At The Lowest Point

Infuriated, Rom walked outside a storm of contradicting emotions, and thoughts. Gnarled in his own discord, Rom stood at the top of the steps, watching the curtain of water in front of his eyes, letting it inundate his senses. The heavy sound of the rain pitter-patter helped to some breadth, clear his head and the ball of anger. Making room for the all too familiar self-loathing, and shame that quickly unfurled, spreading, and crawling under his skin at the atrocity he'd just committed.

Rom closed his eyes, but that didn't do him any favours, as flashes of what he'd just done to Edýia, despite her pleas for him to stop. And that just made things so much worse. He couldn't stop himself. Appalled with himself, no less, a feeling that had accompanied him over time, and increased with each life he took, with each atrocity he'd committed in the name of saving what remained of the denizens of Redkyte citadel, and all of Hessian populous, and now this, Edýia.Without wasting any more time, Rom stepped into the rain, with his eyes closed, reliving, each scrap of those awful moments while trying to understand himself. Did it matter? It didn't, he concluded after a brief debate with himself. Edýia was lively, beautiful, and full of mischief, and he was undeserving of her. He knew all of that before he'd embraced the idea of having her in his life. He wasn't worthy of her love. Now, she had seen the other side of him. The ruthless, self-loathing prick that was none other than himself.

A brief moment and that was all it took, for his anger to blind him, and become his very own, personal enemy, capable of committing such an atrocious act against the very woman he loved, and vowed to protect, Edýia. Rom looked up, thankful for the thick curtain of rain that hid his tears. Despair and sorrow quickly spread their tendrils as the cold rain washed away the anger, and disdain towards what he thought to be one of the nastiest things, he'd ever heard of. Sex slaves, that's what the women were, and he'd treated Edýia like one. He was no better than them. Rom fell on his knees distraught, buried his face in his hands, and stood there unmoving until the rain had slowly but surely, ceased. Drenched, filled with remorse and self-deprecation, Rom pushed himself off the grounds, and walked back into Ironstone, with one thought in mind. He needed to ask for forgiveness from Edýia. She didn't deserve to be treated like that. Anger quickly unfurled, this time at himself, but he took a deep breath to bind himself to reality. A reality where he would have to face the consequences of his actions. With wavering steps, he began clambering the stair that led to their chamber. His thoughts, still strayed, still very much a bundle of gut-wrenching disgust, guilt, and the heavy pang in his heart of what Edýia would decide to do with him after what he'd done, was coiling, and twisting, restless. Why did he do that? To her, no less. The woman that he loved more than anything. Madness was the only rationale that made sense, at that moment. Rom halted his steps in front of the door, unable to find the courage to face it. Hindered by the fear that now, she would want nothing to do with him, not after what he'd done. With a deep breath and heart in thorns, Rom pushed the door open, ready to face whatever Edýia would throw at him. Hopefully, not a blade.

With wavering steps, Rom stepped through the door, as his eyes searched the room for Edyia. To his horror, Edýia was on the floor in a pool of blood, curled up on herself, and at that moment his heart sank, and all the blood in his body froze. In a fit of panic Rom, scrambled to her, falling on his knees next to her, to check if there were any cuts. Edýia wasn't hurt when he left her. How did that even happen? Everything was a mishmash, his mind had gone blank, and he felt his soul shrivel and slowly die at that sight.

" Edýia" Rom choked up, as he pulled her into his arms, walked to the bed, placing her on it. Watchful, Rom's eyes scoured every patch of skin to see where the blood was coming from. She was awake, but nobody was home. Edýia stared into space, blank, pale as the bed sheets.

Rom stopped when he found where the blood was coming from, and glanced at the pool on the floor when it dawned on him what had happened, and what he'd been the cause of.

" No" Rom pressed his forehead against hers, choking up on his shame, and sorrow"Edýia" Rom called between tears " Please, forgive me," he said grief-stricken, agonising in pain, and that was enough to make Edýia look at him, but there was nothing there. The wondrous curiosity, playful mischief, cheeky innocence, none of that reflected in her eyes anymore, it was gone. And he was responsible for it, he took all of that away and their unborn child. He was at loss, he found no pertinent words to describe himself. He was a monster, that was the only name suitable to describe himself.

" I'm sorry" Rom closed his eyes, kissing the corner of her mouth, in a desperate endeavour to get Edýia to say something, to him. Punch him, scream at him, beat him, he would take it all, as long what he'd done would just go away, wipe the slate clean.

Edýia closed her eyes, as a lone tear lurched down her cheek, and flinched when he cupped her face to catch it. She shuddered when Rom, placed a kiss on her cheek, it was of disgust at his touch. He assumed the worst and believed what it was to his liking. And because of it, now she was laying on a bed, covered in blood. Her pleas fell on deaf ears, and that hurt the most. She asked him to stop, but he didn't, he just carried on.

" Leave," Edýia whispered, and opened her eyes, to look at him full of bitterness. With one look, his heart ceased to beat for a brief moment. He'd turned a spirited creature, a loving mischievous bundle, into a spiteful one in the blink of an eye. There was no one that he could blame for it, other than himself.

Rom sucked a breath " Please, forgive me" he pleaded but Edýia didn't even spare him a glance. Rom straightened himself, to sit before her, remorseful" I'll go get Pelham" he kissed her cheek, but she flinched again at his touch. As he shuffled off the bed, he walked past the puddle of blood, and scrunched his eyes, to avoid looking at it. If he wasn't wrong, Edýia had an abortion, because of him, and what he did to her. There was too much blood to be just the regular bleeding. So that was the only thing that made sense. To his dismay, when he opened the door he bumped into Sala, who was preparing to enter the room, and the timing was the absolute worse. If Dakran and Maya hear about what he'd done, he was as good as dead. Then again, if Edýia doesn't forgive him, might as well. Rom stepped aside to let Sala in, frowning at his expression, as her eyes strayed to the bed and gasped when she saw Edýia on the bed, stained with blood.

" What happened?" Sala's question arrived almost instantly and scurried towards the bed to check on Edýia. But he cowardly stayed mum at that question, as he stared at her, but she didn't look at him. Not that he deserved it.

" Get Pelham," Sala hurriedly, said struggling to control her concern while she did, as he did, and checked everywhere.

" I'll be back shortly," Rom meekly said, but he knew none of the women would spare him an iota of attention. One by choice, and the other one too worried to even, hear him.

By the time Rom reached the infirmary, he'd already made peace with the notion, that Edýia might not ever want to know anything of him. With a heavy sigh, Rom pushed the door open, scouting the room in search of Pelham.