20th Chapter

Finnja:

Whatever was going on with me had triggered a lot in me. The week was alternately good, but also full of emotional chaos and despair. Sandy was just acting out, laughing loudly behind our backs, with the other classmates, and just spending a lot more time with them than she did with us. She also seemed different towards me. Whether it was angry looks or staring at me for minutes on end. It kept me busy because I wanted to know what was going on in her head. Was she now afraid that I might take Luke away from her? After all, she had a tremendous reason to be.

Luke looked at me more often and pretending that nothing had happened was impossible to manage on my part. Even though it seems unreal, but I look forward to fifth period every week when we have bio and Lukas and the others are all already sitting in the classroom. The language students, like me, are always required to pass them. Every week I look over at him in those exact seconds and my heartbeat doubles for every second. And in those exact moments, he looks at me too. Those seconds have been gold to me. His looks, directed only at me, were a part of rebuilding hope.

It is only today that I notice how good Lukas smells, even if that sounds strange now. But I find above all, the smell of men important to appear again a piece more attractive. What I also noticed... his neck. He has a neck muscle on the left side, which stands out conspicuously. That also adds another plus point of over a million. Every day I see him, he seems to me, more and more interesting and that makes me curious. I also think it's so cute when he starts discussing the soccer players and getting upset about the level of play in the World Cup that's going on.

Despite that, this week was bad, if we talk about my feelings. I had a lot of fights with Nina. Especially in the last days. I was of the opinion that it was just too stressful for me. I always had to listen, but the other way around was out of the question and that annoyed me deeply. My mood swings were playing havoc and I was upset 24/7. I felt disadvantaged like never before. Jessi just couldn't accept that I needed my rest. One of the reasons, of course, was Luke. I mean who doesn't worry about his next step with his crush. But I also had my period and for the first time real emotional fluctuations. The stress was too much for me and on the same day I started crying for no reason. And that five times. No wonder, with what was going on.

The only thing that distracted me were the positive thoughts that were directed towards Luke. I had a strong feeling of mutual attraction this week. Jessi was also watching him look at me most of the time and I also have to honestly say that I found his looks, sometimes directed at me, to be different than the ones I had last week. Jackpot.