My giant blade struck the guardian's silver mask directly,
splitting it in two. But the next foe was already descending
through the white flames that erupted from its disintegrating
body.
I gritted my teeth when I saw that this one's sword was already
in an attack trajectory. Judging that I didn't have the time to
evade, I held up the back of my left fist to deflect the swing. The
resulting shock seemed to reverberate to the bone, and I saw my
HP bar lose a full tenth of its value. But the deflection was successful at keeping the enemy's blow from my body, and the momentum left the knight unbalanced. I brought my sword down on
its neck.
Because my attack speed had been sapped by the force of the
enemy's blow, this swing was not a one-hit kill. Meanwhile, a new
guardian swooped in from the right. I twisted around to meet the
fresh threat and used the spin to kick the wounded knight's mask
with a booted heel.
Thankfully, my avatar had inherited the Martial Arts skill data
of SAO Kirito—a skill that was nearly useless in ALO—and the resulting blow was strong enough to finish the job. The guardian
burst into flame, the death effect distorting its bellow of pain.
In just the nick of time, I was able to stop the third knight's
swing with my sword.
"Seyaaa!!"
I walloped the knight's mirror mask with my left fist. It splintered with a sharp crack, and the creature roared in agony.
"Fall! Fall!!" I screamed. I was possessed with a burning desire
for destruction that hadn't been present during the pitched battle
against the undine warriors in Jotunheim early this morning. I
thrust my sword against the knight's neck and punched with my
left hand, over and over.
This was the world I'd once lived in. Wandering alone in the
depths of a dungeon, my soul battered by a constant stream of
deadly battles, swinging my sword as though to build my own
gravestone out of the corpses of monsters.
My fist finally broke through the mask, and a shining, sticky
liquid sprayed outward. I followed the voice inside me that demanded murder, plunging my hand farther into the light. When
my entire arm burst through the back of the guardian's head, its
body crumbled away into the familiar white flames.
My heart had been as hard and dry as stone back then. Beating
the game and freeing all of the players was the furthest thing
from my mind. I shut out all other souls, seeking only the next
battleground.
Another four or five knights swooped down on me, brandishing shining blades and screeching like monstrous birds. A fierce
grin stretched across my lips as I snapped my wings and plunged
into their midst. My nerves trembled at the feel of the ferocious
acceleration, and electric-blue sparks danced across my vision—
the pulse connecting my brain to my false body.
"Raaaahhhhh!!"
With a war cry, I swung the massive sword in a straight, twohanded swipe. Their weapons deflected backward, and I cartwheeled through the air, using the acceleration to strike at their
necks. Two dull thuds later, a pair of mirrored heads flew free.
The flames of their deaths were like white thorns raking my
nerves, and they only built up the blaze within me.
It was only in the arena of death that I could know I was alive.
Only by throwing myself into hopeless battles, pushing myself to
the absolute limit until I finally collapsed, could I live up to what I
owed those who had died before my eyes.
I redirected myself without stopping the rotation's momentum, striking at the chest of another guardian, my right foot like a
drill. The resulting crunch had an unpleasant, damp softness to
it, but I shot straight through the guardian's body as it burst into
flames. Two blades came from left and right as I finally came to a
stop. I used my sword to block the right and my other forearm to
block the left, ignoring the HP cost.
Wasting no time, I grabbed the right guardian's wrist.
"Grrruaahh!!" Howling, I swung the creature high overhead
and into the one on the left. A heavy thrust through both bodies,
and they were dead.
No matter how many of them came for me, I would keep fighting. Just as I had been once before, I would be cleansed by the
flames of slaughter, my heart growing harder and sharper…
No—that's not it…
There were people out there who had done their best to give
water to my parched soul. Klein, Agil, Silica, Lisbeth…and Asuna.
I…I'm here to save Asuna, and finally bring an end to that
awful world…
I raised my head and looked at the dome. The stone gate was
surprisingly close. But when I tried to fly higher toward it, something whirred over and pierced my right leg.
It was an arrow of light, gleaming coldly. A rain of them
poured down, as though waiting for the moment I held still
enough to target. Two, three, they continued to land, rapidly
draining my remaining HP.
I scanned the area quickly and saw that some of the guardians
had fanned out at long range, left hands raised, chanting spells in
those unpleasant, distorted voices. Another wave of glowing arrows whistled down upon me.
