Chapter 8 - Return

I have never been around pregnant women before. Being an only child, I never got around to seeing what a woman would go through soon as she became pregnant.

Laying on the hospital bed waiting for either the nurse or doctor to enter the room, I couldn't help but peel off my lips from anxiety.

"Anak, stop that. Your lip is already bleeding." Mom said as she places my hand away from my lips. I nodded and sighed in worry. "I understand. Your first child will always make you feel both excited and anxious." Her warm smile suddenly softens my uneasy heart as she brushes my hair.

"Thanks, mom. I'm just really scared."

"I know. It's alright."

After a few seconds, the doctor finally came out and greeted us. She then lifted my hospital gown to expose my belly before placing a gel on it. "You ready?" She asks, earning a nod from both me and my mom.

She placed the ultrasound on my belly and there, for the first time, I saw my baby.

At this point, I honestly have zoned out the voices in the room. All I could focus on is the tiny diploid shown on the screen. When I heard the heartbeat for the first time, my tears began to fall and I have to cover my mouth to suppress my happiness.

All my mom could do is hug me as she cries with joy as well on my side.

When we got home, I stayed inside the room on my bed as I look at the sonogram.

I still fear my incompetence as a parent but these little things make everything worthwhile.

In a moment, I began to think about Drayce.

I know I shouldn't but I wonder what he's doing now.

This is the longest we haven't talked to each other.

It still takes time to get used to.

Just a few weeks ago, I would always receive texts or calls from him even when he was working. We never stop talking to each other even when we may seem to run out of subjects to talk about at times.

Mom told me before that a lot can happen in a day.

That's why she insists I do everything that I can to make it so I wouldn't regret not doing anything.

In a day, I lost the most precious thing in my life.

Somehow, I wish he simply just made me hate him.

Hate is a great motivator to forget him. Even though he keeps seeing himself as a bad person, he isn't one at all. He may be brash, blunt, and quick-tempered but he's always been understanding, caring, and faithful to me.

During our relationship, I never once doubted him even when we were away from each other.

He is a great man every woman prays for.

I hope he's okay...

"I love you so much," Drayce said, slurring his words from drinking so much beer earlier this evening.

"I love you too, but I think you've had too much beer. You're slurring already." I said, chuckling at him.

He took my hand and raise my chin so my gaze would be on his beautiful hazel eyes. "Are you ready to take my name and be mine forever?"

"W-what? You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."

His eyes close as he moves towards me, planting a soft kiss on my lips. I tasted beer on his lips but I didn't mind as I kissed him back. When we pull apart, he locks his gaze on mine and spoke. "I may have been drinking but I know what I'm saying. So what do you say? Want to be a Lind forever?"

"How can I say no to the man I love so much?"

As he smiles, he leans in once again for a kiss.

When I open my eyes, I can feel my heart breaking into pieces.

It was nothing but a dream, no it's now a distant dream.

I cover my mouth to prevent my parents from hearing me cry. I wish nothing but for that dream to be real.

If only...

Drayce was my first love.

He was my first boyfriend and I have given all my heart to him.

I wish he didn't leave something behind when he broke my heart.

Maybe one day I could forget him.

One day, I'd be able to wake up in the morning without thinking of him.

One day, my dreams would not be riddled with his face and his kisses.

Maybe someday...

Those hazel eyes that looked lovingly once my way would hold little importance to me.

I wish that day would simply come.

Years later...

"Hello Tita, we have arrived," I said as I call my aunt through FaceTime. "Where are you guys?"

"Oh, I think I see you!" She said excitedly on the phone. When I look up, Just meters away from me is my Aunt waving toward us.

I smiled at her while I push the cart carrying our luggage as my daughter held onto the hem of my jacket.

My Aunt Reese knelt to level her eyes with my daughter. "Hello, pretty one. It's so nice to meet you finally in person. I'm Lola Reese." She said, smiling sweetly at her.

My daughter looked up at me and waited for me to nod before looking back at her and responding. "M-my name's Maralin." She said coyly while outstretching her hands and keeping her eyes down.

Aunt Reese took her tiny hand and shake it lightly. "Maralin, what a lovely name." She then looks up at me with a knowing and sympathetic gaze.

I could only smile bitterly.

While in the car, I look out the view of New York City silently reminiscing the last time I visited here. "How long since you last visited this country again?" Aunt Reese asks as she drives.

