The Reason

"It felt as if... as if her world just revolves around me."

Naaalala pa ni Ryan iyong naging pag-uusap nila noon ng nanay ni Jenneth na si Emilia.

"𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘸𝘢 𝘢𝘬𝘰 𝘯𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘬 𝘬𝘰. 𝘒𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨, 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯, 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨... 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘯 𝘯𝘢 𝘪𝘣𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘣𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘢 𝘮𝘨𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘢 𝘪𝘺𝘰," 𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘌𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢.

𝘔𝘦𝘥𝘺𝘰 𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘶𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪 𝘙𝘺𝘢𝘯. "𝘈𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘩𝘪𝘯?"

"𝘓𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬, 𝘣𝘶𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪 𝘴𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘴𝘢 𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯, 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘸 𝘬𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘪𝘺𝘰𝘯? 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘺 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘬𝘢𝘴𝘪 𝘥𝘢𝘸 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘬𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘴𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘨𝘫𝘢-𝘫𝘰𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰. 𝘚𝘢𝘣𝘪 𝘬𝘰 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘬𝘢-𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘩𝘮𝘢 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘯𝘢 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘺𝘢. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘢𝘸 𝘴𝘢 𝘬𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘨𝘢 𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘪 𝘮𝘰. 𝘔𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘪-𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘢𝘸 𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘭𝘰."

"𝘐𝘺𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘰 𝘬𝘢𝘴𝘪 𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘢 𝘬𝘰 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘢 𝘮𝘨𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘩𝘮𝘢," 𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘙𝘺𝘢𝘯.

"𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘙𝘺𝘢𝘯. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘯𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦, 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳?" 𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘌𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢. "𝘈𝘯𝘨 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵. 𝘒𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘯 𝘬𝘰, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘰, 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘢 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘬𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘨𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘴𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘪 𝘯𝘪𝘺𝘢."

𝘙𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘌𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢'𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘮𝘢. 𝘏𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘳𝘪𝘯 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘨𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘭𝘢 𝘯𝘪 𝘑𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘩.

"𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰'𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘙𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢. 𝘏𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘬𝘰 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘺𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘴𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘬 𝘬𝘰," 𝘌𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥.

At hindi rin naman iyon gusto ni Ryan.

Nagkaroon ng opportunity si Jenneth to work in Manila, sa hospital na pinagtatrabahuhan ng nanay niya as a nurse. Malaki ang sweldo, maganda ang experience na maibibigay nito kay Jenneth. But she turned it down. And the reason was Ryan.

"I talked to her about it. She said it's alright na dito na lang sa Tarlac siya magtrabaho as long as she's with me. Then, it hit me. Bakit kailangan mapako siya dito just because of me? I tried convincing her pero walang nangyari. Her decision was final. She's staying here in Tarlac no matter what. So I had to make something up."

"You mean, yung pambababae mo noon, it's all a scheme?"

"Let's just say I did it on purpose... To push Jhing away."

Kenneth looked at Ryan, still could not believe what the latter just revealed. Remembering what happened back then, all he could think of is that Ryan has become the worst person that he could be. Tahasang panloloko ang ginawa nito kay Jenneth. And whenever he tells that to him, he just gets angry with him at pinipilit lang nitong panindigan ang panloloko nito.

"When we broke up, her mom talked to me. Sobrang nagalit siya kasi nga niloko ko ang anak niya. I wasn't able to tell her anything. Hindi ko kasi alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko," ani Ryan. "I just looked at her. And then somehow, she understood. She told me she is very disappointed that I could not think of a better way."

"Ako rin naman," Kenneth said. Ngayong nalaman na niya ang totoo ay biglang nainis siya sa kababawan ng kaibigan.

"Intindihin mo naman ako," ani Ryan. "Wala na akong ibang maisip that time. Alam ko hindi ako masyadong matalino katulad mo. Hindi ako makaisip ng mas magandang solusyon."

"You could have just broken up with her and told her the truth."

