Chapter 11: I do not wish to lose you just yet.

It's been days since Damien and I moved into the estate. Day after day, he leaves home early and comes home late. It's the same routine everyday. I feel invisible to him. I suppose I should be grateful that I don't have to make an effort to pretend to like him, but at the same time, his absence will make people talk. What happened to his big speech about playing the part of the loyal husband? As I suspected, it was all talk.

I learned that princesses aren't expected to do anything in my husband's culture. Their main tasks is to entertain guests and to be married. Everything in his culture is far from mine. Back in the Palace White, I had an actual job to do. I wasn't just expected to marry. I got to participate in meetings, fight battles, take part in peace-making, and even had a say in decisions regarding the country.

Life here in the estate is lonely. Here, I have no real job. The only job they expect of me is to conceive my husband's child. I am encouraged to do embroidery and whatever frivolous thing there is.

Sighing, I sat boredly in the dining hall with Hera and Maidservant Rose. I came to like Maidservant Rose. She often guides me here.

"You seem troubled, Princess," Hera says, looking rather concerned.

"Perhaps she has heard the news," said Maidservant Rose, "My apologies, Princess Angelique."

I had no idea what they were talking about. What news could it be? Did someone die? Is war once again breaking out? I've been reading the books my family has given me that I fail to keep up with the day to day news.

"What are you two talking about?" I asked curiously. The troubled looks on their faces are making me worry.

They looked at each other and back at me. For certain, the news must be devastating. They look as though someone had died. They both held onto my hand, a gesture to comfort me.

"Angelique," Hera says, "Your husband... He..." she couldn't finish her sentence and instead asked Maidservant rose to tell me.

"My son has been unfaithful to you," Maidservant could barely say it. "I deeply apologize, Princess Angelique. I have tried talking to him, but he insisted that you didn't care about it. Every night, it's a different woman he takes home."

"Perhaps taking the woman home is his way of being discreet," said Hera, "Also his way of keeping the people from shaming you. The less they know, the less they talk."

I sighed, withdrawing my hands. I don't care that he's indulging himself. In fact, I am glad he's no longer bothering me with nonsense. One of the things that worries me is the fact that he may father a bastard way before I give birth to our child. It would be a great scandal—one my family couldn't take. Even now, we still don't know if I am with child. By the way Maidservant Rose educated me about it, I believe I'm not with child.

"Please say something," Maiservant Rose says, sipping on her tea.

I sighed. "What else is there to say?" I asked, "I know what you're both thinking. I know you both think that I brought this upon myself for not even trying." It's true. But even if I tried, I would've failed. I rarely see Damien. Sometimes, when given luck, I wake up to the sound of his footsteps or stumbling in the dead of night. But that's it. We haven't talked since we got here.

"It is not your fault," Maiservant Rose held both my hands, "Please do not think like that."

"But you will try, will you not?" asked Hera, "For your sake and your family's. I do not wish to see you scorned and shamed by the masses."

Of course, I will try. I am a warrior princess who conquers. It's strange how I find this—one of the simplest things—so difficult to do. They say it's easy to bring a man to bed, and yet I can't bring myself to do so. Damien Cross—they say—is one of the easiest men to bed. They must wonder how I—his own wife—could fail so miserably at that.

"I will try," I assured them.

Just then, Damien came in, holding a sword in his hand. He looked scratched and tired.

I stood from my seat almost instinctively, walking straight toward him. "You look beat," I said, wiping the blood from his cheek. His eyes remained cold and blank. "What happened?"

Maidservant Rose made him sit down and Hera took his sword.

"Please get first aid," I instructed them. They left us both while they fetched the items I asked for. I sighed, unbuttoning his shirt. I've never thought I'd be doing this for him, and yet here I am. "Will you at least tell me what happened?"

"A common enemy of our houses was at the borders," he explained, "I helped the civilians make their escape. There were too many of them."

I struggled to open his shirt properly, so I just tore it open. He had an ugly wound in his abdomen, and a few scratches on his arms.

He grabbed my wrist, catching my attention. "You will leave for the Capital for your safety, do you understand me?"

Maidservant Rose and Hera arrived with everything I'd asked for. They placed everything on the table. Before they could ask him anything, he already cut them off, dismissing them, "I would like to speak to my wife alone." With that said, the two ladies left in a hurry.

Damien then looked at me, saying, "You will go with them, alright?"