"Gaaahh!"
I swung my greatsword to deflect the arrows, but several more
struck true, sending my HP into the yellow zone. I spared another
hard look at the gate.
It would be very difficult to defeat all of those long-range attackers alone, so I charged straight for the gate, hoping to power
my way through. The hail of shining arrows pierced my body, but
the goal was just ahead. I gritted my teeth against the blows and
stretched out my left hand for the stone door…
But just seconds away, my back was jolted by a powerful
shock. I turned back to see a guardian at point-blank range, mirror mask twisted in a triumphant grin, its massive sword stuck
into my back. I lost my balance and all slowed down.
Like white vultures, a dozen knights swooped in for the kill
from every direction. A hail of dull thuds rocked my body as their
swords struck true over and over. I didn't even have time to check
my HP.
A vortex of black fire, tinged with blue, swirled around me. It
took me a few moments to realize that I was seeing my End
Flames. Small purple words floated up against the backdrop of
fire: You are dead.
In the next instant, my corpse shot apart.
Like switches being flipped off, I quickly lost all physical sensation. I had a moment of uncontrollable panic as my memory
flashed back to the final battle on the seventy-fifth floor of Aincrad, and the moment Heathcliff and I killed each other.
But, of course, this time I did not lose consciousness. I was
only experiencing the proper "in-game death" I hadn't tasted
since the beta test of SAO.
It was a strange feeling. All the color drained from my vision,
leaving only a purplish monotone. Directly ahead there was a
timer marked RESURRECTION COUNTDOWN in the same purple system font. Beyond that, I could see the silver guardians roaring
happily at their victory and returning to the stained-glass windows on the ceiling of the dome.
There was no bodily sensation. I couldn't move, because the
only thing left of me was the same tiny Remain Light that I'd seen
from all the players I'd defeated so far. I felt lonely, small, pathetic.
That's right—it was miserable. But that was what I deserved
for thinking, somewhere in the deepest parts of my brain, that
this world was still only just a game. My strength was only in the
numbers assigned to my character, but I'd acted like I could transcend the game, surpass its limits and do anything.
I wanted to see Asuna. I wanted to be held in her warm, healing embrace, and to set all of my thoughts and emotions free. But
I couldn't reach her anymore.
The seconds ticked down. I couldn't remember what exactly
would happen when the timer reached zero.
Whatever the case, there was only one thing I could do: crawl
back to this place and challenge the guardians again. No matter
how many times I lost, no matter if it was even possible or not, I'd
keep doing it until the moment my very existence was permanently scraped out of this world for good…
It was then that a shadow glinted across my vision, which was
pointed straight downward.
Someone had come through the still-open entrance and was
racing upward at astonishing speed. I tried to shout at them not
to come, but of course, there was no sound. I looked upward to
see the guardian knights dripping out of those windows again.
The white giants passed right by me, screeching in that skincrawling way, bearing down on the intruder. I'd just learned from
experience that they were too much to tackle alone. I prayed the
person would run away, but my would-be rescuer was making a
beeline straight for me.
Several of the frontmost guardians swung their enormous
blades downward. The intruder nimbly darted away, but one of
the delayed swings found purchase. Even that mere graze sent the
fragile challenger tumbling away.
But the intruder used that momentum to speed even faster
around the line of knights and onward. As the figure grew closer,
the number of guardians protecting the dome grew and grew,
thick in the air, their screeches echoing.
The attacker swung a long katana but used it only for defense,
guiding the enemy into clumps and using them as a barrier to
avoid attack from afar. The valiant flight of the mystery invader
was touching, and more than a little painful to watch.
Once within range, I heard a passionate, teary-eyed scream.
"Kirito!!"
It was Leafa. The sylph reached out with both hands and enveloped me.
We were already close to the gate, and the knights crowded the
space above to block us out, a multilayered wall of flesh. But once
Leafa had me safe and sound, she turned and sped back downward toward the exit.
The chanting of a spell echoed forth from behind us, and
promptly a hailstorm of bright arrows roared past. Leafa spun
right and left, trying to evade the projectiles, but they were as
thick as monsoon rain, and I felt the vibration of each one that
landed.
"Hrg!!"
