RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

We never made it to Texas. We never got to the car. I decided that Texas wasn't worth the risk, and if we've survived this long without it, maybe it's a sign we'd do okay without it. We lived in a cabin filled with old booze and magazine catalogs. Kingsley hadn't spoken in months, but I knew what had happened. Blake would have been here with her if he wasn't dead. I liked the peace of the cabin; it reminded me of the beach. The dead stayed away, and the people too. It was quiet. The isolation provided a sense of safety, shielding us from the chaos and danger that lurked beyond the cabin's walls. The serene atmosphere allowed me to find solace in my thoughts and reflect on the events that led us here.

I know I'm not dead, and Andie isn't either. I know the cabin is safe and has everything we need, but I'll never forgive myself for leaving that beach. We could have lived there forever.

I wish we could have had a happy ending here too, but now I see the missiles in the sky. It's only a matter of time until everything's gone. Our home, our family, our lives—I don't know whose missiles they are, and I don't think I want to know. I think about how many lives they will end, but for those who survive, maybe they'll finally have a chance to rebuild and create a better world, free from the conflicts that led to this destruction. It's a bittersweet thought.

I don't want the kids to die, but there's nothing I can do to stop it now; this world was never made for children. Maybe it was always meant to be this way. Maybe it's better this way. I've always been okay with the idea of death, even before the only thing that made me want to live left, and for the first time in his life, Maverick is too.

As the warhead gets closer to the earth, he pulls his son onto his lap as we sit together on the floor of our messy living room. Kingsley wraps a blanket around herself slowly as a single tear falls from her eye. In that moment, a sense of resignation washed over us, as if we had accepted our fate. The impending destruction feels like a twisted mercy, sparing us from the pain and suffering that have filled our lives.

"You'll be with him again," he whispers to me before giving Andie a final kiss on the top of his head. I knew exactly who he meant, and my heart ached, but despite it all, I was happy. It's over now. As we huddled together, the room fell silent, and for the first time in a long while, there was a glimmer of hope in our hearts. We had endured so much, but now we could finally embrace the peace that awaited us. I smiled. I never thought death could feel like this.

Epilogue