Chapter Five

Just like every ball or dance that Sarah had ever attended, the atmosphere still managed to choke her and send a chill down her spine. Not that anyone could blame her, attending those dances had always served to remind Sarah that she was different. Not just because of the color of her skin, although it was a significant part of her being different, her personality and preferences are what made her stick out like a sore thumb.

For Sarah, a good personality and calm demeanor was a crowning jewel in any eligible gentlemen and unlike the other debutantes in her social season, she valued good conversation over a hefty purse and a flimsy title. That is one of the reasons she preferred a long slow waltz to the extremely popular, exhausting jigs she had been forced to learn. Those energy depleting dances always left one sweaty and too tired to have a decent conversation, that is why Sarah had jumped at the chance of waltzing with one of the seasons most eligible bachelors,  Lord Edmund Cramdon, although she later came to regret it.

He was a rather handsome man whose conversation wasn't that badly off, granted it was nothing like talking to Jonah but he did manage to make her laugh once or twice.

One might think that she was being fickle by dancing with other gents while having accepted the proposal from another but minutes after Jonah had left her side, reality had come crashing down and she couldn't help but panic.

Granted that it was an irrational fear stemmed from the copious amount of emotional scaring she went through as a child because of him but she couldn't help herself from hating him even if it was slightly less. Jonah had filled her mind ever since he had left her side and even conversation with prospective suitors seemed to fly over her head that night but she still managed to smile and nod demurely just like she had been taught. The longer she thought about him the more irritated she became and he wasn't even at the ball. Frustration begun to color her features and she'd had enough. After 3 consecutive dances, Sarah was bone tired and after her last dance with Lord Cramdon her toes were begging for relief. Lord Cramdon, bless his heart, was a terrible dancer and her toes could attest to that. After her last dance he had insisted on an encore but she had excused herself claiming she was tired, which was partly true because she was "tired" of getting her feet stomped on.

Sarah walked over to a small bench over looking the dance floor while still being able to provide a modicum of privacy mostly because the bench was tactically placed behind a group of ambitious Mama's and other gossiping women. Sarah sat down and her hands immediately shot to her feet where she gently rubbed her feet discreetly to avoid scrutinizing looks from the judgmental women seated in front of her.

Looking around the ballroom once more, Sarah felt disappointment wash over her. He had not yet arrived. For the past two hours it had been the same, she would look around the room for a glimpse of him but he hadn't arrived. A dark thought crept into her mind and she couldn't help but think, what if it was all a practical joke, the apology, the proposal, all of it designed to make her look like a naive and desperate debutante. A chill crawled up her spine at the thought and she begun to feel self conscious and insecure. Letting out a string of softly uttered profanities, she cussed at Jonah who somehow always managed to keep her teetering on the edge of insanity. Letting out a sigh she came up with a conclusion, this plan was never going to work. Looking at the clock she saw that it was half to midnight. Only an hour or so till the end of the ball and he was still not in attendance. Even though Sarah had come to the conclusion that she wasn't going to accept his proposal, she was still hopeful for his arrival.

Sarah told herself that the only reason she was waiting with baited breath was because she wanted to inform him of her decision but deep down she couldn't deny that she wanted to see him simply because she wanted to see him. Letting out a sigh she stood, as usual, Jonah had been able to make a fool of her and be irresponsible and inconsiderate at the same time. As much as she knew that she needed a suitor, she felt too tired to even fake being interested in anything the gents wanted to talk about. She was wrung out both physically and emotionally, having Jonah let her down was a blow to her ego that she needed to recuperate from, so she decided to go home. Walking towards her mother to bid her leave, she knew her mother would understand her desire to depart, even if she'd veil the truth. As Sarah waited for her mother to finish talking to her friend, she made the decision to pay Jonah a visit the following morning because if he wasn't going to come to her then she would look for him. Just as her mother directed her attention to Sarah, she noticed a commotion drawing everyone's attention at the entrance of the ballroom. The previously empty doorway was now filled with a flock of mamas and their debutante daughters and they were purposely surrounding some poor gent. Sarah gave a furtive glance to the group before her attention was grabbed by the man in the middle. It was Jonah, he had kept his promise, it made her discomfort ease but the attention he was getting was starting to irritate her. She tried to chase the feeling away but gave up because ever since Jonah had come back in her life, she was experiencing feelings she had never felt before and she knew that some battles weren't worth fighting.