Leafa held her breath but did not slow her descent. The arrows
thudded heavily into her, and I could see her HP bar fall below
half. But the follow-up was not just arrows of light: Two guardian
knights closed in from either side, their swords crossed at right
angles.
She took evasive maneuvers via a right-hand tailspin, and successfully avoided one of the blades. But the other massive metal
bludgeon caught her square on the back.
"Ah…"
Leafa was tossed as easily as a ball and slammed into the approaching ground. After several bracing bounces, she slid across
the floor and came to a hard stop. Several of the guardians descended to the ground to finish her off.
She propped herself up with a hand and beat her wings once.
That was enough to roll her across the ground—and suddenly my
vision was full of bright sunlight. We were outside the dome.
Leafa threw her body against the cobblestones and panted
heavily, chilled with fear. Somehow, despite the desperate odds,
they'd made it out. She looked back to see the giant stone doors
beginning to close and the white giants leaping back up to their
dome. The event's timer must have run out.
There was a small, rippling black flame in her arms. She
wanted to cradle Kirito, to whisper reassurances, but now was not
the time for indulging in emotion. She sat up and crawled over to
the stone statue nearby, resting her back against its feet as she
waved a hand and opened her menu.
Leafa hadn't mastered water and holy magic yet, so she
couldn't cast the high-level resurrection spell. Her only option
was to extract a small blue bottle called "Dew of the World Tree."
She closed the window and popped the cap on the bottle,
pouring the sparkling liquid onto Kirito's Remain Light. A threedimensional magic sigil very similar to that of a resurrection spell
formed, and a few seconds later, the familiar shape of the spriggan reappeared.
"…Kirito," she called out tearfully, still sitting down. Kirito returned a sad smile of his own, knelt on the stones, and put his
hand on top of Leafa's.
"Thank you, Leafa. But please don't push yourself like that for
my sake. I'll be fine…I don't want to put you through any more
trouble."
"Trouble? No…"
She wanted to explain to him that it wasn't like that, but he
was on his feet already. He spun around—and headed right back
toward the door into the World Tree.
"K-Kirito!" Leafa called out, shocked. Somehow, she got her
trembling legs upright. "W-wait…You can't go alone!"
"You might be right…But I have to do it anyway…" he murmured, his back turned. Leafa felt like a glass statue bearing its
absolute weight limit. She desperately sought the right words, but
her throat felt burned; no voice would emerge. She reached out at
the last moment and grabbed him tight.
She could tell that she was drawn to him. Perhaps this was just
an escape, a different route for her feelings for Kazuto, but at the
same time, she didn't mind that. She knew this feeling was true.
"Please…don't…Come back to the old Kirito…I…I want to tell
you something…"
Kirito enveloped the hand that was holding him. His soft but
firm voice flowed into her ears.
"I'm sorry, Leafa…If I don't go there, nothing is over, and
nothing can begin. I have to see her one more time…"
"I have…to see Asuna again."
For a moment, she didn't understand what she'd heard. The
echo of his words rattled around in the blank space they'd created
in her mind.
"…What…what did…you say…?"
He repeated himself, looking a bit curious.
"Oh…Asuna? That's the name of the person I'm looking for."
"But…but she's—"
Leafa faltered a step, her hands on her mouth.
Images were blotting their way into her frozen brain.
Kazuto in the dojo after their sparring a few days ago.
Kirito's defeat of the salamanders in the Ancient Forest—their
first meeting.
Both boys would swipe their swords to the right at the end of
their fights and put them over their backs. The images aligned
perfectly.
The two silhouettes melted into a spray of light. Leafa opened
her eyes wide, the words barely escaping her trembling lips.
"…Big…Brother…?"
"Huh…?"
Kirito's brows suddenly knotted in suspicion. His jet-black
eyes stared straight into Leafa's. The light in his pupils rippled,
quavered, like a reflection of the moon in water.
"Sugu…? Suguha?"
The spriggan's voice was barely a whisper.
Leafa took several more faltering steps backward. The cobblestones, the town, the World Tree, the very universe around her—
all seemed to be collapsing.
Over the last few days of adventuring with her new friend,
Leafa had felt color and life return to this virtual world. Just flying next to him sent her heart leaping.
