Uncertainty vs Hope

BRONGG BRONGGĢ

Here we go

BRONGG BRONGG

Alright Moon, what you gonna do to get through the day this time?

BRONGGG BRONGGG

I force my lenses open to start the day.

My only motivation being to get down to the Commence Lounge as quick as possible so that these bells can shut up.

I mean seriously, why can't they just sense that we started getting ready then leave us alone?

As I step into the hygiene chamber I ponder the day ahead.

That man that came for the presentation yesterday said he'll be back at some point for logistics.

I'll probably have to look into the functionality a bit more. Test some stuff out, do some tweaking.

They probably gonna have me on car repair for a bit.

Oh wait...I think I have a shorter shift today.

Shorter work day equals build and tune day.

It's required for every civilian to have days and times designated to building and tuning so we stay at optimal functional shape and capability. Otherwise, how can the people of Harahdoh truly adhere to the divine system of the city.

(according to every minister this city has ever had).

I can't complain, though. I actually enjoy the sensations of building and tuning.

The feeling of the liquid inside me gradually getting warmer.

My sustainer pounding harder.

Feeling the intensified motions of my *movement bands.

It's a special kind of rush.

Which is why I often find myself squeezing in extra sessions when I feel stuck and need something to help me finish the day or get through the bland routine.

As we stand in our rows in the Commence Lounge and wait to be transported to the Fuel Consumption Area, I anticipate how I can enhance the building and tuning experience.

Should I extract more joules of fuel energy and save it for later?

Inspection Complete: Proceed to Fuel Consumption Area

Should I inject more of the mind altering chemicals?

Mmm nah, my processor will release those same chemicals through my system anyway.

I take my seat at the long silver table and await the first meal of the day.

Prepare to be served.

The metallic grabbers reach down and place a big, hearty bowl of oatmeal topped with a variation if berries before me.

"How am I supposed to eat all this? I'm not even that hungry," I mumble quietly to myself.

The metallic grabbers then reach down to place a protein shake before me.

The girl across from me glances at my breakfast as she scoops into her medium sized bowl of yogurt and granola.

"Somebody didn't eat much yesterday", she lightly chuckles.

That's right. The only thing I had was that bowl of fruit and toast. I didn't get lunch at work and I snuck my food to the girls around me at dinner time.

I was too pre-occupied with thoughts of that girl from that room I didn't even feel like eating.

Our appetites can really fool us, huh?

'Cause when I was passing pieces of my dinner to the other girls they were all like,

"Oh my God, Moon you have no idea how hungry I am, you're a lifesaver" blah blah blah....but the fuel sensors clearly sensed that they didn't need a big meal.

Just like now, I don't feel I need to eat all this but I guess my fuel hold and my system is saying something else through these sensors.

I grab my spoon and scoop into my bowl.

Maybe if I pre-occupy myself with thoughts of that girl my day will fly by again.

******

Everytime I step into Power Palace I get motivated. I don't know if it's the upbeat music, the LED lights on every floor creating a different atmosphere or just the plain fact that I'm about to get some adrenaline.

I got my steel emulating work out uniform on, wearing the bra and shorts variation with the running shoes and my veil secured into a ponytail.

I step onto the determination scale at the entrance to see what type of activities I need for today.

*Boop Boop Boop*

Moon Castillo

*Boop Boop Boop*

1 Mile Run

Weighted Deadlifts

Hm, fair enough.

I head for the cardio room just down the hall with the treadmills, ellipticals and stationary bikes.

I have the room to myself.

YESSS.

I shake myself out a bit, then step onto the treadmill and select level 1 to begin walking.

The striking dark blue light fills the room and I feel myself getting in the zone.

I kick it up to level 3.

I move my walk rods faster while still holding onto the rails.

If only I could just step into a midnight blue room, hop on a machine and just step my way out of here.

I feel my movement bands warming and loosening up. I increase the level to number 5.

I could press a button and step my way to wherever that girl lives.

I pick up the pace and maintain a light jog. I feel the heat generating inside me.

I wouldn't even have to know where she lives. I could just tell the machine who I want to see and it would just lead me there. It would automatically match the person with the location.

I select level 7 and begin running.

I'm gonna make a machine like that someday.

I'll figure it out.

I maintain a steady pace.

I engage my reach rods and pump them back and forth.

I increase the level to 9.

The beat of my sustainer coursing through my wires intensifies.

The heat spreads to every part of me.

