chapter forty

when he left Joan was so heartbroken, she called Kimmy over and she told her everything

"ahh so that's the reason for your mood swings lately" Kimmy said

""but why are you angry, I mean you clearly want him around you so why did you send him away" Kimmy said

"I am so angry at him, I guess he doesn't know how important he is to me and him avoiding me made me thought countless times what I did wrong with him, I was so angry at myself Everytime I couldn't find any reason, I blamed myself Everytime I saw him smiling from afar for doing something that won't let me see his smiling face again and his Happy face. he was happy without me and I was hurt.

I cried every night, when I open my closet and I see his belongings, when I get on bed and I look at his spot and smell him, when every single thing in this house and in my life reminded me of him.

I am so angry and tommorow I will talk to him"

Joan said

"you will talk to him tomorrow?' Kimmy asked

"yes, I hardly breathe those moments without him, although I'm angry, I am also happy he apologized and everything will go back to the way it was tommorow after I see him" Joan said, sigh and smiled

Kimmy stared at her and then asked her

"who is Nick to you"

"what do you mean" Joan asked

"what's Nick's position in your life" Kimmy asked

"he's..... he's special" Joan said

"Joan....." Kimmy called out her name and analyzed her as the next question was something to clear or confirm the doubt

"yes" Joan said as she looked at Kimmy

"what do you feel when you think of Nick or when he's around and if he's not around" Kimmy asked

"huh?..... why this question" Joan asked with a strange look

"just answer me" she said

"I....I feel warmth, happy, angry at times, jealous at times, annoyed at times and sadness at times when I think about Nick" she said with her eyes closed and she smiled

"The thought of him makes my heart beat a lot. and when he's around I feel at peace, that I can get anything I want with him around, I want to always have him around although my heart sometimes can't stop thumping and wants to jump out, I still love it when he's around me." Joan said as she giggled still with her eyes closed..