"She wouldn't break up with me," Ryan said. "She would just say na gagawan niya ng paraan. Na pipilitin niyang ma-improve ang sarili niya and it will be just for me again. I don't like that. Gusto ko, maisip niya na hindi dapat sa isang lalaki o tao lang umiikot ang mundo niya. Kasi kapag nagkataon na matapos na ang lahat sa amin, malaki ang mawawala sa kanya. Ang buong sarili niya. I want her to love someone and not lose herself in the process."

May punto din naman si Ryan. Ayaw mang sumang-ayon ni Kenneth kasi naging mali ang pamamaraang ginamit nito, aminado naman siyang naintindihan niya ito.

"And why did you suddenly tell me all about that now?" Kenneth asked.

Nasa may dalampasigan sila ngayon. Doon sila napunta nang matapos silang kumain at hindi matiis ni Kenneth ang katotohanang kasama ni Allan si Samantha na matulog sa iisang kuwarto lang.

"Because as you noticed, I was a fool," Ryan said. "Naging mali ang pamamaraan ko and I know you could have done better. I know you could do better this time."

Hindi nakapagsalita si Kenneth. So all this time, iyon pala ang ibig nitong sabihin.

"I messed up with Jhing. Now I had the chance to make it right, pero sumablay naman kasi bigla na lang dumating iyong Allan na iyon. But you, I know you can do a better job at it. Kaya mong ipaglaban si Sam, Ken. You just have to be brave enough."

Ryan wished he had really inspired Kenneth. Alam niyang hindi siya magaling pagdating sa bagay na iyon, pero sana ay may natutunan ito kahit papaano sa mga nasabi niya dito.

Ilang oras din silang nanatili sa lugar na iyon bago sila puntahan ni Darlene. Lunch na daw kasi at nakaluto na sila ni Jenneth. Nagulat pa si Ryan na ganoong katagal na pala sila nanatili sa lugar na iyon.

Silang apat lang ang nag-lunch. Hindi na nila pinuntahan pa sina Samantha at Allan sa may kuwarto upang yayaing magtanghalian. Kenneth won't dare, and Ryan might just get upset upon seeing Allan. Jenneth just thought it would be rude, lalo na at baka nagmo-moment ang dalawa dahil na rin sa ilang linggo na rin simula nung huli silang magkita. Mabuti na lang at hindi nangulit si Darlene this time.

Tahimik silang kumain ng tanghalian. Maging ang makulit na si Darlene ay sa pagkain lang nag-focus. Habang kumakain, na-realize ni Jenneth na parang pamilyar ang eksenang iyon. Silang tatlo nina Ryan at Kenneth, at pagkatapos si Darlene na kamukha ni Kristine. Parang noong dati lang. Siguro dahil sa pagre-reminisce niya with Darlene kaya bigla siyang nakaramdam ng nostalgia.

Pagkatapos mag-lunch ay nagpasyang mag-billiards sina Ryan at Kenneth. Oo, may in-house billiard table ang rest house ni Dr. de Villa. Sila namang dalawa ni Darlene ay nagpasyang maglaro ng sungka. Nakakatuwa nga kasi naging interesado ang bata sa isang tradisyunal na laro ng Pilipinas. At natuwa rin si Jenneth na nakalimutan na ni Darlene ang tungkol sa kwento nilang dalawa ni Ryan.

Nang hapon ay nagpasya silang apat na maligo ulit sa pool. Halata pa rin ang kawalang-gana ni Kenneth, na pilit namang nililibang ni Ryan. Iyon nga lang, meyo umandar na naman ang pagiging bata ni Darlene.

"Hindi pa rin po ba lalabas sina Tita Sam at Tito Allan?"

Hindi makasagot sina Ryan at Kenneth.

"Baka kasi may jet lag si Allan," ang sabi na lamang ni Jenneth.

"Ano po yung jet lag?"