She'd be lying if she claimed that loving Kazuto as Suguha and
being attracted to Kirito as Leafa didn't fill her with guilt. But it
was Kirito who had taught her that the world of Alfheim didn't
have to be just an extension of a virtual flight simulator, but another true reality. Because of that, Leafa had realized that the
feelings she felt here were true, not just digital data.
She thought that maybe she could freeze the heart that beat
for Kazuto, bury it deeply, and eventually forget that pain by
being with Kirito. But now the human being who gave the fairy
character life, the one who helped make this world its own reality,
had come into a very sharp and unexpected clarity.
"…This can't be happening…This is so wrong," Leafa wailed to
herself, shaking her head. She couldn't stand to be here for a second longer. She had to turn away and open her menu.
There was no need to even look at the button in the bottomleft corner of her window, or the confirmation prompt it created.
Eyes closed, she passed through the ring of rainbow light and was
soon plunged into darkness.
When she woke up in her own bed, the first thing she saw was
the deep blue of Alfheim's sky. The color that had always filled
her with longing and nostalgia now caused her nothing but pain.
Suguha slowly pulled off the AmuSphere and held it in front of
her.
"Hih…huu…"
The sobs came pouring from her throat. Her hands impulsively clenched the fragile device, no more than two thin circles of
plastic. It began to bend, creaking faintly with the pressure.
She almost wanted to break the AmuSphere, to permanently
sever her pathway to that other world—but she couldn't. She felt
too sorry for Leafa, the girl living on the other side of the ring.
Suguha put the device on top of the bed and sat up. She put
her feet on the floor, closed her eyes, and hung her head. She just
didn't want to think about anything.
A quiet knock on the door broke the silence. It was followed by
a voice with the same inflection, though different from Kirito's.
"Can I come in, Sugu?"
"No! Don't open the door!" she shouted abruptly. "Just…let
me be alone…"
"What's wrong, Sugu? I mean, I was sure surprised, too…" he
continued, clearly confused. "If you're mad that I was using the
NerveGear again, I apologize. But I had to do it."
"No, it's not that."
She couldn't stop the current of emotion from tearing through
her. Suguha leaped to her feet and strode to the door. She turned
the knob and pulled, and there was Kazuto. He looked at her with
obvious concern.
"I…I…" Her feelings turned into tears and tears into words before she could stop them. "I-I betrayed my own heart. I betrayed
my love for you."
At last she had spoken the word love to his face, but it slashed
her chest, her throat, her lips, like a knife. The pain seared at her,
but she kept going.
"I was going to forget, to give up, to fall in love with Kirito. In
fact, I already had. And yet…and yet…"
"Huh…?"
For several seconds he gaped at her silently. Then he whispered, "You love…? But…we're…"
"I know."
"…Huh…?"
"I already know."
Oh no, she thought. But she couldn't stop. She put all of her
raging emotions into her stare and pushed on, lips trembling.
"We aren't real siblings. I've known that for over two years!!"
No. Suguha hadn't asked her mother to hold back on revealing
that she knew the truth to Kazuto just so that she could hurl her
feelings at him like this. She wanted time to properly consider
what it meant, and what she could do about it.
"When you quit practicing kendo and started avoiding me
years ago, it was because you learned the truth, wasn't it? You
were keeping your distance because you knew I wasn't your real
sister. So why have you decided to be nice to me now?!"
No matter how much she knew she ought to stop, she couldn't.
As Suguha's words echoed through the cold hallway, Kazuto's
black eyes gradually lost their expression.
"I…I was so happy when you came back from SAO. I was so
happy when you started treating me the way you used to. I
thought you finally saw me for who I was."
At last, two teardrops hit her cheeks. She rubbed at them
fiercely and strained to push the voice from her lungs.
"But…after this, I'd rather you kept being cold to me. Then I
wouldn't have realized that I love you…I wouldn't have been sad
to learn about Asuna…and I wouldn't have fallen in love with Kirito to replace you!!"
Kazuto's eyes grew just a bit wider, and then his expression
froze. After several seconds in which everything seemed to have
stopped, his eyes wavered, then looked down. A single word came
from his mouth.
"…Sorry…"
In the two months since he'd awakened, Kazuto's eyes had always been full of a tender, gentle light when he looked at Suguha.
Now that light was gone, and a deep darkness had taken its place.
Suguha felt sharp regret pierce her chest as painfully as any
blade.
"…Just leave me alone."