My energy grows as my movement bands feel the growing pressure and my sustainer beats hard enough for me to not just feel, but hear.

I'm activated.

I press level 10.

I feel the adrenaline pushing my systems to further potential.

The sound of my sustainer overpowers the music around me.

My breath grows heavy as my movements grow swifter with power and speed.

This is what blasting off feels like.

Pure life.

I think I can go at least 5 more minutes at this speed, but I wanna hit my peak.

I press level 11 and push to last another minute.

I'm at my top speed.

*Vision fades to orange*

"So what, you're just gonna stare into space and act like you don't hear me?"

Her angry tone and furied lenses snapped me out of my anxiety stricken imagination and back into her presence.

"S-sorry I was just-"

"Avoiding? Plotting your next gettaway? Please Moon, I would love to know what you were just doing because it seems to be taking alot of your attention" she interrupts, clearly frustrated.

"Whoa, what? Why you gotta say it like that?" I say slightly chuckling at her random interrogation, "You know what, forget it. I can't deal with this right now".

"You can't deal with this or you can't deal with me?!" she yells now, staring intently into my lenses. Everytime she does this I know she 's not playing around and if even a smirk comes across my face, it's a wrap. She's a strong woman. She never hesitates to challenge me - or anyone for that matter - but I can tell just by looking into her lenses that she's afraid of what my answer will be.

"Well, right now I guess I can't deal with either." I say, slightly under my breath as I break visual contact and walk to towards our living room.

"Of course. There's probably a million things going on in the magic mind of Moon that are far more important than whatever goes on between us. We've only been together for, I dont know, two whole years now! Its not like anything can get in the way of-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT SO JUST LEAVE IT ALONE!"

"I-......I was being sarcastic" she says softly, looking shocked and straight faced, "baby, I just wanna know what's wrong. What's going on with you?"

My anxiety has reached its peak and I feel a sense of doom rushing through me.

"Its just......how long......how long do you really think I can stay here?! You got me for two years Aroha! TWO YEARS!" I say between deep breaths,"but that's the thing...... I didn't come to this planet just to be the love of your life."

"Alright, I get that! I just don't see why you have to always be on the go as if you don't have time."

I take a deep breath in to prepare myself to say out loud what has been eating away at me since I came to this world,

"I don't know when my time here will be up."

Aroha's face turns to stone. I can tell she is overcome by shock but I'm not sure if it's because she was suprised that my days on Earth were numbered or if she's suprised that I actually said it out loud. I turn my gaze to the ground. I can never look at her for too long when she gets intense like this. It starts to feel like she passing her emotions on to me and I'm not into that shit. I have enough intensity of my own right now.

Aroha clears her throat, then nervously chuckles, "You broke free from Mechanon. You won, they lost end of story! Your free to live on Earth until the day you die....unless you're trying to tell me-"

"No.....well, I don't know ..... I mean I don't know what they would do if they found me. I don't know if they would try to end my life or take control of it again. I just know that it would not end with me staying on Earth....or with you."

Aroha looks away, confused, worried and angry all at once. She clearly needs a moment to process this. She slowly makes her way over to the couch at the end of our living room.

"I don't get where this is coming from. I mean, do you even know if these people are after you?"

"Well, no but after what they did to my Mom when she was just getting close to finding the truth, I can't help but be paranoid. I made sure they knew I found out the truth before I left so the idea of them letting me go with no retaliation......damn near impossible. You really think me beating there asses before escaping is enough? Ha! They have way more to lose and they will fight to the ends of Mechanon to make sure they win. Even if that means coming to Earth. "

Frustration spreads over Aroha's face as her lenses start to water.

"You know, I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about that hapening before. Hell, its been one of my biggest fears for the last two years."

Damn. I hate that she's been feeling this paranoia, too. This definite feeling of being threatened while not even knowing for sure if the threat will be carried out. This ongoing uncertainty of something that both of us are too scared to get clarification of. I kneel down in front of her and place one grabber on her lap while gently stroking her veil with the other as she continues to fight her tears.

"Look, that's why I have to give my all while I'm here. I have to explore, find myself, figure out the parts of me that they tried to suppress. I have to understand this life and do everything I was meant to do before they try to take me out."

''Right. And if they come for you then you'll fight them and you'll win.....again."

"Well, I don't about all that but-"

"You did it before, so you can do it again. I mean if you could buss their asses by yourself imagine what you could do with my help."

