Chapter 119

"So..." Gabriel says awkwardly. "How's, uh... you know, how's life?"

"Fine," Sam says. "You?"

Gabriel shrugs. "I have a nephew from an alternate timeline. I can't deny that that's pretty cool."

"Yeah, really," Sam agrees. "He seems nice enough."

"You know, until 30 seconds ago, I would have agreed with you," Gabriel says, earning a half-hearted chuckle from the hunter. "Really, though, he's a good kid. There's not a bit of Lucifer in him.

"Thank god for that," Sam says.

And then silence.

Gabriel wracks his brain for something to say. He hates this awkward silence between them. He hates that it's even possible to have awkward silence between them. Gabriel has always been good at knowing exactly what to say. That's his thing. It's always been his thing. And, obviously, after being Sam's secret friend-turned-boyfriend for three years, he really never thought they'd run out of things to talk about.

Although, really, it's not that they ran out of things to talk about. They honestly have too much to talk about. They could talk about Jess and Kali and how they turned on each other at the drop of a hat. They could talk about how they both hate Lucifer with a burning — no pun intended — passion. They could talk about everything they've been through, and how they managed to get through it together. There's just no good way to approach any of it.

Fortunately, Sam eventually steps in with, "So, I see you and Lucifer are on speaking terms again."

Gabriel raises an eyebrow. Is that really what it looked like? No wonder Sam looks like he's rather be anywhere but here. If he thinks Gabriel could forgive Lucifer for literally murdering his girlfriend of thousands of years, but can't get over Sam wanting to get back with his ex... Yeah, maybe that's something he should explain away.

"Lucifer and I both want to get out of here, and we both know Jack is our only shot," Gabriel says cautiously, trying really hard not to make this any worse than it already is. "As much as I don't want to do this with Lucifer, I know he wouldn't let me have Jack to myself, and I sure as hell wouldn't trust the two of them alone."

"So you're, what? Unfortunately allies?"

"I guess," Gabriel says. "Until we get out of here, at least, and I get to kill him like I should have done years ago."

Sam's eyes widen at that. "You're going to kill him?"

Gabriel scoffs. "Uh, yeah, I'm gonna kill him. He didn't think twice about killing Kali. Or Jess." He probably shouldn't make this all about his ex girlfriend, at least while talking to his ex boyfriend.

"But you've tried to kill him before," Sam reminds him. "That's what got you killed the last time. Why do you think it'll be any different this time?"

"It might not be," Gabriel says. "I don't care. I mean, everyone I've ever loved either died or moved on without me, and being the trickster sounds a lot less fun now that everyone in the supernatural realm knows who I really am."

Sam scoffs. "So that's it? You're just throwing in the towel?"

"If that's how you want to see it, then sure," Gabriel says. "Look, Sam, I have been alive for a very, very long time, and within the last decade, Lucifer has managed to take away every single thing that made my life worth living. The prospect of revenge is really the only thing I've got going for me right now."

Sam doesn't speak for a moment, and when he does, he doesn't try to comfort him, and he doesn't try to talk him out of it. Instead, he just asks, "Gabriel, can I be brutally honestly for a second?"

"Yes?" Gabriel says uncertainly.

"You kind of brought this on yourself."

Gabriel scoffs. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You didn't have to be alone," Sam says. "Michael would have talked to you. Charlie would have talked to you. Dean and Castiel tried to talk to you. I know you were upset about Kali; trust me, I felt the same way with Jess. Lucifer may have killed them, but you're the one that decided to shut everyone out, not him."

Obviously, Gabriel doesn't say that, though. They may not be having the civil of conversations right now, what with Sam pretty much blaming all Gabriel's problems on himself, but, at things considered, it's going fairly well. He probably shouldn't ruin it.

But that's all he can think to say, so he doesn't say anything, which also doesn't really help with not ruining their mostly civil conversation.

Unfortunately, Sam doesn't seem to know what to say, either, so it gets awkwardly quiet very quickly.

After a long pause, Sam just says, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Gabriel gives a short, almost bitter laugh. "You're not wrong." He's definitely not qualified to be giving advice on the subject, but he's still not wrong.

"Not about that," Sam says. "I'm not going to apologise for being right."

Gabriel scoffs. Wow, he's a little cocky right now, huh?

"I'm just sorry about how all this went down," Sam says. "We had a good thing going. I'm sorry I threw that away."

Gabriel offers him a small smile. "Well, live and learn, I guess."

"Now, instead of being brutally honest, can I be awkwardly honest instead?"

"I'm kind of scared to know where this is going," Gabriel says, "but sure, I guess."

"I don't like where we left things," Sam tells him. "And I know you said we weren't getting back together, and I'm not asking to, but do you want to try to be friends again?"

Gabriel smiles. "I'd like that very much."