Chapter Four

Amelia stood outside her daughter's room. Minutes prior, Sarah had burst through the front door with tears in her eyes and the second her door was shut, Amelia heard her daughter break down.She had listened with her ear to the door and she could hear Sarah's sobs. They broke her heart but there was nothing she could do. When Sarah was this emotional it was clear that she needed her space and that is what Amelia had decided to give her, so with a tear rolling down her cheek she walked away.

~

Sarah felt like dying, granted one would think she was exaggerating but the dagger twisting away at her heart was feeling very real at the moment. He had been her last chance, now she had no choice but to conceed to her grandmother's demands. The woman would probably marry her off to one of her old friends, emphasis on old.

She could feel her heart breaking and she honestly didn't know why. She had never been the emotional type but finding out that her mystery man was Jonah was shocking and even after the shock she felt a sense of betrayal unlike any other. The feeling of betrayal was misplaced because it was clear that Jonah hadn't known who she was too but she was feeling a sort of hurt that she couldn't explain. A deep disappointment, like something had been taken away from her.

The main reason she hadn't stopped crying in the three hours she had locked herself in her room surprisingly wasn't just because she felt robbed of an opportunity it was mainly because despite who he was and what he had done, she was still attracted to him even after finding out his identity. Just as she'd stop crying she'd feel a wave of self loathing wash over her at the thought of her attraction. She resigned herself to giving up her hopes of getting one over her grandmother's head.

Regardless of how much her mother wanted her to marry for love, it was imperative that she produced a legal heir. Sarah knew that her grandmother would marry her off to the highest ranking English Noble man who asked for her hand, if given a chance. There was no need for crying, she knew it and she repeated it over and over again in her head but all in all, Sarah knew that she wasn't going to give up.

She still had a few more days before her grandmother would arrive back in London. Resigning herself to choose a husband from her recently rejected list of suitors. As much as she knew that none of the men on that list would give her the love she dreamed of, she reasoned that she'd settle for a good life for her and her future children even though their father was as dull as mud.

Getting up, she walked to a water bowl to wash her face. When the cool water washed away all the evidence of her tears she rang for her maid and started to get ready for the evenings ball at Montgomery Hall, hosted by the dowager Countess Cornwall.

Countess Cornwall was a crazy and ecclectic woman who most people believed, killed her spendthrift of a husband. Not that Sarah paid any interest to senseless gossip but it was quite the coincidence, her husband dying only mere months of her acquiring an heir. If you also add the fact that Sarah had heard the dowager say, "a few drops of arsenic will do the trick, it most definitely worked for me," at the tea shop...

Then you most definitely have yourself a neatly wrapped murder mystery puzzle. Although, Sarah did not agree with her "how to deal with your troublesome husband" methods, the countess's son had shown interest in her and he was at the top  of her list of gentlemen who didn't want to marry for dowry. So as she prepared to leave she said a small prayer, hoping that he hadn't taken her dismissal to heart. Count Maxwell Cornwall had recently been widowed and from what was going around the ballrooms, the father of two gorgeous little boys wasn't in any rush to remarry but he had shown quite the interest in Sarah.

Sarah didn't mind being a stepmother, not at all... Infact she had met the children quite a few times and she adored their energy and wonderful manners  instantly, their father on the other hand was unfortunately dull as mud. With a sigh she reasoned that if they were to marry, she'd have her hands too full anyway, what with a fully functioning family already in place. Wholesome and intriguing conversation was a small sacrifice that she'd have to make just to avoid her grandmother's efforts at matchmaking. So with her head held high and a heavy heart she walked out of her room with her mind already set on accepting a certain Count's proposal were it to be offered up again.

When she walked into the drawing room, both her parents stood, worry etched in their faces. Sarah knew that they were worried about her and she didn't want to wish them anymore heartache. So she faked a smile, something she had learned to do rather well ever since her brother had passed on.

" Are you alright dear?" Amelia asked, grabbing her daughter's hand.

