Chapter 37

I shouldn't have taken those days of starvation for granted. That's all I could think about as agonizing jolts of pain climbed my spine, bounced through my head, and shot back down repeatedly. Hidan stood against the closed cell door with his arms crossed and a glare as he waited for me to give in to his orders.

It's been two hours since I awoke in the dungeon after fainting. Screams echoed off the walls around us that I couldn't even comprehend as my own anymore.

As a bit of dark humor, I broke my time record for how long I could resist a glowing. Previously, it was just under five minutes, but it's been over ten now, and neither of us has relented.

Blood was dripping from my ears, nose, eyes, and lips. Heat enveloped my head like a stove burner continuously rising in temperature. The chains rattled as my body trembled with the effort to keep itself from falling apart.

"You're about to fucking die. Give up already!"

Then there was nothing: no pain, no thirst, no hunger, and no inner turmoil. It felt like I simply blinked, and then I was conscious again.

"-don't have a choice. Keep going until she-" A familiar voice was speaking nearby, but their words blurred in and out as my ears rang.

Moving any part of my body was impossible, as though the blood in my veins had been replaced with cement. All I could do was stare at my arms lying dirty and unmoving against the bloodied cell floor. My vision was unsteady, as though it was a candle flickering in and out of focus.

"-will have sensed her death. You need to just glow her and-"

Something moved within my blurry vision, and I slowly blinked, but it didn't help clear things up. When someone spoke again, I finally recognized it as Nagato's voice but didn't have the energy to do anything but listen, "I can have someone else do this if you need a break, but that's all I can do. You'll have to come back."

Suddenly, I was rolled onto my back, and blood met my lips. I groaned, feeling weak and queasy, but the liquid was helping.

"Are you sure you should be doing that?"

"She's just gonna fucking die if we don't give her a little. We need her to actually be awake to feel it." That was Hidan's voice. Against every fiber of my being, I spat out the delicious substance in my mouth and shoved his arm away.

I met the man's glowing eyes. It wasn't his irritation that stunned me, but the almost frantic glint in his expression as he barked at me disgustedly, "Fuck you, then, bitch."

I followed him with my eyes as he got up and pretty much stomped out of the room. Missing the dried blood around his eyes, nose, and lips was impossible. What I suspected was true: I died. What I don't understand is why he's the one doing this to me.

Actually, that's a lie.

Yahiko ordered him to do it to verify the strength of his loyalty to Amegakure. Torturing me is also torturing himself, and he did it without an argument.

What I truly don't understand is why Hidan would want to remain under the control of someone who'd ask him to do something like that. It goes against everything I've come to know of his character. He's kind of like what Madara was after I discovered the Uchiha family secret when he no longer hid his awful personality. There's no way either of them would do this kind of thing just because someone told them to. There has to be another reason he's putting himself through this.

Nagato followed the silver-haired vampire upstairs, leaving me in a bloody heap on the floor without a second glance. I was alone, so I took the chance to get some sleep. At least, that's what my plan was. What felt like just minutes later, I was shaken awake. When my eyes shot open and landed on Kisame's, I knew I wouldn't be getting rest anytime soon.

It's also when I gingerly accepted that there wouldn't ever be an opportunity to make a move against my captors unless I give in because no one was coming near me. You can drink someone's blood without touching them.

I lost count of how many times I was killed and brought back to life over the next twenty-four hours. It felt like more than ten, but that's just a sleep-deprived, starving, and mentally unhinged girl's best guess.

There were several times that I nearly gave in because the pain was too much to bear, but I didn't allow it. No, when things get so bad that I start flirting with the idea to ease my agony, I picture that room in Sonukuni. After Sasuke stopped me from killing some militiamen and brought me back to the others, the memory of everyone's faces kept me going: Sasuke, Madara, Ino, Sai, Inojin, and Sasori.

For them, I have to hold on with all I've got.

"Sakura!" My glazed-over eyes focused on Deidara, who suddenly appeared behind Kakuzu, who was taking his turn torturing me.

The man didn't bother apologizing because we both knew he had no choice. I know he's sorry, and he knows I'm not blaming him. That's all there is to say about it.

