Chapter 14

Out from the darkness, I faced Cliff. He stood in the rain, soaking wet and without an umbrella. I wanted to run to him and give him warmth. He was probably feeling so cold now. And he might get sick later. Still, I found myself holding back.

"What are you doing here?" I asked callously.

I tried my best to show no emotions on my face. I recounted all the days he ignored me. Well, what does he want from me now?

He took a few steps forward and stopped in front of me. My heart ached when I saw the weary look on his face. He looked exhausted. And his sad eyes exuded a painful longing as he looked back at me.

I did not have the guts to stare straight at him. So I transfixed my gaze to the side. Then clenched my teeth and breathed in deeply to control my temper.

"I-I just want to make sure... that y-you get home well," he answered slowly.

I turned my head to face him again. And by the flickering streetlight overhead, I saw that he was staring at me very intently. Suddenly, I could not find the proper words to say. I felt like a melting candle. What should I really say to him?

There was a moment of silence between us. I gasped when he suddenly ran towards me. Then he abruptly pulled me close and hugged me so tight. I almost could not breathe in his embrace.

"Por favor, amor. Por favor háblame (Please, love. Please talk to me)," he whispered, his voice full of emotions. But I could not understand a word he said.

After a second, he whispered emotionally again. This time, I understood every word. And what he said instantly caused tears to form in my eyes.

"Please, don't do this to me. Can't you see that I'm hurting? I'm tired of this game. But I don't wanna let you go, Fiona."

There was weariness in his hoarse voice. And his shoulders shook a little, an obvious indication that he was inaudibly weeping. Still locked in his tight embrace, I felt his pain through the fast drumming of his heartbeat. I bit my lower lip to fight back my tears from falling.

"I just wanted you to be mine. But how come you don't want me, Fiona?" he said.

His words burned through me like a blazing fire. I felt the icy numbness in my cold heart slowly melting away. Then, along with the pouring rain, tears finally rolled down my cheeks and fell to the wet pavement below.

My fast-beating heart drowned out all the words that I wanted to say. So I bent my head up and looked at the dark sky. I silently thanked the rain for bringing him back to me.

My hands slowly rose and I lost hold of the umbrella. I closed my eyes as the object fell to the ground with a slight thud. The heavy rain dripped all over us, masking my tears with every drop.

I hugged Cliff back, tightly and emotionally. Then I sobbed painfully. I could not stop myself from weeping anymore. God, how much I missed him! And I felt so sorry for hurting and disappointing him so much. But how could I not find the strength to say it at that moment?

Slowly, he released me from his embrace. Then he cupped my face with both hands and looked straight into my eyes. His loving gaze pierced through my very soul. My hands remained at his sides as I looked back at him. I bet he saw the deep longing in my eyes.

A second later, his mouth slowly curved into a smile. The dark night seemed to light up when I saw his dimpled smile again — the kind of smile that I knew was only for me. So I smiled back at him.

"Now there are only two things that could separate us. It's either you'll fall in love with someone else. Or I'll die. Te quiero (I love you). Te extraño tanto, mi amor (I miss you so, my love)," he whispered.

Then, without another word, he bent down and claimed my quivering lips with his. I kissed him back with the same eagerness and torrid passion.

I knew he was dead serious that very moment. Every word he said expressed what he truly felt about me. But his last statement brought shivers down my spine. For some reason, it sounded haunting to me. I could not explain why, though. Probably because I was lost in the passion that we both shared in our kiss.

We were almost out of breath when he finally released my lips. Then he pulled me closer and wrapped me in his tight embrace again.

I longed to tell him how much I missed him but no words came out of my mouth. I never really knew how it was to care like this before. I did not know what to do. I did not know what to say. Or even how to say it.

So I transfixed my gaze to the concrete wall a short distance away from us. There I saw two lovely silhouettes so close together. It was as if we were marked for each other on that stone wall. It put a genuine smile on my face.

"Let's get inside, bella. We'll both get sick at this rate," he said, chuckling as he released me from his arms. He entwined his hands with mine and then pulled me along as he walked to my apartment.

