation.

After putting my groceries in the car. I waited out by the back of the grocery store. I pace back and forth trying to come up with a reason other than being pregnant to speak with Wayne.

Not too long after the fifteen minute mark Mimi came out of the back of the grocery store. She had a pack of cigarettes in her hand. She pulled one out and lit it without saying anything.

”I didn’t know you smoked.” I say.

”I wouldn’t dare when Wayne’s round. He thinks I quit years ago. He’s a lil stuck up bout it.”

I nod holding my breathe. Trying hard to contain my nausea. Mimi sat at the picnic table. I followed suit, sitting next to her.

“Wayne ain’t in a place to be chit chattin’ baby. I wish I could give ya what ya want but I can’t.”

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.

”When will he be home?” I asked her. Mimi looked at me sadly. She placed her hand on mine, squeezing it tenderly.

”Bailey, I always liked ya. I loved the idea of ya and my boy. I’m sorry for what he done did ta ya with that woman… But Wayne told me bout what he said ta ya at the wedding.” My heart fell from my chest, sinking like an anchor. Sadness filled me, I didn’t like that he still held so much power over my emotions. Did he tell her everything? I didn’t ask any questions. I just let her continue.

”I think baby that it’s time that ya moved on… That’s my best advice.”

I don’t know why this made me so emotional but it did. My eyes brimmed with tears. I cried on Mimi’s shoulder for a few minutes. She allowed it, something my mother never would. She embraced me with such motherly love. It gave me so much comfort.

”’Ur a real good girl baby. My boy he’s just a little broken. Please do what ya gotta do but Wayne may come around.”

I shake my head as I wipe my tears. I stand from the picnic table.

”I’m sorry Mimi. I really am. I should go.”

“Wait.” She said as I turned from her. Mimi stood up a little slowly. She looked so drained. Her bodacious body moving at it’s own pace. I wait for her to continue.

”Wayne’s damn dog Grits is driving me nuts. I was going to ask you after church tomorrow but I was wondering if ya could keep an eye out for him. His gotta go back to Wayne’s. The damned dog is destroying my house. I think he’s anxious and would do betta in ‘ur neck of the woods.”

”You want me to dog sit ‘ur sons dog while he’s gone?” I ask slightly confused. She probably hasn’t told Wayne about this. She stood there thinking for a few moments before saying.

”Yes. Also I know ya are Blake’s teacher. If ya got any problems this year just let me and his daddy know. He can be wild.”

I smile at her. No matter what was going on in life. I would always have teaching.

”Would Wayne be okay with that? I’m excited to have Blake this year and will call if we have any issues. He’s always been pretty good for me.”

”He is overseas. I ain’t tellin’ him nothin’ that will distract him. He cannot do distractions right now.”

I smile nodding, agreeing with her.

“I will keep an eye out for Grits. It’s no problem.”

she smiled with a squeal.

“Thank you baby!” She said hugging me.

”It’s not a problem.”

”’Ur just better than ice cream on a hot Bama day.” She said then kissed my cheek.

“Member what I said bout Blake though. I’m serious he might be good the first few weeks but that damn kid always gets bored.”

”I’ll keep him busy.”

”Bless ‘ur heart but I gotta go my break is up.”

”It was nice to see you Mimi.” She smiled warmly at me.

”Ya too baby. Now listen real quick. I want ya to know that my boy loves ya. Maybe too much. He said it all the time. He ain’t ever wanna feel it like he does with ya again. Ya gotta know it’s hard for Wayne to show emotion. It’s just him. Not before war but that is who he is now. Be patient but I know ya been seein’ Trey. Do what ya gotta do baby.”

I nod, hugging her before leaving. Mimi went back into the back door. I had a mixture of feelings and I don’t know why I didn’t tell her I wasn’t actually seeing Trey. I was just so emotionally messed up that I couldn’t confront it.

On my way home I was an emotional mess. I drove past my road. I couldn’t go home dry heaving tears. My heart hurt so bad by Mimi’s words. It was a gut wrenching feeling. I want to blame it on the hormones but I knew it was so much more than that.

I thought I was over Wayne when I came back from California. I was wrong, so wrong. I loved him and knew I always would. But why, does it have to hurt this much. He cheated on me! I should be angry or feel nothing at all toward him. Something other than hurt and heartbroken.

When I was like this in Cali the anger came after a month or so. It was easy to hate him. I had a big reason to. Even though you aren’t suppose to hate. That’s how I had felt about him. Then I got my stuff from his house delivered to me that smelt like him. I knew then, I just ignored it. I ignored the fact that I wasn’t over him.

Ugh! I don’t think I truly ever will be.