His threads manipulated my body upright as Deidara stepped around him, blue eyes full of tears as they took in my sorry appearance. Since I was shackled in this cell, I haven't been treated like a living being, so I likely looked like a corpse.

"Say what you need to say and go before someone notices your absence." Kakuzu snapped the blonde man out of his trance.

My head lulled to the side, and I closed my eyes, my voice akin to a zombie's, "I-I wish you didn't have to see me like this."

He hissed in a whisper, "I sent a letter to Konoha with what you said, and I just received a reply."

My eyes opened in surprise. Just by the look on his face, I could tell what news he was bringing, but he still said it aloud, "One of your masters intends to let himself be captured, so you're not alone when the other leads an attack on the castle."

Trembles shook my limbs as I cried, "N-No! Tell them no! I…. I don't think I'll be able to resist Yahiko for long as I am now. If they attack…."

Deidara shook his head, "It's too late. It takes nearly four days for letters to arrive from Konoha. By now, their plan's already in motion."

My head fell forward, my shoulders slumping as I sobbed weakly, "Please, find a way to stop them! I can…I can do this! I'll end this quickly; you just need to hold them off!"

"Sakura, just…. No."

I lifted my head, shaking with effort until Kakuzu brought a thread under my chin to aid me. Deidara cupped my cheek, tears flowing seamlessly down his face, "What are you going to do that you haven't already tried, hm?"

I gritted my teeth before stubbornly shaking my head. I don't care what it takes. One way or another, I will protect the two men before me and prevent anyone coming to my aid from having to battle.

Feeling reckless and determined, I searched his face more firmly, "How long until they arrive?"

"A day and a half if we're lucky. …What are you gonna do, Sakura?"

I focused on Kakuzu, frowning, "Tell my master I want to see him."

The two vampires shared a glance before Deidara shook his head, "Don't do this. It's not the answer." His words fell on deaf ears because I'd already decided.

"What else can I do! You're right, okay? I'm too weakened to kill them on my own. I at least have to try!"

With one more pitying glance, they obeyed my request and left the dungeon, Kakuzu's threads gently laying me on the concrete floor. Attempting to use our bond against Hidan has been my last resort plan this entire time. The monster's obviously affected by it, so it's not the worst idea in the world.

He himself has only killed me a couple of times. When I'm revived afterward, he's already disappeared and doesn't return for many hours. When he eventually shows his face again, he's more pissed each time.

The vampire in question appeared before me, pinkish eyes dark and full of hate as he glowered down at me, "Make it fucking quick. What do you want?"

Every ounce of pride abandoned me as I squeezed my eyes closed and forced myself onto my knees before him, "Please…." I sensed his surprise, but he didn't say anything, so I lifted my head to meet his eye, "Hidan, please. I-I… I'm begging you."

For a long time, entire minutes, he didn't move a muscle or speak a word and simply stared at me in poorly-masked disbelief. My body eventually shook and trembled with effort before it became impossible to stay upright. I collapsed forward to press my forehead to the ground, tears falling freely to leave little dark dots on it.

Hidan still didn't do anything, but if I faltered in my submissive position, he'd call me out on my plan. He's a grade-A asshole, but he's not a complete idiot. There's no way he isn't aware of what I'm trying to do. I'm relying on the bond to guilt him into giving me a chance.

As it has for however long I've been his prisoner, my guess is somewhere between two and three weeks, my body simply wouldn't do what I wanted it to, and I passed out.

The familiar sensation of hot water surrounded my body, and I snapped to life when my memories appeared, and I felt someone's hands moving over my skin. "You must think I'm some kind of moron." Unlike when I was last awake, my body wasn't throbbing with pain, and it wasn't quite as strenuous to move. Hidan must've given me some blood while I was out.

My initial reaction upon realizing I was in a bath with said vampire was to cover my chest and struggle out from where my back was resting against his chest, but I forced my body to remain completely still in hopes of not ruining my chances of success. When I didn't respond, mainly because I wasn't sure what to say, he surprised me by returning to his previous task of cleaning my dirty skin.