"It's been 6 years but I haven't been in New York longer than that," I respond with my eyes still towards the view.

"I'm happy you were able to squeeze in a bit of time to visit us for a month. I initially thought you'd be directly moved to Florida."

"My company decided to let me work for a month here and help out on the hotel since they needed more manpower here than in Florida at the moment. Besides, if I could have only chosen a place for us, I would have preferred to be on the upper east coast than down the south."

"That's right. I remember you mentioned before that he hates the north. He's a true southerner after all." I stay silent after that until I noticed Maralin sleeping at the back.

"I haven't told her about him, Tita. So if it's alright with you, can you keep from mentioning him while she's around? At least until I manage to tell her." I implored while I look at my daughter.

"Alright, but you do realize that you can't keep it from her forever. If your company has wished for you to move here then sooner or later she might meet him or his family."

"I don't worry about that much. This is a massive country after all. I doubt we'll be in the same state let alone a city. Besides, his family doesn't know. I stopped talking to them soon as I left."

I was lucky enough that my aunt has made sure that the accommodation provided by my company will be child friendly. After driving us to our new apartment, as a show of gratitude, I invited my aunt to eat out at the hotel that I'll be working with soon.

Technically, I'll be working on the hotel, not the restaurant but by extension, I should be working alongside with them as well.

Soon as we entered the hotel, Maralin decided to run a bit ahead of us and look at her surroundings. "It's so pretty in here, Mama." She said, admiring the hotel lobby in awe.

"Yes, baby. Now hold my hand so I won't lose you." I stretched out my hand which she gladly took.

We continued onto the restaurant. Soon as we were seated, I began to look around and see how busy the restaurant was.

It slowly reminded me of the hotel I used to work at 6 years ago.

Unlike that restaurant in Georgia, this place screams 5 stars.

When the food came, everything was exquisite and delectable. Maralin who is a bit of a picky eater was able to finish her plate in a short time. The more we eat, the more my aunt and I reminisce about our lives in the Philippines.

We aren't as close but because my parents were quite fond of them and they used to live near us, visiting them has been a norm for us.

"I'm sorry. It must have been hard leaving your father alone in Manila." She said as her smile fades.

"I didn't leave him alone. Her sister is also living with him along with my other cousins. I'm sure he's taken care of."

"Still, though. Your mother has an exceptional way of taking care of you and your father. Even though it's been years, I still think that you have never quite healed since you lost her."

I was only able to smile bitterly at her as soon as my mother became the subject.

In a split second, I was haunted by the awful memories I had after her passing. Smiling through the pain, I look at my daughter before speaking. "Maybe. It would be a lie if I say it isn't so. It has been a difficult few years for us."

"Is that the reason why you couldn't wait to get out of the Philippines? I heard from your father that you rejected all the great job offers when you were still in Manila."

Sighing, I nodded my head yes and look back at her. "Yes, I have rejected them. Partly because I think I needed a break from everything. Manila reminded me of what happened to my mother and I no longer want to expose my daughter to any sobering experiences."

"Mama, I need to pee." Maralin suddenly said, tugging the sleeve of my shirt.

I look back at her and nodded. "Alright, I'll come with you."

"It's okay, Mama. I think I can handle it." She said, then stood up from her chair and went towards the bathroom.

"Your daughter, she's only 5 right? Sometimes she seems older than her age."

"Yeah, it surprises me too. I was always joined by the hip with my mom during her age." I said, remembering great memories.

We continued to talk until we wait for Maralin. When she came back, she was holding a stem of peony as she grins. "Mama look! A man gave this to me when I told him that the flowers were pretty."

Confused, I look around to see who could have given her the flowers but saw no one. "Really? That was nice of him. Did you thank him properly?"

"Yes, Mama."

She sat back and I suddenly felt the need to go to the bathroom myself. "Tita, I just need to head to the bathroom," I said before getting up and heading there.

I was only a few inches away from the door when I suddenly smelled something familiar.

His scent.

It's been so long since I last smelled it.

My head snapped around me to see if he is there. Just then, right by the door, I saw a man with a muscular build and dark blonde hair heading out. My heart instantly raced inside my chest. Is that him?

"Hi, are you going in?" A girl said behind me, breaking away from my reverie.

"Oh, yes. Sorry." I apologized and then head inside.