The moment we got inside, he immediately held my waist and pushed my back against the door. I gasped in surprise. Then his head bent down and his lips locked over mine. My hands automatically rose to comb through his hair.

Then I felt his hot tongue impatiently forcing its way into my mouth. My lips eagerly parted in response to his burning passion. And then his tongue finally made its way and hungrily claimed mine, driving me further into insanity.

He lingered inside my mouth until I felt myself gasping for air. Then, with a slow and fluid motion, his tongue slid out of my mouth and his lips moved away. I moaned in protest, wanting to taste him in my mouth again. But he bent down, shoved my head aside, and showered my neck with his passionate kisses.

"Oh, Cliff..." I moaned. I wanted this. I wanted him. So much, it hurts!

Cliff's kisses traveled expertly. His tongue maneuvered on the skin just below my ear where my pulse was frantically beating. It was one of those parts where I was most sensitive. And he knew it so well. A few moans escaped my mouth as he kissed, licked, sucked, and subtly bit on my skin.

I felt his other hand sliding downwards. My pulse raced even more and I moaned a bit louder. His hand stopped and cupped the aching curve between my thighs. He let it linger there, slowly pressing and caressing over my garment. I whimpered with closed eyes and eager responses.

And then, as I felt myself being driven to the edge of passion, he suddenly stopped. He rested his hands on my hips. I slowly opened my eyes. I found him staring at me with an amused expression.

"Why did you stop?" I asked him, breathless and puzzled.

He laughed a bit and rested his forehead over mine.

"We were both drenched in the rain. You might get sick again. So, bella, we need to take a warm bath first," he said.

"We?" I asked.

My brow raised and my lips curved into a half-smile.

"Yes, we. We'll take a nice warm bath… you and me… together," he said and winked. His eyes sparkled with excitement.

Disappointed that he left me hanging, I grabbed onto the collar of his shirt to tease him. Actually, I wanted to refuse because I was not ready yet for a kinky scene like that. But it seemed like he was thrilled by his suggestion.

"Oh, come on! I'm soaking in rainwater. And I'm already twice as wet. Can we just skip the bathing part?" I said.

"Don't push it. Your health comes first, bella. Besides, I plan to make you thrice as wet in the bath," he said and winked at me again.

My protest immediately subsided. I smiled at his kinky statement. But then a crazy idea popped into my head. How dare you left me hanging! Well then, let's see how you hold up...

I circled behind him. He was surprised when I pushed him against the door. Then, without any warning, I kissed him — hot and wild. My hand touched his chest and slowly slid downwards to rub his manhood.

"Oh, bella," he moaned and whispered, "¿Qué estás hacienda (What are you doing)?"

I continued to kiss and touch him until I felt his growing hardness. And then I heavily pressed both my hands on his chest. Abruptly, I stopped my kiss, too. Then I whispered, "Go take a bath by yourself!"

Speechless and breathless, he just stared at me.

Without another word and before he even moved a muscle, I ran upstairs to the bathroom and immediately locked the door.

"Fiona!" I heard him call out from downstairs. I did not answer. I just laughed out loud.

Just like that, I comfortably bathed without him. Haha! Now we're even!

A couple of weeks later, a thing puzzled me. I had not seen Cliff on campus for over a week now. I called his phone but I was always redirected to his voicemail. I tried to check his apartment a few times but I never saw him there. He never stopped by my apartment either.

I sat quietly next to my kitchen table. My thoughts were filled with questions about Cliff's whereabouts. Did he just go off somewhere without even telling me firsthand? Worried, I decided to call the number he gave me before. It was his family's house phone in Alexandria.

"Castellanos residence. How may I help you?" asked the person from the other line.

I immediately recognized the voice of Cliff's mom, Caitlyn.

"Hi, Caitlyn. It's me, Fiona," I said.

I heard her excited gasp.

"Oh my! Fiona, dear! How have you been?" she asked.

"I'm good. Thank you. And how are you, too?" I replied.

"Oh, we're doing great. We miss you back here. So glad to hear from you," she said.