"I'm fine mama. I just got a bit emotional when I walked by the park and remembered riding my horse with Francis. I'm quite alright now, we should ready to depart for the ball tonight."

Sarah said as she looked at her parents, it was clear that her lie hadn't quite hit home as they stared at her dubiously then at each other. She gave them a reassuring smile that seemed to work as the frowns on their faces seemed to ease up. Her father was still not convinced when he said, "little dove, we don't have to go, if you don't want to. There will be many more balls and banquets to attend, if you require rest we shall stay." With a warm smile she reassured her parents. "That won't be necessary Papa, if I'm to find a husband before grandmother arrives, I really need to start looking now."

Amelia frowned at her daughter "what happened to your mystery suitor?"

Sarah felt her eyes water but she knew that a single tear from her eyes and her parents would start worrying all over again and cancel going out for the evening so she gave a short shrug, dismissing the issue.

"He wasn't who I thought he was. Now, enough about me, you two need to get ready so we're not late. I will wait in the garden while you two get dressed, will Harold be joining us this evening? Should I send for him?"

"I'm afraid the little troublemaker has caught a bug, I gave him some of cooks elixir and let him sleep it off. He won't be joining us tonight." Amelia spoke as she gathered her things.

Sarah let out a small smile because she knew that even though Harold had managed to con his way out of attending the evenings shin dig, he had been forced to drink one of cooks disgusting tonsil curling elixirs.

"I'll be waiting in the garden while you get ready." Sarah spoke already with her back turned even before her parents had stood from their seats.

~

Sarah closed the door behind her  and walked towards the swing in the garden. The weather was not cold but she was grateful that she  had carried her shoal. She sat gently to avoid creases on her dress then looked up in the sky, noting the moon's early rise.

As she let the wind gently push her, she closed her eyes, enjoying the moment of peace and quiet even as she dreaded the evening.

"Sarah."

At the voice she spun around, her moment of peace ruined. Glaring at the intruder she said, "leave me alone Jonah."

Stepping off the swing she was halfway up the stairs when he spoke. " No, for once just listen to me. You owe me that much"

Turning around so fast she felt winded, all the anger she had felt earlier begun rising inside her, like a pot just seconds from boiling over. Walking down the steps she stopped right before him, poking at his chest painfully enough to cause him to wince.

"I owe you nothing Jonah Holland. Nothing at all."

Jonah let out a small smile, "true, you don't owe me anything. I just wanted you to stop walking away."

Narrowing her eyes, she shoved him and started walking away mumbling words along the lines of  "idiotic bastard" and "half witted ingrate"

She was mere steps to the door when she felt his hand grasp her arm, basic instinct told her to shake it off but her body's reaction to his touch threw her off for mere seconds and she found herself softly cursing. Ignoring the shiver that ran through her spine at the feel of his skin on hers.

Telling her self it was a shiver of revulsion she found herself gritting out the words, "let go of me." When he replied no, she turned around, intent on giving him a piece of her mind but she was overwhelmed with a dizzy spell.

Jonah had to wrap his arms around her to steady her from falling.

As she regained her footing and her head cleared, she found herself looking into Jonah's eyes. Warm honey. His eyes were still the same as the day before, beautiful and kind as they looked at her but now she could place the familiarity and it almost drove her mad with how her body reacted to him.

Their lips were close, closer than socially acceptable, if someone would have seen them, she would be ruined and most definitely would lack a husband willing to marry a disgraced debutante but that didn't shake her out of her spell. She was entranced with the man before her, she trailed her eyes over his face, over every crease in his brow and the curve of his lips. A sound from inside the house was what drew them apart. Stepping out of his hold as if his arms were on fire, she wrapped her shoal tighter around herself. She knew that if she didn't talk to him, he would find extremely infuriating ways to get her attention and honestly she knew that her sanity was hanging on by a thread. Sarah wanted to get married not tried for first degree murder. So with as much hesitation as she could muster...