I let him, eyes wide and stomach churning with disgust. My hair was already clean. It fell in tangles around my shoulders, but all the blood was gone. How long was I unconscious? My concept of time is in shambles because I haven't seen the sun since I arrived in Amegakure.

My back hit Hidan's chest as I struggled to stay upright, and he wrapped an arm around my middle to keep me there as he continued. As much as I hate his proximity and touch, I have to admit to being stunned because his actions felt dutiful. From past experiences, I expected him to take advantage of me immediately.

After bathing, I was left alone to brush my teeth and hair. When I glimpsed my reflection in the mirror after bathing, I nearly fell into tears because I'd obviously lost weight. I've known vampires for over a year and have never witnessed one gain or lose body mass. Either they've all been lucky enough not to have been starved like I have, or this is another difference between angels and vampires. At least I'm not all skin and bones like I was when I first met the Uchihas yet. I can't imagine how long I'll have to suffer to look like that again.

When I exited the bathroom in a robe much too big for me, I was surprised to find I was in a new room, one I'd never seen before. A tray of food was on the desk with a letter that said not to leave the room and to sleep.

Suspicion. That was the only emotion flooding me as I pulled my knees to my chest in the desk chair and helped myself to my first meal in days.

At some point, after falling asleep in the massive bed, I was woken by Hidan. His demeanor was just as off as the last time I was in his presence as he climbed under the covers and lay on his side to face me. The words that left his mouth were on-brand, but his tone and aura weren't, "So, what's your big plan? Are you going to seduce me? Attack me? Why'd you finally fucking give up?"

The fact that he wasn't on top of me and also hadn't tried to glow me was something I hadn't foreseen. When I sent for him, I fully expected him to finally do what he wants with me because I bowed my head to him.

"I just…. I wanted to see you. Last time, you didn't look…." I lied through my teeth, but only slightly. My subconscious had, indeed, worried for him when he left looking as pale as a ghost, but realistically he could be killed, and I wouldn't mourn him.

He frowned, glare hardening as he studied my face. What's wrong with him? Two weeks ago, he would've been high with satisfaction at my submission. Hidan would've never stopped gloating that he'd finally bested me. The elation I expected was nowhere to be found.

Instead, he hissed, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Surprised, my mouth fell open, but no words came out.

"If you were going to pussy out, why did you wait this long to do it?"

Tears welled in my eyes, and I closed my lips, averting my gaze to his shoulder so I wouldn't have to meet his line of sight anymore. It was increasingly difficult to come up with responses.

For some reason, the fact that I didn't immediately respond appeared to make him angrier, "Answer me, bitch."

After calming down, I met his magenta gaze head-on, "Fine. If you want honesty, then I'll tell you the truth. I'm tired and scared. I was hungry, cold, and in pain. I don't want to be this close to you, but I couldn't take it in that cell anymore."

That's not the truth, but he still seemed to believe it.

Hidan laughed in my face, hinting at the satisfaction I'd been waiting for in his eyes, "Aw, what happened to your backbone? Didn't you say you weren't gonna stop fighting us no matter how long it takes?"

My tears overflowed, and I frowned but refused to look away, "I'm not the only one who lied. Admit it; you're relieved. You didn't want to hurt me anymore."

His grin vanished, but his eyes finally took on a red glow. The amusement in his tone was also gone, "If you hadn't bit me in Sonukuni, we wouldn't be here. It's your fucking fault."

Just like that, I got a glimpse of who Hidan was and what he truly wanted, and it wasn't to be tied to me. He's just as irritated by the bond as I am and wants to keep his distance from me so it doesn't become stronger. Yet he's still here, laying beside me in bed and having the closest thing to a real conversation we've had to date. The only reason for that is Amegakure. I don't know why he cares so much about it, enough so that he's allowing himself to purposely be put through torture.

Hidan wants to hate me and probably still does in some ways, but our bond won't let him, and that pisses him off more than anything else.

If he wasn't such a monster, I'd almost feel guilty, but I don't.

"Why have you been putting up with all this?" I ventured to ask.

I was probably pushing my luck, but I no longer have time to be cautious. Either Sasuke or Madara are on their way to purposely get captured. I need to end things before that happens.