"Yeah, me too... uhm... I just called to ask if... uhm... if you got any news of Cliff? I haven't seen or heard from him for days now," I said awkwardly.

"Oh, that guy didn't tell you? He's always been like that. But don't worry, dear, he's fine," she said, chuckling a bit.

Her voice was cheerful. But one thing did not escape me. I sensed in her words that she was apprehensive to tell me where Cliff really was, or why he suddenly disappeared. I wanted answers but, not wanting to appear rude, I did not probe any further.

"Uhm, Caitlyn, if it's not too much to ask... Please, may I just know when he's coming back?" I asked politely.

"Sorry, dear. I have no idea when. But I got a feeling he'll be back real soon. I promise I'll tell him you called. He'll probably want to call you back as soon as possible," she said.

"Okay. That will mean a lot to me. Thank you so much, Caitlyn, I appreciate it," I said.

We bid each other goodbye then I let her end the call. I sighed as I put my phone down on the table.

"Maybe he's planning to surprise you again with something. Oh, how romantic of him," Sidney said.

She had her hands under her chin as she stared dreamily into space. She was clearly daydreaming!

We huddled in the campus park that afternoon. I told my girl friends about Cliff's sudden disappearing act. Clearly, though, they were not helping me ease my troubled mind at all. And so, I just rolled my eyes at Sidney's statement.

"Maybe it's a family problem and they're not yet ready to talk about it with you," Madison said.

I shrugged. Somehow, she had a point. Maybe that was what really happened.

"Maybe he found some other señorita and decided to elope," Hillary said.

Madison immediately snapped at her. Sidney suppressed a giggle. I shook my head and raised my hands in surrender. I'm gonna go nuts with these crazies!

"You guys are totally NOT helping my state of mind," I said.

I grabbed my phone and tried calling Cliff's number again. And, like my previous dozen calls, I was redirected to his voicemail. Ugh! Where the hell are you?!

It bothered me because I longed for him. I assumed there must be something wrong, and that I should understand him. I still believed that he would come back soon.

But I missed him terribly! So I decided that when he gets back... I'll tell him how I really feel about him! Finally! And this time, I promise I'll be braver.

That night, I could not sleep at all. I tossed and turned uncomfortably on the bed. Torn between being worried and getting frustrated. Why did he not even tell me where he was going? And why did he not bother to call at all?

I got up from the bed and stood by the window. I stared blankly into nothingness. And, as if to answer my silent prayer, I heard the shrill ringing of my phone.

I dashed to the bedside table and hysterically grabbed my phone. An unknown overseas number showed on the caller ID. Frowning, I swiped on the screen to answer the call. My heart leapt when I heard a familiar voice on the other line.

"Buenas noches, bella (Good evening, beautiful)! Did I wake you up?" he asked.

"Cliff! Damn it! Where the hell are you?" I immediately asked.

"Did you miss me?" he asked back.

"Y-yes, I do... B-but where are you?" I insisted asking, trying to calm myself.

"I miss you, too, señorita," he said.

I sighed heavily in a mixture of disappointment and longing. He just laughed on the other line.

"Don't get angry, mi amor (my love). I'm sorry for not being able to call sooner. I left in such a hurry that I forgot to bring my phone with me. I was on an emergency flight back to Barcelona...

"Believe me, it was such short notice. I didn't have the chance to tell you. I just bought a new phone that's why I'm able to call you now. I miss you so bad. I'm glad to hear your voice again," he said.

"I-I was worried... I thought something happened to you. I thought... I thought you were never coming back to me," I said.

My voice broke as I sobbed uncontrollably. Just the mere thought of it made me feel like my world was crashing down. If it ever happens, I think I won't be able to handle the pain. The pain of not seeing Cliff again!

"I know, bella... I'm really sorry," he said, sounding apologetic.

"So what happened? What made you leave so suddenly?" I asked.

Cliff heaved a sigh before he spoke.

"My brother got into a huge fight and was sent to prison. My dad's here, trying to fix the mess. I accompanied him so I could convince my brother to come with us back to Louisiana once the case is settled. Turns out things are more complicated here than we initially thought. But my uncle said he'll take care of everything. He's my brother's lawyer and he's a good one," he said.