I shook my head, putting the washcloth on his wounds. I tried my best to clean them up without making any blood spill further. "I was known as the White Knight," I said, applying ointment to his wounds. "You're also known to be the fiercest warrior alive today. Together, you and I are unstoppable. If I were to leave you here and seek refuge in the Capital, I would be shaming my own name." I looked into his eyes, saying, "I will stay with you."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Women in our family are protected," he argued. "You married me, therefore you're expected to follow our customs."

"You married me as well," I fought back, "So you need to follow my customs as well." I held him by his chin to face me, saying, "I know about your nightly activities."

"Fuck," he cussed, turning away. "Are we seriously going to talk about that right now? At a time like this?"

I wrapped his arms and abdomen with bandages, trying my best to treat his wounds. They weren't pretty, and it seemed that he had lost quite a lot of blood. As much as I despise him, I cannot leave him to fight alone. I'm more than certain he could die due to the amount of blood loss he had.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" he asked, grabbing my wrist. He looked at me sternly, waiting for a reply.

I said, "I will not be the nagging wife. I won't scream at you for indulging in different women every single night. But I will nag you about what's to come today. You probably are not aware, but I was a medic before I became the White Knight. You have lost a lot of blood, judging by your wounds. I ask you to not fight. If you do, you will die."

He chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "If I die, you'll be free to marry Jonah; isn't that what you want? To be free of me."

"I would prefer if you died in my hands," I joked, "But Damien, I cannot watch you go blindly into battle. I know that you won't survive this one. If you also send me off, I don't think I'd be able to nag you about your infidelity afterwards."

He tucked my stray hair behind my ear, locking his eyes on mine. His eyes weren't cold any longer. At this angle, there seems to be warmth. It was small, but it existed. "Are you saying that you care?" he asked.

"I'm saying that if you die, and if I happen to be indeed pregnant, then our child would grow up not knowing who his father is," I said, placing my hand over his cheek. Feeling the connection, he placed his hand over mine, flashing me a warm and genuine smile.

"So please," I said, "Let's call for backup from the Capital and our allies. I won my battles by picking them. This battle that you're choosing right now, is a losing one. I do not wish to lose you just yet." I couldn't believe the words that escaped my own lips. I would've never said this to Damien Cross. Perhaps I said it to persuade him to go into battle. Still, it was so believable that even I almost believed it.

He placed his hands on my cheeks, resting his forehead against mine. "Fine," he said, "I will do this just this once because we do not know for certain that you are with child."

"Thank you," I said, feeling somewhat relieved.

"But be honest," he said, laughing, "You know that it's better if the child didn't know me at all."

I nodded in agreement. I then pinched him hard in his arm, making him flinch. "Now that you agreed to stay clear of the battle," I said angrily, "Why don't you tell me why you're taking home a different woman every single night! All the staff have been talking about it! They question me—the Princess! Do you know how offensive that is? They think of me as a failure!"

Hera's knocks saved Damien from my wrath. "Princess," she says, "We have word from the Prince of Polaris that he will send troops to protect the estate and borders. King and Queen White are sending armies as well."

"And my parents?" asked Damien.

"Their soldiers are already on their way," she replied, "The staff and I shall prepare to barricade all entrances now. Please return to your chambers as soon as you can." With that said, Hera left.

I looked at Damien.

"The Prince of Polaris, huh?" he said, "I suppose your ex-boyfriend has some use, after all."

"Please," I said, "Do not do anything that may offend him. He is coming to our rescue."

He pulled me closer, saying, "He's coming to your rescue. I bet that you're so excited to see him. Don't tell me you aren't."

"I am," I said, "But out of respect for our marriage, I will not entertain him. I will grant him a proper greeting, and that's about it. He will get nothing more from me. Unlike you, I know how to restrain myself."

He pulled on me again, this time, making me fall to my knees. One of his hands held a tight grip on my wrist, and the other on my shoulder.

"What?" I asked him.

"Were you jealous when I brought those women home?" he asked.

I replied, "No."

"Then why are you so angry?" he asked.

"To be jealous means that I actually feel something for you," I explained, "I was angry because people will start to question me and my ability to bear your children. If you continue to go on like that, you may father a bastard way before I could even give you a son."

"You don't even try," he argued, "How can you give me a son when you don't even try."

"How do I try when you leave before I wake up and come home when I'm already asleep?" I fought back, "You wouldn't even give me a chance to. God, you're so annoying, Damien."

"I thought you didn't want to," he said, releasing me from his grip. "You seem to dismiss me every time I advance."

"Damien," I said, avoiding his gaze, "I will admit that I made mistakes... We both did. Now, I want to do my part as your wife and future Queen. Let us learn from our mistakes and do our best from now on."

He stood up, nodding in agreement. "Alright," he says, "Let us go and fulfill our duties then."