moments Memories and sadness

a week came by and one member of my family had gotten a good working job overseas and that we were all to pack up and leave, I was given 2days to go back to school and sort things out with my administrator. I told my friend about the issue with the administrator and he decided to meet me on campus. I went to campus and indeed he tag along with me till I was done with the administrator. we talked for a while and we walked around campus for while later I decided to take that opportunity to go to my hostel to sort things with my hostel manager and on our way back my friend and I met someone.

Manuel was standing in front of his house with a new lady and I decided to walk by hoping he won't notice me and my friend.

"what happened between the both of you?" my friend asked.

"we broke up" I said smiling

"whose fault? he asked

"mine"

"why? he asked

"I guess I wasn't ready"

"same feelings?"

"what feelings? I asked

"your inferiority" he said

he indeed knows me better.

"I have enough problems already"

"but...,

"let's not talk about this" I hurriedly said

a minute later, someone grabbed my hand from the back.

just when I thought I had escaped the eyes of Manuel, here he was furious

"you couldn't meet me but here you are with him" he said

"please let's not start again, I have no energy left" I said

"we have to, not when you didn't give me enough reason for the break up" he said

"l have enough problems already, please we have already end things so let it stay like that"

"so I was a problem for you, I love you and although you didn't feel the same I still loved you, what exactly did I do wrong tell me and I promise I will fix it or is it because you found out you love your friend and so no need for me?" he asked

"let's talk" I said and lead him away from my friend.

"Eve why don't you just say sorry and things will go back to the way it was ok" he said

it was never going to be the same

"remember when the other time we were together you asked what will make me break things up with you" I asked

"yes, you said when the burden becomes too much, although I never I understood what you meant" he said.

"yes, when the burden becomes too much and now the burden is too much and I can't add more to it, you can't help me to lift the burden when you especially is one of my burdens and I want to take off" I said

"and I was the first one to let go?" he asked

"I'm sorry but I have to let you go. I'm sorry for the disappointment and pain I have cost you. I'm truly sorry and goodbye" with that I left with my friend.

don't think for once that I wasn't pained because I wasn't in love with him or because I wasn't in love with him that's why I easily let him go, no that's not the reason, me staying away from him those weeks, I missed him, I wished things was different, I wished I was selfish and braver enough and I would have picked him but I loved my family more and whatever I felt for him as of today going ought to be killed. just because I don't cry doesn't mean I don't get hurt if how I feel inside is in me shedding tears then even a well wouldn't be enough.

my friend escorted me to the car and I bid him goodbye

"thank you for everything" I said

"why are you talking as if it's our last time meeting up, I know where you stay and I will come around now that I'm free so I can visit your family"

I just smiled and said goodbye to him.

"hey! pick up when I call ok" he said

"good bye and take care" I said and we drove off.

*so this is it?*