Prelude

October 29th

Sunny, partly cloudy and windy.

I can't say that dreams have turned into nightmares if they don't cause me any fear, only anguish and deep sadness because of how unfamiliar they are to me. The voice that chases me through the fog and repeats endlessly "here I am", eventually becomes annoying, sometimes a shadow hovers around me, goes unnoticed in the corners of the room, at dusk and dawn, as if I've been watching over.

Once the paranoia of the ghosts dissipated with the daily bath I was able to go for a walk to the area of the cliff where it is allowed, just behind the part cordoned off by yellow tape, the brightness is a relief in the afternoon heat, the lemonade that he carried in the tumbler was an ideal complement, although after a few seconds the current turned icy,a telltale sign for the upcoming cold season. From one of the sides of the hill you could see Seameet, it was almost night and the streetlights began to paint the city with small yellow dots and there was more activity than usual, a little traffic and above all noise, music, I could almost feel the crowd around me just like in the Laencaster shopping district, the tumult going on and on, footsteps, phone conversations, the scrape of clothing, jostling those who were slower than the rest; my breathing already heavy from the bad memory took my mind to the past, to an extrasensory event:

The year-end winter festival.

The cold, the crowd, and the frantic beating in my chest.

There was only one look that stood out in the background of it all.

Autumn mornings should have been colder but there they were, being hot and with cloudy days without rain, sometimes June slept with the window open letting the air ventilate his room, the light from the nearest lantern gave a slight beam of light to his room, from time to time he felt a little cold when the currents coming from the sea announced low temperatures, but it was only during the early morning. Sometimes he felt that fall was the beginning of summer.

The next few days when Nikki returned with renewed enthusiasm did nothing but encourage June's morning headaches, in addition to the fact that some bad habits such as biting his nails and removing his cuticle until it bled had returned after a successful month of being absent, he would have to resort to his grandfather's old remedy; grind garlic and use it on the tips of her fingers.

The afternoon began with a light rain that evolved into a true monsoon, the thunder, at least the sudden light, made his heart race even though his rictus said otherwise. He went down to the first floor to look for the company of the older man he found in the kitchen finishing dinner, seeing his grandson with a blanket around his body, he smiled slightly with tenderness. June was cold, winter would be a real ordeal for him.

-It's a little early but dinner is almost ready, just wait a couple more minutes, I think there's a program about surfing on TV. The streets will be packed with tourists and locals, it’ll be a good time. Same as every year. Before the frosts, there’s a small local competition that brings people from all over.

- A competition? The water will be ice cold.

Illogical, complete madness. Who in their right mind entered the sea in the winter season? In addition to the fact that he vaguely remembers that the bay was full of jellyfish and sting grays.

-Not counting the poison that abounds...

A comment on the air that did not go unnoticed by his grandfather.

-It is the season but not on the side of Bay, June, at the other end of Seameet, where there is open sea, that is where the waves can be called waves, near the cliff where the breakwater is.

The practice of surfing was barely credible, it was not an area that June had visited, he preferred the silence of the bay, where people avoided approaching it due to the season of dangerous fauna in the icy waters, which although at first glance seemed like a beach where he could swim in a calm surf, almost non-existent, the threat was hidden under the sand.

-We should go, it's your first time spending the festivities at Seameet, you'll like it, it's an impressive show, and don't worry about the temperature of the water, the participants are mostly veterans and wear the right gear to keep their warmthand the coast guard will be present preventing any change in currents. At the slightest sign of weather they will cancel the competition, which has happened a couple times at most..

The need to explain the details to his grandson was precisely to keep his mind occupied with something else, so, at least he had understood that his mind was working. If things had a contingency plan in the face of any possible threat, it was easier for him to agree to attend.

-Sounds safe…Maybe, I guess.

-That's how I like it. Oh, it looks like the stew is ready. You will like it as a family recipe, my great-great-grandfather loved it...

June's mind wandered again after her grandfather's first words, he didn't care about his family issues, nothing to be interested in, if most living relatives had Ray's dark character, he preferred to ignore him; although he thought about it, a great-great-grandfather must have been underground for just over a decade. As soon as Dylan sensed none of June's attention, he changed the speech.

-Don't you want to ask Nikki for her recipe for that sandwich? It seemed like you enjoyed it.

To say that his relationship with his grandfather was better than with his parents or his siblings was to be optimistic, very optimistic. June, from the bottom of his heart, felt a great sadness for it, something similar to his guilt has affected him since he can remember, in the days that Dylan tries to understand his grandson, to get close enough so they can talk. Dylan knows that June is not doing it to be rude on purpose, his grandson is a good boy and in his eyes he can see how much it hurts to speak to him, he understands, as far as he is able, that June enjoys his company and that living with him away from a busy city life is a relief to his heart and mind.

June denies, he doesn't like the idea of inviting Nikki again, but this time he also adds voice to his answer.

-I remember the taste.

He said it out loud.

"That's enough for me to know the ingredients."

He thinks about it and doesn't say it but Dylan reads it in his eyes. June has an enviable palate, recognizes flavors and food preparation processes with a couple of bites, another of the teachings of one of the many governesses of his childhood, eating was a real pleasure as well as being a world of infinite possibilities, unfortunately the love for cooking did not last long and at least his palate remained firm before the lessons and although June tried to ignore the great information that his tongue received in each bite, it was almost impossible, so much so that it became an unconscious habit. Besides, it wasn't that complicated, after all it was just a sandwich.

-If you need something I can go buy it.

June nods slowly, he doesn't want to be too excited and that's more than enough for Dylan. He does not want the progress that his grandson has shown to be in vain. Not after what happened, what June seems to have suppressed from his memory; at least he keeps the good memories, a little skewed but they remain.

-Can I tag along?

Nothing makes Dylan happier than his grandson's initiative to get out a little more and avoid being in a sedentary routine.

-Of course June. We can go in the morning when there are fewer people, it won't be long, I promise, we'll be back before noon, just in time to see the opening of the surf event on TV, the competition will take place the next day next, we can see it from the comfort of home but I assure you that the experience of being in front of the sea is another level.

June was silent, expectant before the old man's emotion, perhaps it was too much just to go shopping and then go to a public event.

"Go"

He blinked in confusion. His subconscious? No, his own background voice didn't sound anything like that.

-Maybe it's too much, forget about surfing, we can play cards or...

-I will go. It sounds exciting.

It was a strong word, "excitement", actually he was more intrigued than interested in the event, his instinct howled to go and discover that it was that curious itch in the back of his head and that vibrant curiosity in his heart, for the first time in years, or months, could say that he had made good progress, not because of his memories, nothing new had come to the light of consciousness, but because of the initiative to join society, to leave behind his routine of parsimony; Despite the fact that the end of the year was approaching, for June it was like a beginning, a starting point alone where he could have faith that it is the ideal, stopping futilely searching through a mist where he did not know if the next step would fall into the void .

-It's good to hear that, however don't forget that we can come back if you don't feel comfortable.

And for the first time in years Dylan saw his grandson smile, faint and barely visible but tangible, enough to reassure him.