For a long time, multiple minutes, neither of us said anything and simply stared at one another, but then Hidan finally broke, "If I do this for Amegakure, I'll be free." He knew that I knew what he meant.

The royal family offered to let him leave with his life if he helped them start and win this war. With that knowledge, his actions began to make sense. He wasn't being submissive to Yahiko; he was being self-serving. He wants freedom, and he will get it no matter the cost.

For this reason, I realized I'd made a mistake calling him. Hidan won't even consider helping me overpower Amegakure's vampires, not with his own life on the line. As much as I wish it wasn't the truth, I knew we were understanding one another far better now than ever before.

His statement was pretty much a "sorry, not sorry".

Tears welled in my eyes as the dread began to sink in, and I let out a bitter laugh, "You know what? I think if Sonukuni never happened, we might've become friends at some point."

Hidan smirked, "Don't get all fucking sentimental."

We held one another's gaze for another quiet moment before I felt him finally give the order, and I didn't fight it. I have to save my strength for when I'm finally out of this dungeon and can make a plan. Tears slowly ran down my cheeks as we exited the room, and he led me to Yahiko's office.

I stood before the king, queen, and Hidan.

"You've made the correct decision, Sakura," Konan smiled kindly, but I knew it was all for show. She's two-faced and fake; I'll have her head for it when the time's right.

Her husband spoke as though she hadn't said a word, "Let's test things, shall we?" His odd eyes swirled as he stared unblinkingly at my face. I could feel him compelling me to remain still as he walked around the desk to stand in front of me, reaching up with one finger extended toward my forehead. That's when I realized he was interested in the diamond-shaped crest embedded there.

My heart rate picked up, but I made myself stay still. Instead, I warned him, "I wouldn't touch that if I were you. If it breaks, we'll all be dead." Honestly, Tsunade only said that everyone around would be in grave danger, so I'm not sure about the details of what exactly would happen. I also don't want to find out.

"What is it?" The king asked while heeding my warning and backing off.

I have to wait until the perfect moment to act, so I answered honestly, "Energy storage. Don't ask me to explain how it works because I don't know."

Yahiko glanced at Hidan, who nodded and left the room, only to return moments later with Deidara. Before I could ask, the king ordered, "Kill him."

My limbs shook as I struggled to hold off his control, "What? Why? He's your ally!"

"Kill him, now."

I frowned as my gaze fell on the blonde man in question. Acceptance was upon his features, so I understood this was another test, and he was likely to be revived afterward. A sob shook my chest when, in a flash, I was in front of Deidara with his heart in my hand; my arm had gone entirely through his chest.

Disgusted, I dropped the organ and took several steps back. Bright blue eyes turned dull, and his body fell lifelessly to the floor. All I could do was stare. They want me to do that to thousands of people, anyone who stands in their way.

Yahiko appeared pleased with the results because his frown neutralized, "Konan, give her a change of clothes, and then we'll join the others."

He wordlessly ordered me to follow his wife, so I did, still trying to tear my gaze from Deidara's corpse. They're going to revive him, right? Please revive him!

The queen appeared to have given up on her attempts to appear friendly. She wordlessly handed me a bundle of clothing and gestured for me to change into them under her supervision. I did so without argument.

It was some sort of battle outfit made of a pair of skin-tight pants and a long-sleeved shirt. A thicker robe of sorts, sleeveless, went atop the shirt. Then, finally, a cloak acted as the outermost layer. It was loose and flowy but heavy. It felt as though metal was woven into the fabric somehow. The shirt and pants were black, the vest was dark red, and the cloak was black with the Amegakure family crest decorating it.

After having me put on some boots and pull my hair back into a ponytail, Konan led me back into the office. Deidara's body was gone, and I prayed it was because Nagato came to heal him.

Hidan's glowing eyes locked onto mine, his expression severe, "Stay beside me until I tell you otherwise."

It was overcast and raining outside when Hidan, Yahiko, and I left the castle, got into a vehicle, and drove to the outskirts of Amegakure, where I realized a battle was taking place. Maybe a hundred soldiers bearing the Uchiha colors were attacking while Ame's soldiers defended. When I exited the car, Hidan grabbed my arm to pull me along more quickly.

