Chapter 120

Lucifer doesn't hate Sam.

In fact, he actually really likes Sam.

But Sam doesn't want to see him, and Lucifer knows that. He made it pretty obvious. Lucifer may literally be the devil, but there are limits to the people he's willing to antagonize, and Sam has slowly made it off the list. So, as soon as Sam stepped into the garage, Lucifer peaced out.

There are three possibilities for what could happen next. The first one, and the most likely, is that Sam will leave immediately, because he probably doesn't want to talk to Gabriel, either. There's no harm done, and Lucifer will just get out of Sam's way and head back to the bunker.

The second is that he will talk to Gabriel, and Jack will take the cue to leave, and Lucifer will catch up with him. That's probably the best case scenario. Whatever happens with Sam and Gabriel doesn't matter, mostly because he already knows it won't be much, but he'll get some quality bonding time with his son.

And the third scenario is that Sam and Gabriel will talk, Jack won't take the cue to leave, and Lucifer will be all alone. Granted, it will give him the opportunity to daydream about punching Gabriel in the face for stealing both Sam and Jack, but that's not much of a consolation prize.

So, with three potential scenarios already planned out, it can't be overstated the surprise he feels when the outcome of this situation is none of these things. Instead, as he's pacing through the same few halls of the bunker over and over, he almost walks straight into Jo.

"Oh, sorry," Lucifer says absentmindedly before turning around to pace the other way.

"That's it?" Jo says incredulously.

Ordinarily, Lucifer would just keep walking and ignore her, but he's too taken aback by that response to process that that would be the right thing to do. He turns around to look at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"All I get is a 'sorry'?"

Lucifer raises an eyebrow. "Are you expecting me to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness or something?" He didn't even technically walk into her. What's her deal?

"No, actually, I was expecting the opposite," she says. "You just to me."

"Yeah, that's typically what people do when they almost walk into someone," Lucifer says. "They're usually not even sorry. It's just a formality or whatever."

"You don't apologize to anyone, for anything," Jo reminds him. "And you definitely don't apologize to ."

Lucifer just stares at her blankly for a few moments, hoping she'll elaborate, because he has no idea what she's complaining about. When she doesn't say anything, he says, "I'm vaguely aware that something I'm doing is bothering you, but I'm not entirely sure what it is or why it is."

"It's just... every time we'd see each other in the hallway for months, you'd make some quip or sarcastic remark or start a fight or whatever," she says. "It was weird enough once you started ignoring me, especially before I knew it was because you made some peace treaty with same or something, but you actually just said something to me that rude."

Lucifer scowls at Sam's name, but he knows he probably shouldn't tell her not to use it, or she's going to bring him up again on purpose, just to piss him off. Instead, he focuses on the actual topic at hand. "Look, Jo, I'm just trying not to get involved in any drama. If you're here to start any, start it with someone else, will you?"

Jo scoffs. "What's gotten into you lately?"

"We are to getting out of this building," Lucifer says. "If Chuck doesn't find us entertaining enough, he probably won't lock us up again once Jack busts us out, and that's all I really care about right now."

"Jack is going to break us out?" Jo repeats, a smile growing on her face.

"He's going to try," Lucifer says. "But he's also a kid, and teaching a kid to overpower God is not an exact science."

"But you think he can do it?" Jo says eagerly.

"Not yet," Lucifer says. "But give it a few weeks."

Jo beams. "I hope to god you're not fucking with me right now."

"I genuinely do not know how to make it any clearer that I am not going to fuck around with you anymore," Lucifer deadpans.

"Well, where's the kid now?" Jo asks.

"I don't think that's important," Lucifer says. Even if there wasn't a chance that Jack was still in the same room as Sam, he wouldn't want to bring her to their secret hiding place. It hadn't occurred to him until now that she enjoyed their fights as much as he used to, and he's not risking her interrupting their lessons for a brief argument.