"What do you want?" Sarah asked, ice lacing her voice.

Jonah was taken aback by the time of her voice but he recovered quickly and

cleared his throat before he spoke. "I came to apologise."

After ignoring a sarcastic raised eyebrow, he continued. "I did not intend to lie about my identity, I was just as perplexed as you were. I assure you that if I had known it was you, I would have informed you immediately."

Sarah felt the anger she had accumulate start to seep out, she hesitantly turned to face him. She could now see the resemblance clearly, the boy she knew was slowly coming into focus.

"I had planned to search for you, I was actually on my way to ask a few friends if they knew who you were, turns out all I had to do was look next door." Jonah finished with a nervous laugh.

Sarah looked at him in question, suspicion lacing her words, her stomach already starting to churn,"why were you looking for me?"

Jonah ran a hand through his hair as he gathered his words, "umm, I was going to ask for your hand."

At that Sarah felt her eyebrows reach her hairline, her heart felt like it momentarily stopped working and she had to catch her breath.

"You were going to ask me to marry you? I was just a stranger to you!" Sarah's eyes widened with shock, granted her intentions were on the same wavelength but hearing it coming from someone else's mouth was the eye opening clarity she clearly needed.

"Well yes, it's not that uncommon. After we spoke yesterday, I reasoned that we had plenty in common and both had the pressure to marry so today I intended to ask you then speak to you father. I figured it would be an easy out for both of us." Jonah spoke as he sat on the swing next to him gesturing for her to sit. She hesitated at first but then slowly walked over to sit gingerly on the swing next to him.

When she was seated she calmly asked, "An easy out? What does that mean?"

"It means that I thought we could both gain from a union, I'd gain my inheritance and you would get your title. An easy out."

Sarah shook her head slightly, a smile forming on her face despite her better judgement, "you have been away from London for far too long, you sound like one of those Americans."

"Not long enough if you can still understand me." Jonah replied that a smile of his own.

As they sat together Sarah looked at Jonah and felt her smile widen, it was the first time in both their lives that they had sat together and just talked, without any theatrics and tears.

Letting out a sigh she rolled her eyes before saying "I accept your apology Jonah Holland."

"And I thank you for your acceptance Sarah Sutton." At his words both of them started laughing. At that moment Sarah felt a heavy weight lift off her chest and she could almost sense the atmosphere change from tense to comfortable.

"For once I can actually sit next you and hope I don't get honey in my hair or ants in my coat." Sarah joked, for the first time in her life feeling comfortable in Jonah Holland's presence.

"You were lucky it was only honey, you put an eel in my bed." Jonah exclaimed then laughed. He was glad that the hostility between them had simmered down and for once they could have a civil conversation without one of them erupting in tears.

"I always was the better prankster between us." Sarah said as she waited for his argument.

"No, you only pranked me to get back at me for pranking you. Although your pranks were genius, the way to decide who was the best prankster is to find who gave our mothers more grief." Jonah stated as he adjusted himself on the swing to be able to talk to her while facing her even as they sat side by side.

Now that he was looking at her, he could confirm that his decision was the right one. She was beautiful and Jonah had always known Sarah to be graceful and kind to others so she would make a wonderful wife and mother. Granted she had never been graceful or kind where he was concerned but he could feel her hesitation and resistance ebb away the more they talked, he just hoped that she wouldn't get angry when he proposed to her or worse end up hurting him!

★

Sarah found herself in stitches as she sat and talked with Jonah. In mere minutes he had brought tears to her eyes because of how much she was laughing.

He was genuinely funny and more of a gentleman than she had thought he'd be. He was surprising her with every second he spent with her and mere minutes felt like hours in his presence. He told her stories about his travels and she found herself hanging on to his every word. It also didn't help that he was immensely funny and had a quick witty response for her good natured sarcastic comments. After telling her a story that left her in stitches, she noticed that he was looking at her with a deliberating look on his face. When she asked him about it, she couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth.