As we approached, my heart fell to the pit of my stomach as I lay eyes on Sasuke. He was covered in blood, not his own, and I watched as he landed a killing blow on Kakuzu.

"No…."

Hidan's grip tightened, "What the fuck did you think we were gonna have you do?"

Sasuke's eyes lifted to meet mine, and I could tell he was about to come our way, but a handful of Ame soldiers intercepted him. Yahiko and Hidan came to a stop far enough away from the battle that most hadn't noticed yet.

The king stood before me, and I could feel him ordering me to kill his enemies, but I fought it, "No! I said no! I won't hurt him!"

My arm was roughly yanked, causing me to turn and face Hidan, who stilled me with glowing eyes. In a moment that was both as quick as lightning and excruciatingly slow, but I could tell he wasn't happy to do it. He doesn't care about Sasuke or me, but he was still hesitant. Either way, his orders were far more challenging to prevent.

I panted for breath, an arm around my middle as pain flowed through me, "H-Hidan, don't make me do this. Please!"

The cautious attitude he had before disappeared, likely having his pride hurt because I continued to defy him in front of the king. He bit, "Kill them all, and don't let that Uchiha brat look you in the eyes."

Fire flooded my veins, and then my body was moving. Red coated my vision. It may have been my uncontrolled state, but there was so much blood that it could've easily been that, as well. It was like my consciousness reappeared at some point in the fight, and I realized I'd taken his orders literally. I was killing everyone, regardless of what crest their armor bore.

One after another, I slashed, tore, and bit at anyone I could get my hands on. The reins were missing, and I was blindly searching for them in the dark. Just barely, I could hear my heavy breathing and tortured whines as I struggled to stop and failed.

My body was ready to succumb to exhaustion the moment it began moving. I've had one good meal in the last few weeks and just enough blood to be revived each time I was killed. If it weren't for Hidan's orders, I'd likely have fainted by now.

A terrifying shriek left my lips when a sword suddenly pierced my shoulder. Whipping around, I reached back to grab the weapon's hilt, pulled it out, and slashed the soldier who'd injured me.

My hair tie snapped with the action, causing my hair to fall around my shoulders, waving slightly with the chaotic waves of power rushing through my veins.

The moment I'd been dreading arrived. Sasuke was suddenly in front of me, his sword clashing with mine.

"Sakura, look at me," his voice was controlled and firm, even in this awful situation. I kept my gaze on his hands and feet, unable to look at his face because Hidan forbade it.

Where he had skill and experience, I had reckless abandon and sheer willpower. Sasuke's movements were elegant, whereas mine were that of a brute. It didn't surprise me when he skillfully ran his sword's edge up mine, turning it just right so he could fling the weapon from my grasp.

In the back of my mind, I realized no one else was fighting anymore. It was only us. Yahiko was watching instead of stopping it because he wanted to see what I'd do. It's disgusting.

Then I was tackling him to the ground. He dropped his sword so he could try to catch my wrists. Blood, sweat, and tears dripped from my face as I desperately tried to stop fighting.

"Kill him, Sakura." The king's voice came from behind me.

It was impossible to prevent my actions entirely until I finally landed a hit on Sasuke. Three claw marks dug into his cheek, blood dripping from the wound instantly. The familiar scent seemed to snap me out of it. They were there, the reins. They were loose and wild but in my sights.

A pained growl tore through my chest as I acted quickly. I held one of his hands down with mine, brought my foot up to subdue his other, and fumbled to grab Sasuke's forgotten sword from the ground beside us.

"No, Sakura! Don't!" The prince's voice was fearful and desperate.

I ignored him, turning the weapon in my hand to shove it through the left side of my chest. Blood filled my mouth quickly. Sasuke sat up beneath me, grabbing my waist as he moved me lower so he could adequately hold me still. With the last of my energy, I tore the sword out and let it fall to the ground once more. The last thing I saw before passing out was Sasuke's pale face, contorted in panic and grief.