Closure

Sa may garden naabutan ni Jenneth si Ryan. Bluff lang iyong tawag nito kunyari. Wala naman itong kausap sa telepono. Nakaupo lamang ito sa isang planter na naroon, parang malalim ang iniisip.

"Why do you have to do that?"

Napatingin si Ryan kay Jenneth.

"You're too obvious." Tinabihan niya ito. "Hindi ka talaga marunong umarte."

Hindi sumagot si Ryan. For the first time ay walang maikomento ang madaldal na si Ryan Arcilla.

"Do you really hate him that much?"

"I don't!" Ryan snapped.

"Then why are you acting like that?"

"Because–" Napaharap si Ryan sa kanya, pero pagkatapos naman noon ay wala ulit itong nasabi. Napaharap na lang ulit ito sa mga halaman.

"Dahil ba masisira iyong plano ninyo? You know from the beginning that Samantha has a boyfriend."

"I know…" Ryan sounded exasperated. "I just…" He turned to face her again. "Why does he have to be here? Bakit ngayon? Bakit dito?"

Jenneth contemplated if she should tell Ryan about the engagement. She thinks he at least need to know it, so that he could understand everything and maybe, stop the plan that he's doing. But then, Jenneth thought na sina Samantha at Allan ang dapat na magsabi niyon sa kahit na sino mang gusto nilang pagsabihan.

"Maybe it was… planned," ang sabi na lamang niya.

"What do you mean?"

"You told me about destiny and things happening because they should. Maybe this is also what should happen, so it happened."

Ryan took a deep breath. Hindi na niya sinagot pa ang sinabing iyon ni Jenneth.

"Let's be fair with Allan, okay?" ani Jenneth. "Hindi naman niya kasalanan na siya ang boyfriend ni Sam. In fact, he could have been Sam's husband if they had gotten married early. Eh di sana wala na kayong plano kay Sam at Kenneth? Hindi naman tamang ipagpilitan silang dalawa kung kasal na si Samantha."

"He feels so out of place," Ryan suddenly said.

"Huh?" Hindi maintindihan ni Jenneth ang ibig nitong sabihin.

"Para siyang sampid lang sa perpektong kwentong ito, parang extra."

Ryan looked at Jenneth, and finally, she felt she understands why Ryan is like that to Allan.

"He's that person who shouldn't be here."

Jenneth held Ryan's hand. The latter looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I just… can't help it."

"Hindi ka naman ganoon."

"I am. I'll always be," Ryan said. "Hanggang sa huli ako pa rin ang sampid sa pamilya ng tatay ko."

"Hindi pa rin ba kayo okay ng mama mo?"

"We will never be okay," Ryan said. "We will never be okay until she finally realized that hey, her family is whole and maybe, tainted. But at least, it's whole. Not damaged. Just… stained."

Jenneth didn't comment on that. Hindi naman kasi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin. Katulad niya ay biktima rin si Ryan ang panghuhusga dahil anak siya ng isang kabit.

Or, in Ryan's case, anak siya ng isang katulong sa bahay ng kanyang mga magulang dati.

"Allan makes me remember that feeling. Being out of place, someone who does not belong… At naiinis ako. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko for feeling like that."

Now, that is something that Jenneth does now know. Akala talaga niya ay naiinis si Ryan kay Allan. Hindi naman pala.

"Hindi ka naiinis kay Allan?"

"More on the situation. More on fate."

Oo nga naman. Nakakainis nga naman na andun na yung momentum ng lahat, tapos biglang mabubulilyaso. But somehow, Jenneth is glad at Ryan's revelation.

"Nakakatawa tayo, ano? Pinagtagpo pa talaga tayo ng tadhana." Ryan is not smiling. He's actually being sarcastic.

Oo nga naman, Jenneth thought. Silang dalawa pa talaga ang nagkaibigan? Dalawang taong ipinanganak dahil sa isang pagkakasala. Paano kaya kung sila ang nagkatuluyan?

Pero hindi. Jenneth suddenly felt bad as she remembers what happened back then.

"Nakakatawa nga. Kasi, alam mo naman kung ano ang kasalanan ng daddy mo pero ginawa mo rin naman iyon noong tayong dalawa pa."