She couldn't stand to look at him any longer. Suguha slammed
the door to escape the guilt and self-loathing that threatened to
crush her. She stumbled back several steps until her heel hit the
bed, and she fell over onto it.
Suguha curled up into a ball on top of the sheets, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs. The tears poured forth,
leaving small blots on the white sheets as they soaked into the
fabric.
I stood for a long moment in front of the shut door. Eventually
I turned around, leaned back against it, and slid down to a sitting
position.
Suguha's suspicion that I'd been keeping my distance because
she wasn't my real sister was basically correct. But I was only ten
when I'd noticed the blank field in the census data and asked my
parents what it meant. But there hadn't been a direct intention
behind my estrangement with her.
That was the point when I'd lost my perspective of personal
distance with everyone, not just Suguha.
I had no memories of my actual parents, and Minetake and
Midori Kirigaya had loved me exactly the same both before and
after I knew the truth, so it wasn't an external shock to my system. Instead, the event planted the seed of a very odd sensation
deep inside of me, where it took root.
It was a kind of suspicion, a constant question in every interaction: Who is this person, really? No matter how long I'd known
them, no matter how well I knew them—even my own family
members—I couldn't prevent that thought from running through
my brain: Who is this person, exactly? Do I really know them?
Perhaps that was one thing that drove me to the world of online games. On the Net, it was natural for every character to have
a secret inner side. No one really knew anyone. Interacting in this
world of falsehood where that was taken for granted just seemed
comfortable to me. I plunged headfirst into Net gaming around
fifth or sixth grade, and never looked back. It would eventually
take me into a world that I wouldn't escape for an entire two
years.
If it weren't for the whole "game of death" thing, Sword Art
Online could have been my paradise. A world of false dreams
from which I'd never wake. An unending virtual realm.
I tried to play the role of Kirito, just an unfamiliar nobody.
But being trapped in that full-dive experience and unable to
escape eventually led me to one pure truth:
The real world and the false world were ultimately the same
thing.
Human beings only recognized the world based on the information their brains received. The only thing that made an online
game a "false" world was that it could be left behind with the simple flip of a switch.
SAO was a world that my brain recognized with electronic
pulses, and a world that couldn't be escaped.
And that description matched the real world perfectly.
Once I had that epiphany, I understood how empty the doubts
that had plagued me since the age of ten really were. There was
no meaning to wondering who anyone really was. All you could
do was trust and accept them. The people you knew really were
the people you knew.
I could hear the faint sound of Suguha sobbing through the
door.
When I first saw her face after returning alive from SAO, I was
openly and honestly happy to see her again. I knew that in order
to make up for the years of distance that my pointless issue had
caused, I'd need to close the gap by treating her the way I truly
wanted.
But it seemed that over those two years, Suguha had discov-
ered her own truth about me. She'd learned that I was her cousin,
not her brother, and the shift in the distance she felt was surely
alarming and strange to her, a challenge to accept. And, assuming
that she didn't know the truth, I'd been totally unaware of what
was happening to her.
I'd revealed my feelings toward Asuna on multiple occasions
in Suguha's presence. I'd even cried over Asuna in front of her. I
could never have imagined that it was hurting her so much to
hear that.
And that wasn't all.
Suguha had never been one for computers and video games. It
must have been because of me that she'd started on a VRMMO of
her own. Suguha had spent countless hours diving into that virtual world, trying to know more about me, creating another version of herself. Leafa, the girl who'd helped me time and time
again in Alfheim…was Suguha.
Yui had said the reason I ran into her first thing after logging
in was possibly due to another person in the vicinity being logged
in to ALO. It wasn't just the local vicinity, it was from the same
damn house; our global IP was the same. Leafa and I had been
fated to meet this way, but even as Kirito, I couldn't think of anyone but Asuna, and I hurt Leafa just like I hurt Suguha.
I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them so hard it was practically audible, then jumped vigorously to my feet.
Now was the time to do something for Suguha. If there was
one thing the people of SAO had taught me, it was to reach out
when words weren't enough.
The loud knock jolted Suguha out of her detached haze, and
she hunched tighter in response.
She wanted to shout out not to open the door, but the only
thing that left her throat was ragged breath. But Kazuto didn't
turn the knob—he spoke through the door.
"Sugu…I'll be waiting on the northern terrace of Alne."