"How about we get married" It was more of a suggestion than a proposal. Sarah stopped laughing and looked at Jonah, "I beg your pardon." She could feel her heart rate speed up at the mere thought of what he was suggesting.

Jonah let out a shrug in response and said, "It was what I was coming to ask you. If you'd marry me."

A frown formed on her face and she spoke, "wait, let me try to understand this. You knew who I was yet you still wanted to marry me? Correction. Still want to marry me?"

Jonah nodded in response and sat in silence, looking at her. Sarah closed her eyes and she took a deep breath to calm herself down but it was all in vain because she found herself nearly shouting out the words, "Are you mad?!"

Jonah shrugged once more and she felt her eye twitch, she was going to throttle him. His reaction was grating on her nerves and for a minute she actually thought he was joking but when the look on his face did not waver, she realized that he was indeed serious.

Sarah looked at him as if he'd gone crazy, grasping for straws she found herself saying, "just because I can no longer detest you and can stand you does not mean I want to marry you!"

Jonah chose that moment to meet her eyes, his easy laid back manner gone with the wind now lay a sultry predator and Sarah felt her cheeks warm and her body flush at his sudden change in demeanor.

"Yesterday you revealed to me that you were in search of a husband, one who wouldn't drive you to suicide with his duller than mud demeanor. In order to get your title, inheritance and freedom, you are to be married by the end of the season so I suggest that you accept my proposal." Jonah spoke casually as if the words coming out of his mouth were an ordinary occurrence.

Sarah was still looking at him as if he had grown five heads by the time he was done talking. She stood and started pacing and rambling, " you seriously can't be considering this, you wouldn't just drive me to suicide, you'd drive me to murder. Knowing you as well as I do, the murder would most definitely be yours!"

Jonah just regarded her with his stare. Sarah continued pacing for a few seconds when his words started sinking in. Then she stopped, a smile spreading on her face. "It's genius! You are a genius Holland, an utter complete genius." Sarah exclaimed, laughing slightly as she sat back on her swing, excitement clear on her face.

"Of that I am clearly aware." Jonah stated as matter of factly. It was actually a rather great idea and Sarah felt that could possibly work.

Suddenly it dawned on her, feeling her smile drop from her face, she said, "they would never believe us. Especially my grandmother, she'd reject our Union and marry me off to the oldest of my grandfather's widowed friends."

"We would have to be convincing then. Our Union will be one that catches the eye of the public so we would need to play the part. " Jonah spoke calmly, giving a solution so casually that Sarah had to stop and appreciate his thinking ahead.

Sarah couldn't help but be skeptical at his suggestion and she felt compelled to address the elephant in the backyard. Sarah shifted in her seat to face him, "Jonah do you realize that this Union will have to be permanent?"

Jonah nodded before responding, "I do, Our mothers would be devastated if we were to divorce that's why I would like us to table a discussion about separation. If our marriage were to unfortunately become strained then separation would be the best option for us. I'd make sure you would be taken care of and I wouldn't take another wife."

Sarah had to admit that she was touched by his willing to sacrifice his bachelorhood for a union far from a love much. Even though they had spent years apart, Sarah felt strongly that Jonah was indeed a gentleman and a man of his word. The simple thought that he would make sure she was taken care of even if their marriage wouldn't work made her feel appreciated.

Clearing her throat she said, "well, judging by how many times I've tried to kill you in the past, I would suggest we have a short union." Jonah laughed before responding, "oh how you wound me Sarah Sutton, our Union shall hopefully be a short one. When the time comes, we shall separate amicably and any children born in our marriage shall be yours by law."

At that Sarah stuttered, "ch-chhildren?"

"Yes children, didn't you inform me of the conditions your grandmother imposed on you. You are expected to produce an heir, aren't you?"

Sarah nodded, at a loss of words thankfully Jonah took pity on her and filled in the silence.

"We may discuss the conditions of our Union at a later date but what I may suggest is a quick wedding."

