Chapter 54

                        Lan's POV

It feels like my heart just stopped. Like what just happened was a dream. His eyes. I can't forget what I saw in them. Betrayal, pain and what hurts the most is the fact that I am the cause of that pain.

I betrayed him. I hurt him. I cheated on him, just like Dad did. The realization that I am just like my dad hit me making me sob louder.

Pearl cradled me in her arms. My head lead on her thighs. His fingers running through my hair trying to calm me down. But it won't help. I can't calm down. Not when Mark is in so much pain. I should have told him the truth. Why didn't I?

"Lan baby don't think too much. Please it will all be fine" Pearl said trying to calm me. Her voice was so low like she was walking on eggshells around me. Like if it was any louder I'd break.

"I--It won't. Don't say that as if you know" My voice cracked as I held her legs tighter.

"It's all my fault Pearl. I should have told him" I said guilt eating away in me.

"Don't say that. Don't blame yourself like that Lan. You didn't know this would happen. You were scared. If anyone should be blamed it should be that Damon guy" Pearl said with so much venom.

I raised my head and stared at her in the eyes.

"Don't say that. Don't lie to me just because you're my friend. I-I caused this" I broke out in a terrible sob. My shoulders shaking with every cry that escapes my mouth.

Pearl hugged me.

"I-if y-you keep crying like that, I will cry too. My heart is breaking here Lanny" Her voice broke like she was about to cry her own.

I raised my head from her shoulder looking at the mess I made on her shoulder. I wiped the snort on my nose with my sleeve staring at her.

Her eyes were watered and her lips in a pout.

"Oh pearl.... you're really about to cry?" I asked my heart overwhelmed with so much emotion.

She wiped her eyes and slapped my head and chuckled.

"Of cause. What should I do when my only best friend is crying. If I can't help then the least I can do is cry along right?"

A smile bloomed on my lips as I pulled her in a bone crushing hug. I love her so much.

"I-I l-love you so much" I said.

"I love you too Lanny" She replied hugging me tighter.

"I promise you everything will be okay soon okay?"

I nodded still holding her close.

~~~

At the back of the school on a bench, Mark sat there, his face filled with so much tears. His eyes were red and fists clutched tightly.

He has been crying so much that his voice couldn't produce any more sobs. Only tears flowed down his eyes. Tears of pain,anger, betrayal.

"Hey.."

He looked up and saw Jacob leaning on the wall staring at him, pity in his eyes. He walked towards him and sat beside him not knowing how to comfort him.

"How are you feeling?" Jacob asked and what a stupid question it was.

Mark chuckled and turned towards him.

"I don't know Jacob, how does it look like I'm feeling huh?" Mark asked sarcastically.

Jacob ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"That was a lame question, I know. I'm sorry, I-I don't know what to say." Jacob admitted.

"Then don't say anything" Mark replied looking at the floor.

They sat in silence for a while before Jacob sighed and turned towards Mark.

"Do you love him?" He asked softly.

Mark ran his fingers through his hair and looked at the sky chuckling.

He faced Jacob staring into his eyes.

"He was my world Jacob. I loved him with everything that is in me. He was so warm and sweet and silly. I-I loved h-him..." Jacob replied his voice breaking at the end.

New tears rolled down his cheeks.

"You used past tense. Does that mean you don't love his anymore?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know Jacob. It hurts. It hurts so bad, that I can't breath. My heart is shattered" Mark said pointing at his chest. His eyes held so much pain and anguish.

Jacob feeling his pain pulled him in, his hand wrapping around his shoulder. Mark rested his head on his shoulder and sobbed not minding that fact that it wasn't so masculine of him. After all, the school was empty.

His emotions were high, breaking him slowly.

"W-why did he do that to me? Why? Why?" He asked pulling Jacob's shirt and crying.

"He made a mistake. Just listen to him." Jacob said.

Mark shook his head. "I gave him my heart. I trusted him but he didn't trust me. If he had told me just once then Damon wouldn't have succeeded today. He likes him you know. I have seen the fire in his eyes when he stares at Lan." Mark told Jacob.

Jacob kept quiet listening to him.

"I hate them. I hate them so much!" Mark gritted out sobbing loudly.

"Don't say that. It's okay. Cry it all out" Jacob said consoling him.

"Everything is ruined. I-I love him so so much" Mark cried out. His eyes red. He looked like a frigal kid who would break if held roughly. He looked broken.

**

Lan laid on his bed rolling himself into a ball. It took alot for him to be able to send Pearl back home.

Everything was ruined. He thought.

The cold wind blew with so much force in his room, goosebumps coating his skin but he felt weak. He didn't care at this point if his window was open or not.

His mind was filled with grief and pain. He turned away from his window, pushing the duvet away, his heart telling him he deserves worse.

"Lan?"

That voice. The cause of all his misery and tears. He turned towards the window to stare at Damon standing their with his hands tucked in his pocket.

As much as he wanted to get up and slap him and push him away, he didn't. He felt weak. Tired. He turned away from him and shut his eyes.

The wind around his lessend as Damon shut the window.

He felt the bed sink behind him but his heart and mind had shut down. He wasn't ready for anything. He couldn't argue or yell so he let him be.

Damon moved closer towards him and wrapped his hand around him cautiously. He laid his head on his head.

"I am sorry Lan. I don't know why I did that. I shouldn't have. I am so---"

"Please don't say it. Cause the more I hear you talk or say sorry, is the more I want to kill you. You got want you wanted, now don't fake an apology and let me sleep. I'm tired"Lan replied, his voice low from so much crying he did earlier.

He turned around and held Damon close hugging his body. He laid his head on his chest and shut his eyes. Damon stilled looking surprised and confused.

"I hate you Damon. The more I feel your breathe on my neck, the more angry I become. But I can't do this now. Not today. Just don't say anything. Just be still." Lan said with a quiet voice letting sleep lure him away.