RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

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"What are you all planning to do after high school?"

"I don't know, Arwen; probably work at my dad's work."

"Doesn't he work at a gas station?"

"No, Abby told us before that her dad works at a hotel downtown. Val's dad works at the gas station; I've seen him there before."

"Yeah, you're right; I forgot. I'm probably going to work some volunteer hours during college."

"You're all actually thinking about that now?"

"He's going to end up living in his mom's basement for the next eight years."

"Shut the hell up, Cole. If anything, you'd live with him."

"Don't listen to him, Val. I honestly have no idea what you see in him; he's terrible. You don't have to decide your life story yet. None of us actually know what's going to happen."

"It's cutting it a little close to decide now, Aspen. We won't be in high school forever."

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"Just take those old records off the shelf!"

"I'll sit and listen to them by myself!"

"Today's music ain't got the same soul!"

"I like that old-time rock 'n' roll!"

"Yeah, sing it, kid! Don't try to take me to a disco!"

"You'll never even get me out on the floor!"

"Can you believe we've listened to this song about 8,000 times?

"Still like that old-time rock 'n' roll; that kind of music just soothes the soul!"

"We'll be fine. The days of old, with that old-time rock 'n' roll!"

We weren't fine. Robert always drove too fast; I knew one day it would catch up to him. His head was caught in the windshield, blood streaming down his face, and so many of his bones poked out of his dark skin. It took every ounce of strength to pull him out. I buried him in the highway ditch; it took all night. I took all of his cassettes, even the ones that broke. I fished his Walkman out of the glove box, and I walked on my own for the first time in a long time, listening to the music he loved. I wish I had died that night too.

I thought I could live a life with Robert. But now, I am left with the haunting memories of that tragic accident and the pain of losing him. He was the first person who bothered to look after me when everything began. He always told me I didn't need anyone's help. I didn't need to rely on others, and I'd be okay on my own. I would give anything for that to be true. I wish I could have lived up to his expectations.

Chapter 2 (Old Fashioned)