Rejected

She is opening to me more now. I am glad that she is letting me in and letting me help her move on.

I was already in love with her and now, I think she is also falling for me !

She is taking everything I have to give her. My attention, care, concern everything. There were many moments when, we almost kissed. But everytime some one of us backed off !

But one day when, we were talking about my past, I gave her a hint that, I want to be with her and in that moment we kissed for the first time and it was...

Marvelous.

I have kissed so many women in my existence but this kiss ? It was something else.

I wanted to confess her my love but was afraid that, it shouldn't scare her.

She was with Kevin half a year ago and now his brother was hitting on her ! What would she think of me ?

But after the kiss, I wanted to talk to her. But she ran to her room. And now, I have no idea what is she feeling !

Is she ok with what happened ? Or is she gonna hate me for I kissed her ?

Whatever she is feeling, just she shouldn't hate me. I won't be able to handle it if, she'd be mad at me and hate me.

She started avoiding me after we kissed. And I still have no idea if, she is mad at me. She isn't talking to me, looking at me and she is even changing her path if, she sees me in her way !

I won't bother her ever if, got to know what is she thinking ? But she isn't giving me any chance to know that !

One day she was sitting in the balcony having her coffee enjoying the sunset. I went to her,

" Beautiful, isn't it ? "

I said looking at the sun.

She turned in shock as she heard my voice out of nowhere. When she saw me, she became restless and was about to leave.

But I stood infront of her,

" I asked you something, won't you even answer it ? "

I said softly.

" Um...

Yes it is. "

Amber said and started finding a way to escape from me.

I put her coffee mug on the table and grabbing her arms, I pinned her on the wall,

" Why are you avoiding me, Amber ? "

I asked.

She didn't looked at me,

" I am not. "

Amber wispered looking down.

" Say it looking in my eyes ! "

I said seriously.

" Let me go Ethan, you are hurting me. "

Amber said struggling hard to take her hands off my grip.

" And you are hurting me ! Stop behaving like a stranger with me. You aren't even looking at me, let alone talking to me ! Are you mad at me ? "

I asked scared of her response.

" Mad at you ? And why would I be ? "

Amber said in surprised at my words.

" Only you know that, because I can't think of any possible reason of you avoiding me ! Have I done something wrong ? Have I done anything to make you wanna stop talking with me ? "

I asked eagerly.

She still wasn't looking at me. But she was being restless and looking helpless. Like she wanted to tell me something but something was stopping her from doing it.

" There's nothing like that Ethan... "

Amber said trying to avoid the question.

" Don't give me that bullshit, Amber ! I am not a toddler. Any blind person can tell that you are avoiding me. Are you mad at me because...

I kissed you ? "

I asked wishing her would be NO.

She sharply looked in my eyes,

" It wasn't only YOU who kissed ME, I kissed you too ! I can't be mad at you for what we both did ! "

Amber said.

" Then, what have I done ? You are avoiding me since we kissed ! What else do you expect me to think the reason of you avoiding me ? "

I asked impatiently.

" Because I don't want you to think of me as a whore who is always wanting men in her bed ! "

Amber screamed in helplessness.

Her words shook me inside out ! What in the hell is she talking about ?

" Don't you dare calling yourself that ever again, understand ? What the hell is wrong with you ? Why would I think of you that way ?

It was me who kissed you first, not you ! That means I wanted that kiss, not you !

I was scared to death after you started avoiding me. I thought, you are mad at me because YOU are thinking of me as a womanizer, who is hitting on you as my brother is no more in your life ! "

I said helplessly.

" What ? Why would I... "

Amber was out of words at my confession.

I didn't let her finish her and pressing her on the wall, I kissed her hard. She kissed me back with the same passion.

But after a few moments she broke the kiss and turned her face away.

" It's...

It's not right. I...

Um...

We shouldn't do this.

I am so sorry. "

Amber wispered without looking at me.

Her words broke my heart. I let her hands go and moved aside and she went to her room.

After that incidence, I didn't crossed path with her. I continued shopping for her, cooking for her and everything but never came infront of her.

I didn't wanted to make her feel guilty and uncomfortable by watching me everyday and remembering our kiss.

After a week or so Daniel started telling me that, she is looking for me. She is worried not seeing me. She wanted to make sure I was alright and not done anything stupid !

But I didn't wanted to or shall I say, didn't had the guts in me to face her after she rejected me !

She was going somewhere one day and I followed her; without her noticing me. She was going by the main road where, the rush was so much, you couldn't find your own hand in the rush of people !

She was moving and moving and didn't turned back or looked for anyone and suddenly she was going to cross the road without waiting for the pedestrian green signal and almost got hit by a car; but I grabbed her and took her to some place quite.

" What the hell were you doing ? "

I said confronting her.

" I knew, you would save me and won't let happen anything to me ! "

Amber said happily.

There was satisfaction on her face ! What the hell ? She almost got herself killed and she is satisfied ?

" What the hell is wrong with you ? "

I asked confused.

" You didn't left me any other choice, Ethan ! You stopped showing me your face, stopped talking with me, you didn't even responded to my messages I conveyed through Steve and Daniel !

What else was I supposed to do to get you talking to me ? "

Amber said sadly.

Her words shocked me ! She was ready to get herself killed just to get me talking to her ?

" What do you want to talk about so important that, you were ready to die for it ? "

I asked confused.

" There's not one thing Ethan ! Just because I told you we can't do that, you can't continue doing everything for me and stop showing me your face at all ! "

Amber said hurt.

" Then, what was I supposed to do ? Do everything for you and show you my face and pretend nothing ever happened between us ?

Oh, I am so sorry if, I failed to do the basic thing ! "

I said sarcastically.

I didn't wanted to get angry but my voice raised and she flinched a little with shock.

I've never rose my voice or got mad at her. I immediately felt guilty and went to her

" I am so sorry, I didn't wanted to do that. It's just that...

I am sorry. Let's go home, I won't hide myself from you anymore ! "

I said softly grabbing her hands.

I took her to her favorite restaurant and she had her dinner and we returned home after having some ice-cream.

We went to her room and I caressed her to sleep and when she was asleep, I went to my own room.