"When are you coming back?"

"Probably in three days. We're almost done here. Just repacking things and checking if everything's really in order. Travel time from here to there is just fifteen hours more or less. I'll be able to kiss you again in no time."

"Well, come back safely. There's something I need to tell you."

"You can tell me now, bella. I got plenty of time to talk to you tonight."

"N-no, I... Uhm, I-I can't talk about it on the phone. I'll just wait for your return."

He paused for a bit.

"Do we have a problem, love?" he asked, sounding worried.

"Oh, no, we don't. Don't worry, it's... it's nothing like that," I said.

He heaved a sigh of relief. Then he laughed a bit.

"Okay, save it for my return then," he said.

"Let's go for a tour when you're back. I really miss annoying you," I said, laughing lightheartedly.

"If you can travel far with me, where do you want to go?" he asked.

I thought for a short while.

"There... in Barcelona," I answered.

"Really? Why?" he asked further.

"Well, b-because... Oh, it's... it's nothing. Maybe I just wanna see the place where you grew up," I said.

"You really missed me, huh! It's a deal then. One day soon, we'll be here on a date, I promise. I'll show you the place where I grew up," he said.

"Really? I'll remember that, and I'll ask you for it one of these days," I said.

He laughed on the other line.

The night went on. We talked about a bunch of things, other than the words I so wanted to tell him. He told me everything that happened during his trip to Barcelona. And I talked to him about funny things that occurred on campus during his absence.

"Bella?" he suddenly called out amidst our laughter.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Let's spend the rest of our lives together, shall we?" he said.

I was speechless for a second there. Did he just propose to me over the phone?

I shrugged the sentiment aside. He could not be THAT serious. Besides, we did not even have a label yet. He probably just said that because he missed me so much. Well, in that case, the feeling was mutual. So, I answered, "Uh, yeah. Sure! Why not? I'd like that!"

Cliff laughed heartily. "Te quiero, cariño (I love you, darling). I cannot wait to see you again. I miss you so much! And I want to kiss and touch you so bad. Oh, this distance is killing me!"

"But I go crazy from time to time. And I'll always get on your nerves. Are you sure you'd want that for the rest of your life?" I joked. The mood was getting serious. I had to lighten the conversation or else I would miss him even more.

He burst into laughter. "I'm positive I can live with all that."

Past midnight and we were still talking to each other over the phone. I did not even notice how I dozed off to sleep while he was busy talking on the other line.

I woke up the next morning with my phone still in my hand. I swiped the screen to check for notifications. I smiled when I saw two text messages from Cliff's overseas number.

"Wish I was there ryt now 2 let u sleep on my chest. Gudnyt, bella," read the first text message.

"3 days more, I'll b back, luv. We'll talk then," read the second text message.

________________________

Unspoken words. Soundless tears. Selfish emotions. Pride. And the feelings that I should have recognized. These were lessons I used to ignore. Until Cliff came into my life. Like a gentle rainfall, he turned my harsh, uncaring winter into a nurturing, blossoming spring. Oh, how I longed to be sheltered in his embrace again!

________________________

My mind shifted back to the present upon hearing the shrill ringing of my phone. I faced the center where I placed the gadget a short while ago. I sincerely hoped that it was the call I had long been expecting.

It was almost two weeks now since I last heard from Cliff. I missed him terribly! And I struggled to find an explanation for the weird uneasiness that I had been feeling. Was it only because I missed him so much? Or was there something else that I was supposed to be uneasy about?

Rain fell heavily in nighttime Louisiana as I traversed the dark apartment to get my phone. I did not bother to turn on the light. My thoughts were too preoccupied to even care how utterly dark, cold, and gloomy the entire place was at the moment.

My shivering hands reached for my phone. I reluctantly swiped on the screen. An unknown number showed up on the caller ID. It was different from the one that Cliff used overseas when he called a few days ago.

I breathed in deeply as I held the phone against my ear.