I can't help but grin. Her fighting spirit always is even more beautiful when she uses it to defend me. Especially since I know it's not all talk, she's for real about her's. I guess sometimes it slips my mind how her determination can give me hope when I need it most.

"Im not sure I would want you in that kind of danger, babe" I say jokingly.

"Well it wouldn't just be me we could get Fuse, Maverick, Rashaad" she pauses, "anyone else know about Mechanon?"

"Aroha!" I say now with a full blown smile on my face.

"What?!" She places her grabbers on the sides of my face, "Listen, I don't care what kind of gadgets, lasers, robots or whatever the fuck they have! Nobody is taking you away from here. You were meant have real life and we were meant to last."

*Vision fades to orange*

"Moon! Can you hear me!"

A deep, hoarse voice yells near me. I can feel their breath on my face, smells like blueberry flavored candy. I feel a banging on the ground, near both sides of my head. I'm not seeing anything. I can't tell if my lenses are open or closed. All I see is the colour orange.

"She's sweating. What the fuck happened?"

The person sounds like they're talking under their breath now.

I feel a touch on my chest.

"Her sustainer's still beating....pounding, actually. I guess she doesn't need CPR."

Damn right I don't!

I hear steps against the floor.

The sound seems to be getting distant.

Closer again.

*WHOOSH*

I instantly suck air - and water? - in.

I cough uncontrollably.

I spring myself up into a sitting position as I try to repair my breathing and gain some control.

A hand reaches towards me with a cup of water. I snatch it and take quick sips.

My vision is normal again. I look around and see that I am still at Power Palace.

"When did I get on the floor?" I ask myself quietly.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing?"

I look up - still lightly coughing and trying to catch my breath - and see Marco, the deized, dark-skinned construction worker that I usually see around town and at Power Palace. Funny, I know who he is and what he does but I don't think I've ever talked to him before.

"I came in to get a cardio session in and I saw you laying on the floor a few feet from the treadmill. It was still running when I found you so I'm assuming you fell off and knocked out or something?"

He says this as if I'm supposed to confirm.

I remember fading out while I was running.

I remember my vision turning orange.

Next thing after that, I was in that house with....

Aroha

"Her name is Aroha!" I gasp to myself.

"Huh?" Marco's face screwed in confusion and concern. Poor guy probably thinks I hit my head and lost my senses.

I must have fell off the treadmill when my vision faded.

Wait, but then how did I get to that house and back here again?

"Uh, Moon? Maybe you should get checked out or something. Make sure you have no injuries, or even a concussion."

How could I take such a fall and not be sore?

"Thanks man, but I really don't think I need to. I actually feel fine. I don't feel in pain at all, actually".

Marco walks up to me and crouches down to my level.

"You know, don't have to be a trooper Moon. It's okay if you got hurt" he says with a pitiful grin.

Is this guy serious right now?

"Look, I see it all the time in here. People push themselves way too hard and they end up passing out or injuring themselves its nothing to be ashamed of,"

He continues, looking legitimately concerned,

"But either way, you should still get checked out. Falling off a treadmill is very serious. I'm sure you wouldn't want something like a concussion getting in the way of your work."

Hmm, that's a good point.

"Noted" I respond, making an effort to grin nicely.

I bend my walk rods and push my upper body forward in an effort to get myself on all fours before standing up.

Marco jumps to my aid and holds one of my reach rods and grabs my mid section to support me.

Although I honestly don't think I need the help, I doubt he would believe me if I told him that, considering the mini lecture he just gave me.

"Thanks for..uh..everything" I say gesturing at the puddle of water a few feet from the treadmill where I was laying.

"Oh, yeah no problem! I can drop you off at a clinic if you want." He offers.

"Nah I'm good to drive, but hey, I promise to get checked out. For real, just for you!" I say in a fake jokingly type of way while forcing a smile.

I'm holding you to it!" He responds with the same fakeness,

"Well I better take care of this mess here. See ya around".

Yeah, I can't afford to have any injuries at this point with the rocketship project at Double Deal and all.

I will stop at the clinic, but after that, I have questions that I need answered. I need to make sense of these trips. How am I getting there and coming back? What are these places. If I tell anyone they will write them off as hallucinations or dreams.

I know it.

I need someone who will listen critically.

Someone who can give a reasonable explanation to weird stuff.

Someone who can't tell anyone what I'm dealing with....

*Movement Bands - Muscles