His voice was calm and gentle. She could sense him leaving
her door. Farther down the hallway, the door to his room opened
and shut, and silence descended.
Suguha shut her eyes tight and hunched up again. The tears
that squeezed out made little plips as they hit the floor.
There was no shock or agitation in Kazuto's voice. After all the
hurtful things she'd said to him, he must have internalized it.
He's so strong. I can't be like him…
She thought of that painful night several days ago. Like Suguha now, Kazuto had been curled up on his bed. Just like her,
he'd been crying for the sake of someone he couldn't reach. He'd
been like a helpless child with no solution to his problem.
The next day, she'd met Kirito. That meant that Kazuto had
somehow found information that his sleeping beloved was in
ALfheim Online—on the top of the World Tree—and thrown himself into that quest. He'd wiped his tears aside and grabbed his
sword.
And I told him to hang in there. Not to give up. And yet here I
am, still crying…
Suguha slowly opened her eyes. There was a shining crown
ahead of her.
She reached out, lifted it, and set it on her head.
The pale sunlight falling through the wispy clouds seemed to
soften the ancient stone architecture of Alne.
Kirito was not at the log-in location. She checked the map to
see that the entrance to the dome was on the south end of the
World Tree, while the north side featured a large terrace for
events. He would be waiting for her there.
Now that she'd come this far, she was afraid to see him. She
didn't know what she ought to say, and had no idea what he
might tell her. Leafa took a few dejected steps forward and sat on
a bench to the side of the square.
How many minutes did she spend looking at the ground?
There was a sensation of someone landing nearby, and Leafa
froze, shutting her eyes.
But the person who called her name was not who she expected.
"Arrrgh, I was looking all over for you, Leafa!"
Despite the whiny tinge to the voice, it was energetic and familiar. She looked up with a start to see a sylph with greenishblond hair.
"R-Recon?!"
The emergence of this surprising face made her forget the pain
for a moment. When asked why he was there, Recon put his
hands on his hips and bent over confidently.
"Well, I noticed that Sigurd had left the sewer, so when my
paralysis wore off, I took my shot and poisoned both of the salamanders dead. Then I went off to find him and make him taste
some poison, but he was no longer in sylph territory, so I decided
to just head for Alne myself, and the only way to get through the
mountains was to keep drawing aggro from all the monsters and
foist the trains off on other people until I made it here this morn-
ing. It took all night!"
"So you're saying…you PKed people with monsters…?"
"Look, don't sweat the fine details!"
Recon excitedly plopped down next to Leafa, totally unconcerned with her observation. Then he must have realized that she
was alone, and looked around curiously.
"Where's that spriggan? Did you split up already?"
"Well…"
Leafa chose her words carefully, inching away to put more
space between them. Despite the diversion, there was still a lump
of pain in her chest, and no convenient excuse came to mind. The
next thing she knew, she was baring it all.
"I…I said some awful things to him…I love him, but I said such
hurtful things. I'm an idiot…"
The tears nearly came flooding out again, but Leafa kept them
in. Shinichi Nagata was her classmate in real life, and this was
only a virtual world, so she didn't want to burden him with a
flood of raw emotion. She turned away and spoke quickly.
"I'm sorry for being weird. Forget about it. I'm not going to see
him anymore…so let's just go back to Swilvane…"
No matter how hard she tried to run, in reality they were only
a matter of feet away from each other. But Leafa was still afraid to
see Kirito. She decided she'd ignore his summons, go back to
Swilvane, greet the few people she liked there, then let Leafa go
into a long hibernation. At least until her pain had faded.
Her mind made up, Leafa looked over at Recon, then abruptly
flinched backward.
"Wh…what?!"
Recon's face was as red and puffy as if it had been boiled. His
eyes bulged and his mouth worked soundlessly. For a moment
she forgot they were safe in town, and thought he might have
been hit with a suffocation spell. Recon suddenly darted forward
to grab her hands and held them to his chest.
"Wh-wh-what's happening?!"
"Leafa!" he shouted, so loudly that other players were turning
to look. He leaned over Leafa and stared into her eyes, despite her
best efforts to pull back as far as possible.
"Y-you shouldn't cry! You're not Leafa if you're not smiling all
the time! I…I'll always be with you, in real life or in the game…LL-Leafa—I mean, Suguha…I l-love you!"
