RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

"Is this your fucking kid? This is a dead baby. You've been carrying around a dead baby!" Blake couldn't speak, he was drowning in his own tears. Maverick looked at me cradling the infant loosely in his hands. I was too shocked to say anything but he was furious. He threw the baby on the ground as he stood up, its neck snapped as it hit the pavement. His steps were heavy as he walked towards Blake, his fists clenched at his side. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, his head slammed hard into the wall as Maverick brought him to his feet.


"Is this some sort of sick joke? You've been walking around this whole fucking time with your dead kid in your fucking backpack!"


"Bullshit! You're fucking insane! Were you gonna do that to my kid next?"


"We have to go!" Kingsley shouted. "There's more of the dead!"


"You're not coming with us. You can die here with your kid." Maverick let go of Blake and he fell back to the ground. Maverick took Andie from me without another word and walked off. I hesitated to follow knowing Kingsley wouldn't leave Blake that easily. I could see the pain in her eyes as she realized I wasn't going to stay and the dead got closer.


"C'mon, Blake, the others left, we gotta go."


"Yes you can. Macie might be gone but I'm still here. I'll always be here, Blake, and I need you here too. You gotta get up so we can go."


"I can't leave you like I left Lucio. Please, Blake, I need you to get up."


"No you're not. I don't think you are. You're my best friend. Now get the fuck up or I'm gonna have to drag you myself." Kingsley wiped the tears from her eyes and her expression turned aggressive as she tugged on my arm with all her strength. I took one last look at Macie's body on the ground in front of me as the dead stepped on her to get closer to us, her pale, lifeless body broke under their feet. It took everything I had to pull my body up as Kingsley struggled to help me to my feet. I stared at my daughter until she was too far away to see. Kingsley held my hand so tightly it hurt as we ran as quickly as I could bring myself to go away from the dead.


Chapter 16 (The Monster You Created)