The ends of Kayaba's mouth twisted, and he gave an exaggerated
shrug, hands wide.
"That was a surprise. Almost like a story event in a singleplayer RPG, isn't it? She shouldn't have been able to recover from
that paralysis…As I said, quite unexpected."
But I couldn't even hear him. My every emotion was aflame,
burning out, plunging into deep, black despair.
I had lost my reason to do anything.
Fighting in this virtual world, returning to the real world, continuing on with my life—it was all meaningless. When my lack of
strength led to my guildmates dying those many months ago, I
should have joined them in death. I'd never have met Asuna. I'd
never have made the same mistake again.
And I didn't want her to commit suicide? How could I have
been so foolish, so shallow? I didn't understand a thing. How
could anyone live with such utter emptiness…?
I gazed down absently at Asuna's rapier, gleaming on the
ground. I reached out and picked it up.
I stared at the frail, thin blade, hoping to find some trace,
some record of her existence there, but there was nothing. Not a
single fragment of its owner was present in that shining reflection. I slowly climbed to my feet, one of my swords in one hand,
Asuna's rapier in the other.
Enough. I would take my memories of the few days I'd been
able to spend with her and then go to the same place.
I felt as though someone called my name from behind me.
But I didn't stop. I pulled back the sword in my right hand and
struck at Kayaba. I took two or three ungainly steps forward, then
thrust the blade.
It wasn't a skill, not even a proper attack. Kayaba swung his
shield and easily deflected the attempt with a pitying look, then
buried his longsword in my chest.
I looked down passively at the metal glimmer sunk deep into my
body. There was nothing to think. Just the objective resignation
of my end.
In the right corner of my vision, my HP bar slowly drained.
Perhaps my accelerated senses had not worn down yet, because I
could see the bar diminishing, dot by dot. I closed my eyes. In the
moment that my mind ceased to exist, I wanted to see nothing
but Asuna's smile.
Even with my eyes closed, the HP bar was still there. The strip
of red surely and steadily shrank. It felt as though the system itself, the god that had granted me life for so long, was silently licking its chops, waiting for the moment it would claim me forever.
Ten more pixels. Five. Then…
I suddenly felt a rage the likes of which I'd never experienced.
It was this. This was what had killed Asuna. Even Kayaba, its
creator, was only a part of it now. This was what had ripped apart
Asuna's body, blasted her mind, enveloped me—the will of the
system itself. The digital god, mocking its players' ignorance,
swinging its merciless scythe.
What are we? Foolish puppets, dancing on the unreachable
strings of the SAO system? If the system says yes, we survive, and
if it says no, we perish. Is that all we are?
My HP bar ran out, as if to laugh at my helpless rage. A small
purple message appeared front and center: YOU ARE DEAD. God
had spoken.
A powerful chill ran through my body. Sensation faded. I could
feel countless lines of code setting me free, slicing me into pieces,
preparing to feast. The chill rose from my spine to my neck, then
flooded into my head. The nerves of my skin, sound, light—everything grew further away. My body was dissolving—turning into
polygonal shards—dispersing…
But I wasn't going to play along.
I opened my eyes. I could see. I could still see. In fact, I could
see the look of shock on Kayaba's face, his hand still gripping the
sword in my chest.
Perhaps my senses had accelerated again, and the instantaneous process of my avatar exploding was happening in extreme
slow motion. The contours of my body were already softening,
dots of light spilling off and blinking out here and there, but I still
existed. I was still alive.
"Raaaahh!"
I screamed. I screamed and resisted. Against the system.
Against the Absolute.
Asuna, spoiled and lonely Asuna, had wrung out every last
ounce of willpower to beat that irreversible paralysis and thrown
herself before a strike that couldn't be blocked. Just to save me. I
couldn't let her sacrifice go to waste. It wasn't an option. Even if
death was ultimately inescapable…there was one thing…left to
do…
I squeezed hard, knitting the sensation back as if it were a fine
thread. The texture of what I held—Asuna's rapier—flooded back
into my hand. Now I could feel her will exuding from it. I could
hear her voice, urging me on.
My left arm began to move, achingly slow. As it rose bit by bit,
the contours shuddered, visual artifacts peeling off. But I never
stopped moving. Inch by inch, I raised my arm, my soul flaking
away.
Unbelievable pain shot through my body, the apparent price
for my heresy, but I gritted my teeth and kept moving. The distance, just inches, was unbearably long. I was freezing cold. Only
my left arm had any sensation left, and the chill was quickly eating through it. My body was crumbling, spilling like a delicate ice
sculpture.
But finally, at long last, the shining silver tip of the sword
touched the center of Kayaba's chest. He did not move. The shock
on his face had worn off—only a peaceful smile was left on his
slightly opened lips.
Half by my own will, half driven by some mysterious unknown
force, my arm closed the final distance. Kayaba shut his eyes and
accepted the rapier piercing his chest. His HP bar emptied.
For an instant we both stood there, each with his sword stuck
through the other. All of my willpower spent, I gazed into space.
Is this…what you wanted…?
I never heard her response, but there was a momentary
thump, a pulse of warmth gripping my left hand. I released the
strength that was keeping my body from shattering entirely.
As my consciousness slid into nothingness, I could feel my
body disintegrating into a thousand pieces and Kayaba's doing
the same. Two familiar bursts of sound overlapped. Now it all re-
ally was drifting away, separating faster and faster. Was that Agil
and Klein calling my name? And beyond that, the artificial tone of
the system's voice…
The game has been cleared. The game has been cleared. The
game has been…