"No, actually, it kinda is," Jo says. "The whole reason I'm over here is actually because I was looking for Jack."

"Wait, what?" Lucifer raises an eyebrow. "Why are you looking for Jack?"

"Well, Gabriel told us he disappeared, and Dean was getting really impatient waiting to find out if he reappeared," Jo explains. "He, Sam, and Cas were all gonna look for him, so Michael and I volunteered to help speed it up a little. And good thing, too, because I don't think any of them would have realized you hid him away."

That explains why Sam was in the garage. There'd be no other reason to go there. It's not like they can drive out of the bunker — though that does have him wondering what would happen if he tried. It makes a lot more sense now that he knows Sam was actually looking for someone.

Without thinking about it, Lucifer tells her, "Oh, no, Sam already found him."

"He did?" Jo pauses. "Wait. How do you know that?"

"How do I even know where he was?" Lucifer counters. "I was there."

"And now you're not," she remarks. "What, for you ditch the kid as soon as you saw Sam? That's a little rude, don't you think?"

Lucifer balls his hands into fists, but otherwise, he does his best to pretend that didn't get to him. He answers it like a normal question. "I didn't 'ditch' the kid. I left him with Gabriel. The kid likes him."

"So, basically, you're saying you dipped as soon as you saw Sam but don't have the guts to admit it."

Lucifer's eyes flare red, almost as a reflex. He's usually able to derail uncomfortable conversations by scaring the shit out of people. Unfortunately, that's not exactly the version of himself that he's trying to be anymore, so he lets his eyes fade back into their typical icy blue.

Jo flinched at the initial change in color, but otherwise, she seems unphased by him. Hell, she almost looks amused. He pretty much just proved her right, after all.

Lucifer sighs. "Look, Jo, just... leave me alone."

He starts walks away, but, unfortunately, Jo doesn't seem to understand that that means the conversation is over, because she follows him.

"Oh, come on," she says with a groan. "Sam killed all the fun in you."

"Then take that up with him."

"You're really on a no-fighting kick, huh?"

"Finally picking up on that, are you?"

"Fighting with people is all you ever do, though," she says. "What are you gonna go with yourself now?"

"Well, what I'd to do is go find my son," he says. "Unfortunately, it looks like what I going to do is continuously tell you that I'm not going to fight with you until you get it through your thick skull that I don't care about you anymore."

Jo grins. "That sounds a little more like you."

Lucifer stops walking, and Jo stops next to him, looking up at him expectantly.

"What do you want from me, Jo?" he asks. "Seriously. There are so many other people for you to be talking to right now. Michael, your mom, the Winchesters... Why do you insist on bothering me?"

"Well, because..."

Lucifer crosses his arms, waiting for an answer."

"Because everyone else is boring, I guess," she says finally.

Lucifer scoffs. "You can't be serious. Your own boyfriend is too boring for you, but I'm not?"

"It's not that he himself is boring," she says. "But we've been stuck in the bunker for so long, there's nothing to do. At least you usually give me something to work with."

"And, from now on, it looks like I'm just as boring as the rest of them," Lucifer says. "You might as well be bored with someone who wants you around."

"But you're as boring," she says.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm just as boring."

"But you're not," she insists. "Your idea is boring is more entertaining than anyone else's idea of fun."

Lucifer raises an eyebrow. The rest of the bunker must be boring themselves to pieces if the fun one.

"I guess it sucks to be you then, doesn't it?" Lucifer says finally. "I'm not here to entertain you. In fact, I'm trying to entertain anyone right now, Chuck specifically, and you and I both know he has some weird obsession with seeing us together. If you want a shot at getting out of here any time soon, it's probably in both of our best interests to leave each other alone."

Jo nods slowly. "Okay. You're right." She nods once as a goodbye of sorts. "Good luck getting us out."

But then they find themselves in Jo's room by Jo doing of their own, and it becomes clear that Chuck has no intention of letting Lucifer out of this conversation that easily.