RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

Chapter 13: (When You Can't Walk on Your Own)

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"We're going back out there? With them?"

"We need to find a staircase to get to the rest of the building, Val; that's where the others went."

"But the dead are still out there."

"You're already bit; what's the worst that can happen?"

"Very funny." I hesitated, glancing out the grimy window at the hordes of undead milling about. The thought of venturing into their midst sent a shiver down my spine. I knew that staying put was not an option, though; we needed to reunite with the rest of our group if Maverick had any hope of survival.

Maverick opened the door first, and he took my hand in his as he peered into the dark abyss of the parking garage. I could hear the dead as they roamed mindlessly around. I held Maverick's hand tighter, knowing this was a bad idea but also knowing it was the only idea we had.

I waited at that door; nothing the others said could convince me to move. One of the dead always looked back at me; she was an older woman with her eyes sunken in. She batted aimlessly at the doorknob. I almost wanted to let her in just to see what would happen.

I don't know what was stopping me from opening the door and going out there to look for him. I loved the others, but for some reason, Valentine was the only one that really mattered anymore. I couldn't imagine living without him; maybe that's why I didn't try to find him on my own. I was afraid of what I would find if I went out there and what I would do if he was no longer himself.

Abby, Riley, Aspen, and Skylar left me at the door to go up the stairs and explore the rest of the building. They tried to convince me to follow, but they knew I never would, not until he was here, not until I knew he was okay.

The woman had moved, and more tears fell from my face onto the concrete. I had lost count of how many times I cried. I stared at the dead through the little window in the doorway, and I watched as I saw Maverick and Valentine sneak past the herd. I wanted to break down; the relief and dread I felt from not being able to reach him were more than I could handle.

Chapter 13 (When You Can't Walk on your Own)