The words poured out of him as though he were a broken
faucet. Rather than wait for her answer, he shoved his face even
closer. There was a mad gleam in his normally weak eyes, and his
nostrils were flared wide as his lips closed in on her.
"U-um, hang on…"
Ambushes were Recon's specialty in battle, but this was beyond even that. Leafa couldn't move for the shock that possessed
her body. Recon must have taken that for assent, and loomed
even closer, his body practically covering hers.
"W-wait…stop…"
When he was close enough that she could feel the warmth
breath of his nostrils, Leafa's stun effect finally wore off, and she
clenched a fist.
"I told you…to stop it!!" She tensed and delivered a short but
powerful blow to his solar plexus.
"Gwufh!!"
There was no damaging other players in the safe zone of town,
but there was still a knock-back effect. Recon flew several feet
into the air and crashed down onto a bench. He held his stomach,
writhing in agony.
"Hrrrgh…Th-that was messed up, Leafa…"
"Which part?! Learn to control yourself, you dingus!" she
ranted, finally feeling her face flush. The rage and shame of almost having been kissed roared within her like dragon breath.
She grabbed Recon by the collar and gave him a few more good
punches with her other hand.
"Geh! Agh! O-okay, okay, I'm sorry!!"
He fell off the bench and propped himself up on the paving
stones with his right hand, shaking his head frantically. When
Leafa relaxed her attacking stance, he sat up, cross-legged, and
hung his head.
"Dang it…It doesn't make sense…I thought it was just a matter
of me having the guts to go ahead and tell you…"
"You…" she sighed, "are an idiot."
"Aww…"
He looked like a scolded puppy dog. It was such a ridiculous
expression that Leafa passed straight over exasperation into
laughter. She let out a deep breath, half sigh and half giggle. Her
heart felt as though some of the weight had left it.
Leafa suddenly wondered if she'd been internalizing everything a bit too much. She'd been gritting her teeth the entire time,
afraid of being hurt. Because of that constant backward pressure,
when the dam broke all those feelings poured out in a flood.
She'd hurt someone very important to her.
It might be too late—but she at least wanted to be honest to
herself. Once she realized this, the tension went out of her shoulders. She looked up and murmured, "But that's the part about
you that I don't mind."
"Huh? R-really?!"
Recon hopped up on the bench again and grabbed Leafa's
hand—no lesson learned.
"Don't get cocky, buster!" She slipped out of his grasp and
floated up into the air.
"I'm going to follow your example from time to time. I need
you to wait here, though. And if you actually trail me, you'll get
worse than this!" She brandished her fist menacingly under
Recon's shocked face, then spun around, beat her wings, and flew
up toward the trunk of the World Tree.
After several minutes of flying around the frighteningly massive tree, a wide terrace came into view below. The space was apparently used for flea markets and guild events, but it was empty
today. There was little else on the north side of Alne, so there
weren't even any tourists wandering by.
A small black figure waited at the center of the wide-open
space. It had sharply angled gray wings, and a massive sword
slung diagonally between them.
Leafa took a deep breath, collecting her nerves, and descended
to him.
"…Hey."
Kirito gave her an easy grin, though there was some tension
behind it.
"Thanks for waiting," she replied. Silence followed. The only
sound between them was the whistling of the wind blowing past.
"Sugu," Kirito eventually said. His eyes were shining with serious intent, but Leafa cut him off with the wave of a hand. She
beat her wings and took a step back.
"Let's have a duel, Big Brother. To finish the one we started
the other day."
She put a hand on her katana and his eyes went wide. He
opened his mouth briefly, then shut it.
Kirito's dark eyes stared at her, the deep glimmer the only feature he shared with his real-life counterpart, and he eventually
nodded. He flapped his wings and stepped back.
"All right. No handicaps this time," he said, still grinning, and
put his hand on his sword hilt.
They drew at the same time, the clear, crips sounds overlapping. Leafa held her familiar blade dead still at medium height,
staring at Kirito. He lowered his stance, just barely keeping the
giant sword off the ground. Just as he had the other day.
"You don't have to hold back at the last second. Here goes!!"
They leaped forward as one.
In the instant they closed the gap, Leafa had an epiphany. That
stance of his she'd thought so preposterous during their duel
must have been perfected in this virtual world. After all, he'd
spent every day of those two years fighting for his life.
