Chapter 52

I stared at the sleeping infant lying in a white crib while I sat on the edge of the bed. After Inojin was born, I realized parenthood was a definite possibility in my future, but I never expected it to happen this soon or, more importantly, this way.

Sarada is the only reason I'm alive. If not for her, I'd have- "Sasuke."

My eyes darted to the bedroom doorway to see Madara standing there.

He looks like shit. Then again, everyone in this damn castle does.

"Fugaku wants to see you in his office."

Nodding absently, I stood. The long-haired man took my place watching Sarada, though he pretended to be capable of reading a book instead of sitting there and zoning out. We both know he's not comprehending a word.

It's not that I don't trust the rest of my family, but Madara is the only one I can allow to watch over her when I'm absent. While Sakura was stuck with Tsunade, and he and I were trying to find a way to ensure I wouldn't be killed if she didn't survive, there was a night when my stress levels had gotten too high. I told Madara he was the one I'd want to raise Sarada if we failed, and I meant it. I still feel that way.

I don't know if it's because I know it's what Sakura would've wanted or if I genuinely care for and trust my uncle. Either way, he accepted without taunting or questioning.

As soon as I stepped into the hallway, the sound of Inojin crying in my brother and Ino's room met my ears. It's been a week since we returned home and three days since Sakura's funeral. My nephew has been inconsolable since the rest of the family was informed of her death. The idea that he's sensitive to others' emotions is all but confirmed at this point.

My mother cared for him for the first few days because Ino was so distraught that she was unstable, and Sai needed to be there for her, but Mom's heartbroken, too. It doesn't matter who the kid's around; he's not going to shut up.

Usually, I'd be irritated at the constant crying, but I can hardly hear it with everything else going on. I wish I could cry like that. Fuck, I want to. I might never stop if I start, though, so keeping my mouth shut and my emotions locked down is all I can do. There's no choice. I have to be here for Sarada. She-

…

As I approached the king's office door with watering eyes, I fisted my hands in an attempt to calm down.

The baby looks so much like her mother. Yes, her hair and eye color are mine, but everything else is Sakura. It's tearing me apart. I can't stand to look at my own damn daughter's face.

It feels like a gaping wound is open in my chest, and I don't foresee the tortuous sensation going away anytime soon.

I couldn't look at Sakura's face at the funeral, either. All I could see was the gut-wrenching acceptance of her fate when Madara and I found her. She looked content with things, and that pisses me off to no end.

What's worse? We don't even know if the Amegakure royals survived or died.

We intercepted Jiraiya, who'd been trying to reach Tsunade, only to stop him and demand he tell us where Sakura was. He refused, too focused on that fucking blonde bitch. Itachi, Izumi, and Kakashi subdued him while Madara and I tracked the scent of the woman's blood to find her moments from death.

The white-haired vampire's currently in chains in the dungeon. I don't give a fuck if he's not personally responsible. He left her alone when she was in that state. My only relief is that we arrived before she passed. If she'd died alone and scared, not knowing if anyone would find the baby quickly enough, I don't doubt I'd have coated the closest village with blood. I'd never be able to return home, that's for sure.

After knocking on the thick wooden door, my father opened it and gestured for me to enter. Inside waited Kakashi and Itachi, who'd been watching Jiraiya and Hidan while the rest of us tried to catch our breath.

I hate Kakashi's guts. I'm sure he already knows it, but I blame him for not telling me that Sakura was pregnant the moment he realized it. We'd have only left a few days sooner, but it could've made a difference between life and death.

"You're not in the right mindset to deal with this right now, but Hidan is demanding to speak to you," Fugaku spoke.

Never in my life have I seen the straight-laced man appear to care about someone other than my mother, not even his children, me included. When we returned home seven days ago, Ino had run outside before we could even get out of the car, already sobbing with a look of horror on her face. She'd heard our thoughts. Everyone else followed her moments later, and when Kakashi explained the situation, the rest of us too upset to do so, my father looked almost as distraught as my mother.

Wordlessly, I nodded, turning to leave, only for Itachi to stop me, "He's extremely agitated. Don't get too close, Brother. You're not in the best state." I glared at the ground as I left without looking back or responding. Everyone tiptoeing around me is pissing me off, too. I'd be just as angry if they didn't try to give me space, though. It doesn't matter how I'm treated.