Finally finding her voice she said, "before my grandmother arrives would be nice but sadly we can't have a wedding that soon. I suggest we make our engagement public soon to discourage any investigation into our ruse."

Jonah nodded in agreement before speaking, "we should do it in a public place to avoid our parents from talking us out of it. With the whole ton already knowledgeable about our upcoming nuptials, our parents will try to avoid the scandal of a broken engagement."

Nodding in agreement Sarah added, "I suggest the Mulberry Banquet this Sunday, it comes immediately after the races. Our parents shall be in high spirits then and they probably won't kill us."

Just as Jonah was about to talk, the back door of the Sutton house opened and Amelia walked out. Her face was filled with confusion and for a minute utter outrage at seeing her only daughter unchaperoned with a man in the dark. After the initial shock she adjusted her eyes to the bright moonlight and she saw that it was Jonah. The relief that was on her face was comical, almost drawing laughter from the couple as they watched her walk up to them. Amelia's face was animated  as she drew near.

"Jonah dear, is it really you. My, how you've grown. The last time I saw you, you were shorter than me. Now..." Amelia spoke as she walked over to the duo. As happy as she was to see him, the  protective mother in her was glad that even though Jonah and Sarah had been alone, they were seated a respectable distance away from each other.

Standing up to greet her, Jonah spoke, "it has been long, Lady Amelia. It is nice to see you again. You look as beautiful as ever."

Amelia felt her cheeks warming at the compliment and was grateful that her skin was dark enough to hide her blush.

"I'm surprised to find the two of you in the same place and no one is crying or screaming." She finished with a laugh.

Giving her a charming smile, Jonah spoke, "Not here, I promise you Lady Amelia, I have been the absolute gentleman all evening."

Amelia looked at her daughter who nodded in agreement. Still feeling a little flushed she fanned herself, "it's good to see that both of you have out grown that particular stage of savagery. What we feared more than the two of you killing each other was the two of you joining forces. It would have been horrendous."

All three of them laughed until Sarah added her two cents in, "how did we never think of it?" which further induced more laughter, "well Juliana and I are extremely glad you didn't." Amelia smiled at both of them before addressing Jonah, "Will you be attending this evenings ball your grace?"

Jonah answered, "yes, I will and you should address me by my given name Lady Amelia, you practically raised me."

Amelia laughed, "sometimes I forget that I saw you in leading strings and I just see you as the Duke's son. It's old age I'm afraid."

Stepping down from the swing Sarah walked to her mother's side and with a kiss on her mothers cheek she said, "you are not old mama, just finely aged, like wine. You keep getting better and better."

Amelia let out a laugh and said, "you flatter me so, my dear."

Jonah looked at the two women before him. They were so much alike, they looked like sisters. Amelia looked younger than her years and she was still very beautiful. Sarah was lucky to have inherited her mother's looks, hopefully that meant that her beauty won't fade with age.

"If you'll excuse me ladies, I have already taken up too much of your time, I shall leave you two to attend the ball. I may arrive a little late as I have a spot of business to conduct but hopefully I shall see you there." He started walking away only stopping to say to Sarah, "I hope you'll save me a dance Miss Sutton." 

Sarah gave him a nod and a curtsy before saying, "I will if you arrive early your grace." She then watched as he walked out of sight.

"My what a sight he's become. This seasons Mamas will not know what hit them. Juliana told me that he has still not taken a wife perhaps I will introduce him to Melinda Dawson's daughter. They'd make a lovely couple."

Sarah looked at her mother in question, insulted at her mother's words, "mother, you have an unwed daughter of your own, aren't you supposed to be looking for a suitor for me first."

Amelia laughed before saying, " Oh, I know you'd never marry him. You detest him too much, I would think that you'd poison him before the wedding was over. He requires someone less head strong. Now let's head inside, it's freezing out here and we're going to be late for the ball if we don't get going."  Sarah was about to speak when her mother shushed her and nudged her into the house.

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