Jenneth is trying to explain to Darlene what jet lag means nang lumabas sina Samantha at Allan sa may pool area. Lumapit ang mga ito sa kanila at mukhang ready na rin itong mag-swimming kasama nila. As usual ay friendly pa rin ang mood ni Allan, kahit pa nga obvious naman ang indifference ng dalawang lalaking kasama nila dito.

"Sorry, I overslept," Allan apologized.

"Okay lang," ani Jenneth. She felt obliged to represent the group because Ryan and Kenneth will just not speak. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. Some good doctor took care of me," Allan answered.

Jenneth could see Samantha's awkwardness, as well as Ryan's annoyance. Kenneth is somehow seemingly melancholic.

"Hindi po ba ikaw nagugutom, Tito?" tanong ni Darlene kay Allan.

"Actually, I'm quite hungry," sagot ni Allan.

"Mamaya pa tayo maghahapunan," ang sabi naman ni Ryan. "Kakameryenda lang kasi namin."

The adults were quiet. Alam ni Jenneth na inis si Ryan dahil hindi mangyayari ang pinaplano niya, pero medyo sumosobra naman yata ito? Simula pa lang ay alam naman nito na may boyfriend na si Samantha, so bakit parang isang plot twist ang nangyayari ngayon kung mag-react ito?

"We are planning to go out to eat tonight," ang sabi na lamang niya kay Allan.

"That's nice," ani Allan. "I guess I could wait until everyone feels like eating again."

"I'll get you some sandwich," ang sabi ni Samantha kay Allan.

"Oh, thank you, Babe," ani Allan. "Why don't we go get it together?"

"No, it's okay," ani Samantha. "You stay here and rest."

"I slept and rested for almost ten hours already."

"Just… stay here…"

Allan and Samantha looked at each other. Jenneth could sense the connection between them. Iyong isang tingin pa lang ay alam na ng isa't isa kung ano ang iniisip ng bawat isa. Maybe because they've been together for a long time now? Bigla tuloy siyang nalungkot. The situation they are at right now seems very hard.

"Okay." Allan smiled.

Samantha went to the kitchen to prepare the sandwich. Bigla namang tumunog ang cellphone ni Kenneth kaya nag-excuse muna ito upang sagutin ang tawag. Nang biglang magpaalam din si Ryan.

"May kailangan din nga pala akong tawagan," Ryan said, then left.

Napatingin na lamang si Jenneth sa tatlo. Alam niyang hindi naman iyon sinandya nina Samantha at Kenneth, pero iba ang kay Ryan. Alam niyang ayaw lang nitong mag-stay siya doon kasama si Allan kaya gumawa lang ito ng dahilan para makaalis.

"I guess your friends are all busy," ani Allan kay Jenneth.

"I'm sorry," ani Jenneth.

"It's okay," ani Allan. "Samantha left me here because she wants me to hang out with her friends. But it seems that your friends do not want to hang out with me."

So that's the meaning of their tinginan earlier. Baka kanina pa man ay napag-usapan na nila bago sila bumaba na ganoon ang plano nila. It's just that Samantha's friends have other plans.

"Excuse me," biglang paalam ni Jenneth.

"You're leaving, too?" tanong ni Allan.

"I'll just talk to Ryan," ani Jenneth.

"Oh no! Please don't," ani Allan.

"He's treating you unfairly. I don't know what he's up to, but he needs some scolding to make him come to his senses."

Talagang nahihiya siya sa ipinapakitang treatment ni Ryan kay Allan. Kailangan niya talaga itong pagsabihan ang there's no better time for that than now.

Wala na ngang nagawa pa si Allan nang iwan siya nito kay Darlene. Oh well, the two will be fine. Mabait naman si Darlene at wala naman itong masamang tinapay kay Allan. Kahit pa nga ito ang dahilan kung bakit maaaring hindi matupad ang gusto ng mommy nito.

But does Darlene know? Does she understand? Jenneth is sure that she doesn't. Alam niyang matalinong bata si Darlene, pero alam din niyang masyado pa itong bata para maintindihan ang lahat.