17th Chapter

Finnja

After this last week I felt unmotivated to do anything and Jessica noticed that too. However, I concealed from her my anger and everything that was still going on inside me. Lukas was quite a mystery to me because of his response and strange behavior. I felt that Sandy was taking advantage of this to humiliate me even more. And it showed in my ''beloved'' biology class. We have a clear seating arrangement, as boys and girls are well divided. Jannik sits with Lukas in the very front row and me and my girlfriends in the third row. Me on the right and Sandy on the left.

Bio was one of my hate subjects and especially with this teacher. I didn't really care about this subject matter, the main thing was that I could look at the back of Lukas' head. That was much more exciting. Only a few boys have such a neat hairstyle like him. He is just perfect, there is no other way to describe him.

I was trying in some thoughts when Sandy came forward to a statement from Mr. Brod. She began to describe the eyeball. I had never been so bored by anything as I was at that very moment. Until something, turned all my thoughts upside down. Lukas turned around conspicuously as the only boy in the front row and looked at Sandy with wide eyes and a big grin. Jessi was also shocked and immediately spoke a remark to Sandy, "Omg, Sandy did you see that? ". I didn't care about her statement. What Lukas had done there gave me an insane insecurity and hurt me deeply. My mood deteriorated by quite a bit and my emotions were a mixture of anger and despair. Jessi urged me to check in so she could see if he would react the same way with me. I knew that wouldn't do any good. I also no longer had any hope of any feelings he might have had for me. No, I forgot about everything around me and focused only on the one thing: I had to fight for Lukas.

The next few days I didn't talk much about him to Jessi and Ariana. And Sandy not at all. She kind of started pulling away more and more, and yet she felt more favored than I did by Lukas. At my favorite teacher's house, we played this class memory game, which is used to get to know your classmates better. From my point of view, a complete waste of time and one of the stupidest games ever. I called myself Klee, because I couldn't think of anything better, and so the game went on as usual. My name was called after a while and without me realizing it, I had to switch with Isabella, who was sitting in front next to Lukas. My expression immediately became more serious and I buried my face in my hands. Lukas started chatting with Paul about how pointless math was and I agreed. He certainly hadn't heard me and even if he had, he probably wouldn't have cared. Lukas wasn't into me. That was 98% clear to me. I happened to glance over at Sandy, who was giving me her most jealous look of hatred. Whatever grabbed me, I started grinning uncontrollably and immediately regretted it. I had just challenged her, so to speak. My stomach churned and it got better when I was allowed back to my old place.

That same day, me and Jessica were still on the phone talking about today's events. I told her as always, my honest opinion about Jannik and her. And then I asked her to tell me her own opinion about Lukas. I was nervous. Finally, the opinion of Jessi was very important to me. She immediately began to speak plainly, I think that maybe he has just no interest in girls, since he has not done much so far. Even though I had to hear this opinion, I just didn't want to accept it. I had wanted a little spark of hope from Jessi's side and even though she was right, I was still hurt. I needed explanations and answers. As quickly as possible.