before and after the storm 2

another reason was, watching my dad being rushed to the hospital again made me realize that every time I was happy something bad will always come up so I should put them first and this time there was no turning back.

I received a response to my text from Manuel and he was upset and I did understand. he complained about him Calling me over and over again but I never responded and that he was really upset about me not picking up, that week I said I will be seeing him and at least I should have told him I couldn't make it. he told me not to call him or don't text him again because he sacrificed a lot to be around for me last week.

although I was sorry, I was also glad at least things have ended and it seemed I hurt him by not meeting him or picking up his call at least there was a reason and he wasn't going to bother me again about giving him a reason why I want to end things. this was for the best cause he deserved better.

just when I thought that was it, he texted again telling me

"do you know how worried I was, you told me you were coming and all of a sudden you turned mute on me, I thought something had happened. I called over and over again but you didn't answer neither replied to my calls. I thought because of me something had happened to you. I waited for you but you never came neither did you call. do you know how anxious I have been and all you could say the moment I heard from you was that we should break up. how could you be so cruel"

cruel? that was the word. of course I was, how could I have thought such thing as dating was for me. I was quite and didn't respond because I was guilty I lifted him up just to throw him under the bus and I was ready to take all his anger in silence.

he texted me again about why I wasn't saying anything and I replied it was useless since we have ended things already and that he said I shouldn't text him again so I was granting his wish. but then he sent a text again about Why didn't i pick up, When he kept calling. and I told him I didn't have any reason for him and that he should let me be after all we will never meet me again.

call me harsh or cruel but I wasn't the right person for him.

let him be the one to decide? even if he wanted me the way I was I still wasn't ready.

he sent me a text saying that he was sorry for busting out but I should give us a chance and we can make this work but I told him if he doesn't want to get hurt more then it's better for us to break it off now cause I can't give him what he wants.

he didn't respond and I guess it was really good bye.