Downstairs, I walked through the dark hall. When I came to the "t", I paused momentarily, tempted to go left and beat Jiraiya bloody if only to release some of my unending fury, but Hidan yelled suddenly, "Uchiha, I can fucking hear you!"

Tilting my head, I spared the dark hall to my left one last glare before turning right and walking until I came upon the silver-haired vampire. Once in front of him, I leaned against the opposite wall with crossed arms and an expectant face.

His hair was usually slicked back, but it was messy and dirty with dried blood. No matter how much he bleeds or how much we torture him, he just regenerates. Unless we outright tear his heart out or behead him, he will not die.

Hidan frowned as he uncharacteristically lowered his voice, "How'd you fuckin' do it?"

I just stared at him. Perhaps he's finally gone insane after being imprisoned for so long.

The man got to his feet, the chains around his ankles clanking as he tried to reach me and couldn't. "I know Nagato's dead, so tell me how you did it! How'd you bring her back?"

My brow furrowed as I straightened my posture, "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb. Those other idiots were clueless, but I know you aren't. Why'd you hide it from them?"

"I don't know what you're fucking talking about." Honestly, it's not hard to figure out what he's saying, but it makes no sense.

Purple eyes glowed angrily, "Sakura's alive, you asshat! She has been for half a day already! Don't play stupid."

Finally, after days of holding back, I snapped. Trembling angrily, I pinned the irritating man to the ground with a hand tightly around his throat, hissing with glowing eyes, "You're not funny. Shut your goddamn mouth, or I'll cut your tongue out."

He spat in a raspy voice, "Did you really not feel it?"

Loosening my grip, I swallowed and tried to regain some iota of composure, "Sakura's dead. We buried her three days ago. If you so much as speak her name in front of me again, you'll live the rest of your life regretting it; I swear that to you."

After giving him one last harsh glare, I climbed off him and began walking toward the exit, only for him to stop me, "She must be scared, don't you think? Even I'd hate to be buried alive."

Fuck, I want to beat him to a bloody pulp, but I don't know if Madara and I will be affected anymore since the fledgling connecting the three of us is no longer living.

So, I kept walking.

Everyone's upset, but one person other than myself has spoken up about the fact that they blame me for Sakura's death: Naruto Uzumaki.

The same day we returned home, he and Hinata visited, obviously hoping to see her, only to receive the horrible news. The immediate grief on the blonde man's face made my stomach churn. He punched me, and I let him because I deserve it. I couldn't even say anything when he asked why I let something like this happen.

Naruto was able to control his anger during the funeral but vowed to kill me if he ever saw me again.

I really don't care.

Upon returning upstairs, I passed by my mother on my way to the second floor. She rested a hand on my shoulder so I'd stop moving. I closed my eyes because I knew I'd break down if I met her gaze. She's always been able to do that.

"Sweetheart..."

"I'm fine," I mumbled, trying to pull away.

She tightened her grip and remained silent momentarily before softly speaking in that motherly way she sometimes does, "I know you're in pain, Sasuke. You need to get it out before it's too late. Sarada needs you."

Facing her, I took a calming breath before finally meeting her eye with a firm stare, stubbornly saying, "I said I'm fine. I just need some time."

That look, the one that said she knew very well what was going through my head, appeared, and she gently cupped my cheek, "Time won't fix things, sweet boy. I'm sorry."

Tears welled in my eyes as I searched her face. I don't know what to say or do. I just want to lock myself in my room and rot away, but I can't do that.

My teeth gritted when Mom's hand slid from my cheek to the back of my head as she pulled me closer. As soon as she wrapped her other arm around me, the tears overflowed, and I hesitantly returned the embrace. Neither of us said a word. For a long time, I just silently cried, and she rubbed my back.

What she said was true. No amount of time will make things better.

I miss Sakura even though she's everywhere.

Her scent still lingers all around the castle. I find myself catching glimpses of pink in my peripheral, only to look over in hopes it hadn't been a hallucination and having to come to terms with the fact that I'm slowly losing my fucking mind. I can still imagine her curled up in bed beside me, fighting sleep so she could finish the book in her hands. I can still hear the sound of her bare footsteps against the floors because she hates wearing shoes indoors.

But I can't feel her warmth in my arms anymore. I can't see the emotion in her green eyes when she says or does something selfless or passionate that makes me fall that much more in love.

And I never will again because she's dead.

She's gone.