Chapter 1 - The Beginning after and End

Every beginning is an end.

"We need to end this. Let's break up." Drayce said.

Looking up at him, his eyes could not meet mine and over time, my view started to blur as my eyes began to water.

How did it come to this? He was my first love. I never had to deal with a breakup before and I honestly never expected to go through one until it happen.

I guess I'm bound to suffer through heartbreak like everybody else.

But how did we end up like this?

3 years ago

The airport has always been a place filled with people with either hopeful and determined eyes for their ventures to different places, or with tearful farewells to their loved ones.

I normally would frequent the airport growing up. My family has been known to take careers outside of our homeland for better opportunities. My father included. However, today, I found myself at the other end of the airport from my father.

As they stood outside waving their hands at me, I smiled one last time before looking on ahead to going to America for the second time.

This time, I'll try my best to make a lasting impression on my employers. I'm sure they will offer me to stay, right?

Unlike 2 years ago, I felt braver as I take my seat on the plane. My lengthy journey is only the beginning.

Besides, unlike before, I have something else to look forward to.

Jarvis Godfrey

In my 21 years of life, I have always been afraid of the risks of being in a relationship with someone. Yet I found myself taking a leap of faith in meeting him along with a great opportunity of this internship.

It would be the night when we all reached our designated duplex for the year. A house in front of the resort was separated into two parts: one for the boys; and one for the girls.

This isn't my first time mingling with people I barely know and living with them for a certain amount of time, but the rush of adventure never ceases to amaze me.

Before going to sleep, despite my jet lag, I push on to message Jarvis about my arrival and how I am excited to see him. However, I wasn't able to receive anything back.

I understand. It's too late, he's probably fast asleep somewhere.

The next morning, I was surprised that I managed to wake up at 8 am despite sleeping so late.

The moment I woke up, I suddenly felt the chilliness in the air, reminding me I am so far from home. Despite being situated in one of the golden islands of Georgia, the air is still cold. Somehow, I suddenly miss the other place I have previously spent my internship with.

When I looked at my beat-up phone, however, I found that Jarvis still hasn't responded. I guess he will within the day.

For at least a year, I dedicated and invested time and feelings for Jarvis after meeting him accidentally on a dating site app I initially thought was a match game app.

For a while, we have both shown great interest in one another but seeing as how he limits himself from responding to me, it's starting to make me feel as though maybe he is changing.

It's been a week. Months ago, we agreed to see each other the first few days I arrive. After ignored messages and a forgotten scheduled Skype video call, I'm starting to feel dejected.

When he suddenly responds to my text from yesterday, I decided to confront him.

Salina: Are you avoiding my texts?

Jarvis: I am very busy Salina. I work so many hours on top of my school, you know this!

Salina: I know that, but I was not asking for a full hour of texting from you. I thought that since I'm here we would talk a bit more than you answering my texts once a day.

Jarvis: Look, whenever I reply, you respond with a torrent of messages! I honestly don't have time for that so I avoid responding to you.

I can feel a pain in my chest as I read through his texts. I only respond once whenever he replies and I do not understand why he is exaggerating until it hit me.

Salina: If it is such a bother to you, then I don't think we should go on with this.

Jarvis: Okay.

I know my worth. I know that since I am making an effort, I would like just a bit more than what he is giving but I didn't realize that it would be this easy for him to just accept our relationship being over.

Maybe it was easier because we never spend time together physically. We have never gone out or looked into each other's eyes apart from our video calls but for me, it held more meaning than it did with him.

Not wanting to cry in front of my housemates, I ran out of the kitchen and went to the front porch swing to be on my own.

With my silent tears, I pour out the pain within my chest.

Back in my room, my roommate and bunkmate Macy suddenly looked up and smiled at me. "Hey, I hope it's okay. I found out from the other girls about you and Jarvis."

Macy is 5 years older than me despite her short stature, regardless, I have always treated her like an older sister. "It's fine. It wasn't a secret anyway." I said as I try to smile at the bitter taste of reality on my lips.

"Look, he's a jerk for ever letting you go that easily. He doesn't deserve your precious tears!"

"Jerk or not, it still hurts..."

"Well, what about this, try tinder."

My head suddenly snaps to my side at the mention of the infamous dating app. "What? But I'm not into—"

"No, no. It's not like that." She said as she waves her hands, stopping me from talking. "Just because you're there doesn't mean you are into a hookup or replacing him already. I mean just talk to other guys. There is nothing wrong with talking to them and finding out that there are tons of them around. He's just one guy in a sea of them. Not all of them are as awful as he is, I'm sure."

Sighing in defeat, I nodded my head and smiled. "Alright, I'll do that."

Macy's smile widens before she speaks. "Besides, this is a good distraction! If you are talking to a lot of guys, swiping left and right, you will have no time thinking about someone who gives little to no attention to you than what you deserve."

As she waves goodbye to be on her shift, I wave back and look up at the ceiling thinking over her words.

That is until my mom suddenly called. I immediately picked up the call and saw her face too close to the camera. "Anak! How are you? I missed you!" She said, her eyes squinting at her phone as she uses the phone without glasses.

"Hey, Ma. I'm doing alright, what about you guys over there?"

"Oh, you know. We have already moved to the apartment as they tear up the house. We got your cat back by the way, but we have to let him go because he is meowing incessantly for him to go back outside. I'm sure he'll be back later." She said with her cheery voice.

I smiled at her. I miss her. Being an only child, my mother has always been so much to me. We have gotten so close that she isn't just my mother anymore. She's also my sister and my best friend. Looking at her expecting eyes, I bit my lower lip in preparation for what I'm about to say. "Ma, do you think that it's okay to try and talk to some other guys even when Jarvis and I broke up just yesterday?"

"What do you mean by talking?"

"Like just talking. You see, my roommate found out that Jarvis and I are over so she suggested I try tinder. Not to find a boyfriend, but to just talk to other guys. You know, kind of like to see what's out there so I would have less time to mope around about our ended relationship."

Mom finally saw her glasses, wears them and moves the camera farther where I can see her upper torso. "I don't see a problem in that. Besides, if work doesn't distract you as much, then I don't see anything wrong with talking to other men. Just remember to be careful."

"I will, Ma."

Then, someone spoke that my mother had to look away from the phone before she got back to me. "Sorry, I think I have to go. Your father wanted to eat dinner now. Call me soon okay? Take care, Anak!"

"Take care!"

Then we ended our call.

As I stare at my phone screen, I began to download tinder, set up my profile, and hope for the best.