Chapter 42

                   Lan's POV

They say with love comes desire and desire breeds intimacy. But at this point I don't feel ready, for I know what's to come.

I could feel his hand on my skin making me nervous.

He snuggled his face in my neck. Breathing on my skin. His tongue licking me.

"Mark--Mark... you're drunk. I-I don't think we should do this.." I stuttered pushing his hand away.

He raised his head looking into my eyes. Hurt passed through his eyes.

"I'm not drunk, I know what I'm doing. Don't you want this too?" He asked looking tense.

Do I want this? That should be an easy question but it's not.

"O-of cause I do but--"

"Then that settles it,all that matters is that we want the same thing" He held my hands, a smile on his face.

"Lan you don't know how much I have longed for you. I didn't push it because I knew you weren't ready yet. I want you so much Lan" He expressed, eyes like glass about to break.

He's right. He's been patient and loving towards me. I should do this.

"I-i haven't been intimate with anyone before Mark." I explained. My cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

He held my cheeks lifting my head up.

"Neither have I. You're my first Lan. First boy and first ever experience. I want us to have this experience together" He said.

"Will you let me love you Lan?" He asked staring into my eyes. His eyes were like a window to his heart. I could see the amount of love and affection he had for me.

And very soon I'd feel it too. I'm frightened. I haven't done anything sexual before and now this.

What if it all goes wrong? What if I mess it up?

"Lan? Lan!" He called out waiting for a reply.

I nodded in response and just like fireworks in the sky, his eyes lit up.

Am I about to make a mistake I'd regret?

I don't know how I feel about doing this, but the happiness in his eyes was too much to see being put out.

I would feel so guilt to do that to him. How bad could it be?

He got up leaning on his arm and pulled me closer to the center of the bed.

I clutched my fingers nervous. Will it hurt?

He leaned over me, wiping the drops of sweat on my forehead I didn't notice.

"Don't worry,I won't hurt you. Relax" He said in a soothing voice. His palm sweeping the fringes of my hair away.

I sucked in a breathe trying to calm my racing heart.

'It'll be fine lan. You want this too don't you? Relax '

He leaned in slowly taking his time to make me comfortable.

His soft lips crashed on mine. I shut my eyes instinctively trying to enjoy the moment. I'm here with Mark, my boyfriend, nothing else matters.

His hand made its was into my shirt as our lips moved in sync and union.

He rubbed my stomach causing goosebumps to appear on my skin.

The kiss was slow and sensual like he was engraving it into his memory. He wrapped his hand on my neck pulling my head closer. His tongue sizzled its way into my mouth. He tugged on my lips,a moan escaping my mouth.

"Mmmh... You taste so good Lan...." He moaned deeping the kiss. A moan escaped my mouth. I wrapped my hands around his neck pulling him closer.

The kiss became more fast and sluppy. His tongue didn't miss any spot in my mouth.

His hand kept moving till it touched the little bud on my chest. I felt so sensitive that I let out a moan in his mouth.

He swallowed my moan, his lips moving faster.

He pulled away slowly and stared at my face, his eyes mainly on my lips.

My breathing haggered. My mind felt clouded as I tried to gather my thoughts.

I licked my wet lips instinctively.

"Fuck Lan! Don't do that!" He complained looking to be in much pain.

I stared at him confused. Did I perhaps hurt him somehow?

"Do what?" I asked in a quiet voice I couldn't recognize as mine.

He leaned forward his finger rubbing my wet lips as he bite his.

"Whenever you lick your lips like that you make me not want to stop" He breathed out heavily leaning his head on mine.

We stared at each other in the eyes looking disoriented. Passion and desire filled the air.

"Then why did you?" I asked breathlessly. I don't know what I'm doing but desire was filling my mind.

His eyes widened in surprise. He shook his head sitting up on my knee.

He held the hem of my shirt and pulled it off throwing it in a corner. His eyes were like lasers as they watched my body. His eyes roaming all over my body. He seem to be in a daze making me feel insecure.

I bite the insides of my lips covering my chest up with my hands feeling shy.

He pulled my hands away, a serious look on his face" Don't ever cover up in front of me again" He ordered. His tone an octave low.

I watched his body as he took off his shirt, his eyes not leaving mine.

' This is it....'

My heart was hammering at the thought of what was about to happen.

He tugged his belt pulling it off, his trouser next. Only his boxer's was on.

I gulped nervously.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked one more time.

I nodded.

He pulled my trouser down from my waist. His hands grabbed my boxer's next. I covered my face in shame and fright.

This was getting more serious by the minute.

I could feel as he pulled my boxer's down slowly,his fingers feeling the sides of my hips.

My head blared in alarm. That's when I realized---

'I wasn't ready yet!!! I don't want to do this!!!'

'Lord stop this-- somehow!!'

Immediately, my phone rang in my pocket on the floor making him halt. I sighed in relief as I opened my eyes.

"Do you wanna answer it?" He asked.

I nodded immediately not wasting time.

He nodded and moved away lying beside me.

I sprang up immediately heading for my trouser.

I pulled my phone out, pulling my boxer's up as it was below my waist line and answered the call.

My eyes immediately zeroed in on Mark on the bed who was watching me immediately I heard what the caller said.

' He will be so upset but this is my saving grace.I won't need to explain why I suddenly backed out '

"I will be there" I replied ending the call.

I wore my trousers immediately heading for my shirt. I could feel his eyes on my back but I was too nervous to look or explain.

I wore my shirt, brushing my head with my hand.

"Ever gonna tell me who that was? Or why you're dressing?" He snapped sounding offended.

'Here goes...'

I turned around to stare at him and oh boy does he look upset. He folded his arm behind his head an angry look on his face.

Well I don't blame him, I'd be upset if something like that happened to me.

But it did---and instead of being upset, I feel relieved. Something is definitely wrong with me.

"Sorry, that was my mom, she wants me home immediately. I'm sorry" I explained apologizing

"This late? Their is hardly a cab out there by this time"

"I-i know but she sounded upset. I'm sorry, I really have to go. Maybe rain check?" I asked staring at him.

He sighed and looked away upset.

"Yeah sure" He replied.

"Let me walk you out" He said already getting up.

"No don't worry, you need to rest, I can find my way out" I smiled already heading towards the door.

"Love you Mark"  I mumbled holding the door nob. He hummed not replying.

He is definitely still upset.

I walked out of his street standing outside the main road waiting for a cab. I was anxious, worried and scared all for different reasons.

Damon sounded like he was in a really bad shape when he called.

"He said he needs me" I muttered under my breathe still in disbelief.

Fortunately enough a taxi stopped in front of me.

I sat inside worried. My feet couldn't keep still.

The taxi stopped in front of a closed cafe and on the floor outside the cafe sat Damon, his head rested on the wall with his eyes shut.

I begged the taxi driver to wait as I hurried out into the cold towards him.

"Damon? Damon let's go, it's not safe here" He was pretty heavy but I pulled him up. He was drunk. He drank?

He chuckled wrapping his hand around my shoulder.

"I'm the one not safe" He said.

I pulled him towards the taxi and put him in, sitting down beside him.

He leaned away looking outside the other window.

'What happened to him?'

"Where to sir?" The taxi driver asked.

I don't know where he lives!

'What do I say?'

"Brookes road plan 5"

I turned to stare at Damon in surprise. His eyes met mine as he raised a brow.

"What? Think I'm too drunk to remember my house address?" He asked.

'If he is okay, then why did he call me here?'