For the first time, she wanted to know. Wanted to know what
he'd seen, what he'd felt, and how he'd lived in that other world,
that death game that had never been anything but the target of
her hatred.
Leafa brought her katana straight down from overhead. In
Swilvane they'd said her slashes were unavoidable, but Kirito
evaded it with just the slightest of motions. His greatsword came
howling up at her. She brought the katana forward to deflect it,
but the heavy shock left her hands numb.
They each used the backward momentum of the deflection to
leap. Beating their wings, they became two opposing spirals, traveling upward to strike again in midair. There was an explosion of
light and sound, and the earth shook.
As both a fairy warrior and a kendo athlete, Leafa had to admire Kirito's ability. He was equally adept at both offense and defense, as smooth and beautiful as a dance. The longer she
matched his rhythm of strikes and sways, the more Leafa felt that
she was ascending to new heights she'd never experienced before.
None of the duels she'd ever taken part in here had ever truly satisfied her. She'd lost before, but it was always due to some special
quality of the opponent's weapon, or a spell. No one had bested
Leafa through sword skill alone.
Now that she'd finally found someone who was even better,
and he was her beloved, Leafa was filled with something like joy.
Even if they never shared their hearts again, this special moment
was enough for her. In time, she noticed that there were tears
pooling in her eyes.
After several bracing clashes, Leafa let the momentum push
her into a backward leap for some distance. She spread her wings
wide to come to a halt, and raised her katana high, high over her
head.
Kirito seemed to understand that this would be her final attack. He twisted, notching his sword even farther back.
For a moment, all was as still as the surface of a pond on a
windless day.
The tears fell down Leafa's cheeks without a sound, dripping
off her chin and sending ripples through the silence. They moved
together.
She raced downward, as if to set the air on fire. Her long
katana traced an arc of pure light. Kirito was dashing up to meet
her head-on. His sword also burned white, cutting the air in two.
Just as her beloved's blade passed by her head, Leafa let go.
The masterless sword flew forward, an arrow of light. But she
did not follow it with her eyes. She spread her arms wide, ready to
embrace Kirito's blade.
She knew this would not satisfy him. But she didn't have the
right words to apologize for the foolishness of her hurtful statement.
So this was her means of making amends: She'd offer this
other version of herself to his sword.
Arms wide and eyes half-closed, Leafa waited for the moment
to come.
But as her vision melted into white, Kirito flew toward her, his
hands—empty.
"…?!"
She went wide-eyed. In the corner of her vision, she noticed
that, like hers, his sword was spinning off through open air. He'd
discarded his own weapon at the same moment she'd thrown
hers.
Before she had time to ask herself why, they crossed in midair.
Kirito collided with her, his arms also open wide. The impact
knocked the breath from her lungs, and all she could do was cling
to him.
Unable to cancel out the momentum, their bodies spun off
through the air. The world turned into a blurry smear of blue sky
and brown tree.
"Why would—" It was all she could manage get out, somehow.
At the same time, staring into her face from just inches away,
he said, "Why did—"
They both fell silent and let inertia carry them through the
Alfheim sky, staring deeply into each other's eyes. After a while,
Kirito spread his wings to catch the air and slow their rotation.
"I-I wanted to apologize, Sugu. But…I didn't have the right
words…so I was going to let you hit me instead…"
She suddenly felt Kirito's arms tighten around her back.
"I'm so sorry, Sugu. After all that time away…I haven't been
seeing you for who you are. I've been so wrapped up in my own
affairs that I didn't try to hear what you were really saying. I'm
sorry…"
The tears poured out of Leafa's eyes as she in took his words.
"No…I'm the one who…"
But she couldn't continue. Leafa sobbed audibly, burying her
face in his chest.
She was still thinking she wanted the moment to continue forever when the two of them came to a soft landing on the grass.
Kirito continued stroking her head as she sobbed and hiccupped,
but a few minutes later, he began to speak in hushed tones.
"To tell you the truth…I still haven't really come back from
there. It's not over yet. My real life won't start again until she
wakes up…so I still don't know what to think about you, Sugu…"
"…Okay," she murmured, nodding. "I'll be waiting. Waiting for
the moment you truly do come back to our home. I'm here to
help. Tell me…about her. And how it was you came to this
game…"