Chapter 9 - Familiarity

In 6 years, I have not talked about him in the hopes that it will help me move on and focus on my daughter.

Coming here and talking to my Aunt is the only time I have ever even thought of mentioning him as a subject. Perhaps it's been so long since I allowed myself to speak his name out loud that I began seeing him everywhere I look because in truth I miss him.

6 years is a very long time.

Has he come back?

I have always wondered what he's been doing.

No matter how much I'm curious about him, it's always a struggle not to look at him on social media. In all those years, I was able to keep myself from looking him up.

If it wasn't for my daughter, I probably would have a lot of time simmering on the idea of taking a glimpse of what might have happened to him.

Before I officially blocked him, I know he has not updated anything from Facebook down to his Instagram.

As I lay awake, jet-lagged, I debated whether I should unblock him or not.

With one click, I can satisfy my curiosity.

However, as my finger drew closer to my screen to touch the unblock button, Maralin went closer to me and hug me.

I look to my side and kiss the top of her head.

In a lot of ways, I always wondered why she took after most of her physical appearance from him. When she was growing up, everybody who saw her would immediately point out how pretty her wavy dark blonde hair is or how striking her green eyes are.

Most of my family has already met Drayce when he once visited me when we were still together and they have all mentioned how the only thing my daughter took after from me is my last name.

Looking at her sometimes feels like looking at him.

It both comfort and hurt me at the same time.

I place my phone on the nightstand and brush Maralin's hair. There is something therapeutic about brushing her hair. Her hair is as soft as his.

Why am I thinking of him all of a sudden? I berated myself. I shouldn't be doing this. I'm sure the guy I saw isn't him. For all I know, he didn't make it out of that mission.

Maybe… I'm just missing him so much because I have so many memories with him here and it is probably the only time I have allowed myself to think about him this way after a long while.

When Maralina changes her position to the other side, I put her favorite dinosaur plushy in between her arms before carefully getting out of her bed. I took my phone and went out of her room and leave her door partially open.

Sighing, I lay on my bed and looked at my phone once again. As soon as my screen opened, I jolted upright upon seeing I accidentally unblocked him.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath.

Not wanting to see what could be on his Facebook, I lock the screen and place my phone on my nightstand.

The next morning, I head out to my Aunt's place to drop off my daughter. Though I only slept for a few hours, I have already booked my day to find a daycare for my daughter. In 3 days, I have to be able to do so, or else I'm forced to keep asking for a favor from my Aunt.

"Mama, where are you going?" Maralin asks as she pouts and gives me that cute pleading eyes.

I kneel to level my eyes with hers and tuck her hair behind her ear. "Mama's going to look for a daycare for you, sweetie. You know mama needs to work right?" She look down and nodded her head in affirmation. "I'll be back before you know it. Be good to Lola Reese okay?" She nodded once again.

Though it hurts me to leave her like this I know I have to. I cannot bring her to my work and I can't keep imposing on my Aunt. Sighing, I kissed her head and bid my goodbyes.

I hail a cab and went to the first daycare.

Before coming here, I have been making my research on daycares that are close to where I work and only realized how far the other ones are.

I have been to many daycares today and none of them are close to where I work.

Exhausted and defeated, I went to the park to take a breather.

The last time I traveled here, I wasn't able to get to central park because I was only here for 2 days. My friend I traveled with at the time wanted to visit a lot of places and since we are not knowledgeable about the subway system of the city, we ended up just traveling by foot.

As I sit on a bench, the bustling city felt so far away.

Looking up, the canopy of trees, the soft breeze of the wind, and the distant noises of people around here. My mom would have loved it here…

I always talked about how amazing central park is and since seeing it in one of the movies we once watched, she has always wanted to go.

Remembering my mom suddenly brought up familiar painful feelings in my chest. I'm ashamed of the things I did after her passing but the pain remains.

Not wanting to venture into another painful reminiscing, I decided to head back to my Aunt's apartment to pick up Maralin.

Walking out of the park, I saw a woman drop her wallet after taking something from her bag. I hurriedly pick it up and called on her to give it back.

When she turned around, I was greeted by probably one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my entire life.

I have always been a nerd. I watch anime, I read manhwas apart from the other books I read. Mostly, when I read a manhwa, the depiction of beauty is always something like this.

Rich long blonde hair, blue eyes, and supple red lips. It's always been the ideal beauty in the Philippines.

When she smiled, it felt like she suddenly sparkled. "Thank you so much! I didn't even know I dropped it." She said.

Even her voice is amazing… In awe, I could only smile before turning back to the way I came and go home.

New York is a massive city. There could be millions of people living in this city alone. The probability of seeing someone you know by chance is highly unlikely.

Yet, I stand here in this park, Drayce walks on with his commanding stride as he looks forwards.

He hasn't seen me yet. My first instinct is to hug him but I stop myself even before I could take another step forward.

It's been 6 years. His hair is no longer as long and curly as I remember. He now sports a shorter one.

Somehow, he looked more muscular and intimidating than I remember.

When he was walking closer, I immediately looked down and walked faster in the hopes of him not noticing me.

Drayce is always oblivious to women. I'm sure he wouldn't see me.

"Cristine?" I wanted to stop when he called my name, but I'm too scared to do it.

I should not have gone to the central park.

No, why is he even here? He has always cursed to be in any city he deems 'liberal'. Why is he even here?!

"Mama, are you okay?" Maralin asks as we sit in the back of the cab.

I look over at her and smile. "Yes, baby. Mama's alright." When I saw the look in her eyes, I can tell she knows something is up. Not wanting to divulge any information about it, I decided to change the subject. "Did you enjoy your time with your cousins?"

"They are a lot older than me, but they played with me. They even took care of Fufu." She said looking at her dinosaur plushy.

"That's good. Sweetie, you're going to have to stay there again tomorrow okay? Until Mama finds a daycare, you have to stay there."

"You're going away tomorrow again too? But mama, they ask me so difficult questions." Maralin pouted.

I chuckled. "What kinds of questions?" I ask.

My family is not that different from any other Asian family. Academics has always been something they highly regard. Growing up, they will ask me questions as a kid to see how advanced my intellect is. Sometimes, they'll even do it as the adults round-up around me, making me cite prayers, and asking me simple math questions even when I'm not even in school yet. I guess they did to her what they did to me.

"They keep asking Mara about my papa but Mara doesn't know if she has one." I found myself dumbfounded when she revealed the questions, though apparently, it was only one question.

Out of all the questions, why that one?

"Mama, do I have a papa?"

Looking into her eyes, greatly reminded me of Drayce especially when the last time I saw him was just a few hours ago.

Now his face looked a lot more familiar than before and it breaks my heart.

"We will talk more about this later, okay?"

"Okay, but can Mara have Mac-cheese again?" She said as we continue heading home.