Na-shock si Ryan sa sinabing iyon ni Jenneth. Maging si Jenneth ay nabigla din sa nasabi niya.

"Sorry, I just… I just suddenly remembered."

"It's okay," Ryan said. "I understand."

Back then, Jenneth thought that what Ryan did to her is for her to atone for her mother's sins as a mistress. Naging simbolo ng pambabae ang nanay niya, so pambababae din ang naging dahilan ng pagkasira ng relasyon nila ni Ryan.

But then, Henry happened, and she doesn't know anymore.

"It's not that I'm still not over it… Well, it was a long time ago."

Long time, indeed. Ang dami nang nangyari. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin noon na kakalimutan na niya ang lahat, hindi ba?

"I'm sorry," Ryan said. "For everything that has happened."

Jenneth looked at him but didn't say anything. Feeling niya ay kailangan niyang ibigay ang moment na ito kay Ryan. Kailangan niyang hayaan itong magsalita. As well as she doesn't know what to say also.

"I guess I really never apologized to you, like really apologize for what I did before… I was a jerk… I guess I still am. And I'm sorry…"

Jenneth can feel Ryan's remorse, that he's really sorry about everything that had happened before. Somehow, she feels glad. For after all those years, they finally have a closure.

"You were always a jerk," Jenneth said.

Napatingin si Ryan sa kanya.

"If you're not, then you're not Ryan Arcilla."

"Yeah…" Ryan looked down. "I guess I was really stupid. I should have searched for a better solution instead of being a jerk… sa pamilya ko, sa mga kakilala ko, sa school, sa iyo…"

Honestly, hindi pa rin totally nakaka-get over si Jenneth sa mga nangyari. Until now that they have that conversation. Siguro nga they just needed to talk. They just needed to settle things between them. Hindi naman necessarily kailangan makalimutan kung ano man ang nangyayari dati. They just have to move on and be okay with the idea that they have to move on.

"Hayaan mo na iyon. Matagal na rin naman. Let's just… move on."

"Do you think…"

Jenneth looked at him. Ryan is still looking down.

"Do you think we could… we could have fixed it?"

Jenneth was stunned. Ryan looked at her, his eyes having that hopeful look on them.

"Do you think… kung totoo lang itong scheme na ito, na talagang ginusto ko na maayos yung kung anuman ang namagitan sa atin dati… do you think it could have worked?"

"Please don't say that, Ryan. Please don't... Hayaan na lang natin na ganito," Jenneth said. "We're okay, we've settled things between us. Let's just leave it like that."

"Right…" Ryan looks down again. "Right…"

The truth is, Jenneth also wondered kung paano nga ba if totoong para sa kanila ang bakasyon na iyon at hindi para kina Samantha at Kenneth? Will it work? May chance bang magkabalikan silang dalawa?

Well maybe they'll never know. No one will know.

"Madilim na pala."

She looked at Ryan. Nakatingala ito sa langit. Nakitingin na rin si Jenneth. The sun has set in. Nagsisimula nang dumilim. Ilang oras na rin naman kasi sila kanina sa pool bago dumating sina Samantha at Allan.

"Say…"

"Hmm?" She looked at Ryan.

"Do you think… If I haven't done that… Could we still be together until now?"

Natigilan si Jenneth. Why did he ask that so suddenly?

Ryan looked at her, then smiled.

"Sorry, natanong ko lang."

"Maybe…"

Napatingin si Ryan sa kanya.

"But you did that, so…"

Ryan just looked at her. Siguro nagsisisi pa rin ito sa mga nagawa nito dati. Well, he should be. He broke her heart. He crushed her soul. Naniniwala pa rin si Jenneth na mabuti itong tao at kaya pa rin nitong makonsensiya sa ginawa nito dati.

Biglang lalong dumilim. Jenneth looked around, and it seems there is a power outage. Bigla na lamang niyang narinig si Kenneth na tinatawag si Ryan. He's rushing to them, at kasunod nito si Samantha.

"Si Darlene?" tanong ni Kenneth.

"Nasa pool," sagot ni Ryan. Saka ito biglang natigilan.

Kaagad na nagpunta ng swimming pool si Kenneth. Sumunod naman ang tatlo.

"She's with Allan," ani Jenneth na naguguluhan sa inaarte ni Kenneth.

Nang malapit na sila sa may pool area ay nakita nila si Allan. Mag-isa ito. Wala si Darlene.

"Si Darlene?" tanong ni Kenneth kay Allan.

"I left her at the pool," Allan answered. "I got a call–"

Hindi na pinatapos pa ni Kenneth ang sasabihin ni Allan. Bigla na itong nagmadaling bumalik sa may pool area. Naguguluhan si Jenneth lalo na nung makita niyang sumunod kaagad si Ryan kay Kenneth. Si Samantha at Allan naman ay natigilan din sa nangyari.

The three of them followed Kenneth and Ryan. Nakita din nila nung biglang nag-dive si Kenneth sa swimming pool para sagipin ang nalulunod na si Darlene. Parang pinako sa kinatatayuan si Jenneth. She just stood there, shocked at what is happening.

"Darlene!" cried Ryan as he jumped to the pool as well. Tinulungan niya si Kenneth na maiahon ang bata.

Si Samantha naman ay dumalo na rin kay Darlene upang i-check ang kalagayan nito. Mukha namang okay ang bata bukod sa nakainom ito ng konting tubig.

"I'm really sorry… I didn't know…"

Jenneth looked at Allan. Natataranta na rin ito dahil sa nangyari.

"Bakit mo kasi siya iniwan?!" sigaw ni Ryan sa lalaki.

"I got an important call," sagot ni Allan.

"Alam mo bang takot siya sa dilim? Nag-panic siya kaya muntikan na siyang malunod!"

"Ryan!" Jenneth exclaimed.

Hindi naman tamang sisihin ni Ryan si Allan sa isang bagay na hindi nito alam. For sure ay hindi naman ganoon kairesponsable si Allan para iwan si Darlene kung alam niyang takot ito sa dilim.

Nanahimik naman si Ryan, pero nandoon pa rin iyong matalim na tingin nito kay Allan.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware of that. I thought she's okay to be left alone. I just needed to get a better signal," paliwanag naman ni Allan. "Kenneth, I'm sorry…"

Kenneth looked at Allan. Mukhang naninimbang ito. Sa huli ay umalis na lang ito bitbit si Darlene. Sumunod naman sa kanila si Ryan.

"Sam…" Allan said.

Jenneth felt bad for Allan as Samantha chose to go with Kenneth and Ryan. Naiwan silang dalawa ni Allan sa may pool area.

"I'm sorry…" Allan said.

"It's not your fault. You didn't know… Pero hindi rin naman natin sila masisisi. They were really worried about Darlene."

Naiintindihan din naman ni Jenneth ang naging reaksiyon nina Kenneth at Ryan. But still, she can't help but feel bad for Allan.

"I messed up again."

"Don't say that," ani Jenneth.

"And Darlene… she's mad at me."

"Mukha namang hindi," ani Jenneth. "Darlene is a great kid. For sure naiintindihan naman niya iyon. But if you want, I'll help you talk to her later."

Mukha namang madaling kausapin si Darlene. For sure maiintindihan naman niya ang sitwasyon.

Tumango si Allan. "Thanks, Jenneth. You've been very good to me."

Jenneth looked at him. Ang totoo, nakokonsensiya siya. She can feel that Allan is a good person, pero heto siya at tumutulong na mai-divert ang feelings ni Samantha sa ibang lalaki. She suddenly feels guilty.

Pero ano naman ang sasabihin niya? Nasa tamang posisiyon ba siya para magsalita? Oo nga at may kinalaman na siya sa plano nina Ryan at Darlene, but still, feeling niya ay dapat sa dalawa manggaling ang kung ano mang confession na kailangang mangyari.

"You're welcome," ang nasabi na lamang niya sa huli.

Mukhang hindi na talaga tama ang mga nangyayari. Jenneth knows that this has to stop. Napapahamak na si Darlene and who knows what might happen next? Ayaw man niyang isipin, pero ang pagkalunod nito kanina, parang sign na iyon ng universe para itigil na nila ang kung ano mang pinaplano nila.

Yes, this has to stop. She needs to talk to Ryan about this. Again, wala nga siguro siya sa tamang posisyon para magsabi ng ganoon, but still, she has to do it. She has to end this scheme before anything worse might happen.