It did make sense though, with his recent arrival in London ,he would most definitely be the seasons most eligible bachelor and that was why a large number of mothers were already drawing out their checkbooks, ready to pay the dowry, just in case he got smitten by one of their daughters. Sarah let her eyes stray from him to his companion. On his arm was his mother, the beautiful and graceful duchess, all smiles as she shone with pride. Sarah had always been jealous of that look. She'd always hoped that one day she would get the chance to look at her own children the same way. It was a beautiful moment in motherhood that Sarah wanted to have in her life. She let her eyes stray from the proud and beaming Mama, to the man of the hour. She found his eyes already trained on her and her eyes were soon captured in a gaze that could only be called primal, possessive. Even though the rest of his features were schooled, his eyes were telling a whole different story...

Jonah held her gaze as he detached himself from his Mother's side and waded through the multitude of women around him. With each step Sarah felt like fleeing. His gaze was too addictive, too possessive, too potent and honestly it was making her reconsider her decision. Sooner rather than later Jonah was standing in front of her and her mother, his eyes still locked with hers.

"Miss Sutton."

"My Lord " Sarah replied, disappointed with how breathless she sounded.

Jonah held her gaze for an extra moment then dropped it to greet her mother. "Lady Sutton, you look lovely tonight."

"Why thank you my Lord." Amelia responded with a somewhat shy smile.

Sarah felt a frown mar her brow when her mother blushed. Though her skin was too dark to tell, Amelia was flustered and Sarah could tell.

A hand on Sarah's shoulder tore her from her musings, she looked up to see her father who was now looking at Jonah, a smile on his face.

"Jonah Holland, good God man, look at how much you've grown. It seems like yesterday you were using a stool to dangle a bee hive over Sarah's head now you're almost as tall as me." George shook hands with Jonah.

"Lord Sutton, it's good to see you as well." Sarah watched as he charmed her parents then regarded her with a smile that honestly made her heart beat just a little bit faster. Sarah was too busy trying to chase away the butterflies in her stomach to realize that the conversation between Jonah and her parents had trailed off and he was now addressing her.

"If I may be so bold as to ask for a stroll around the ballroom my fair lady."

Sarah looked at her father who's attention was now occupied with a friend of his, same thing as her mother who was now conversing with Jonah's mother.

"Looking for an escape route little dove."

She watched as he smirked. She felt flustered at his use of the pet name her father had always used. Narrowing her eyes at him she placed her hand in his outstretched palm bitting her tongue to stop a few choice words from spilling out, knowing that her mother would not be the happiest person in the room.

"You're rather self assured my Lord," Sarah spoke as she fell into step with Jonah.

"Well I am the seasons prized catch, I believe that I am supposed to be self assured. It's a requirement."

Sarah couldn't help but smile at his words. Jonah was as humorous as he was handsome and the man truly was handsome

Drawing herself from those thoughts she spoke. "I wanted to talk to you about what we discussed earlier on."

Jonah nodded before adding, "I was going to call on you tomorrow so we could discuss the details."

Sarah shook her head, " My mother would chaperone and we wouldn't be able to talk freely. I was thinking about a meeting in the garden. Mary, my maid would act as my chaperone and she wouldn't listen in." Sarah turned stopped walking and faced him but something caught her attention and she spotted Lord Cramdon heading her way. He was most likely coming to ask her for a second dance and heaven knows that she didn't want the surgeon taking off her toes, she turned her panicked eyes to Jonah who was wearing a similar expression. His panicked expression was most likely because of the gaggle of Mamas headed his way, eager to introduce him to their gifted and marriage ready daughters. "Shall we dance?" Sarah found herself asking.

Jonah let out a sigh of relief at the question, "I thought you'd never ask."

~

Sarah walked out of the ballroom immediately after the dance ended and headed out to get some fresh air. Having  Jonah close to her was messing with her head and her body. The second he had placed his hands on her, she'd felt her body heat up and air leave her body. Taking in lungfulls of air was not helping erase his scent from her mind. She grabbed on to one of the gates which led to the garden and found herself walking towards a fountain, the darkness made her stumble slightly but the full moon gave her enough light to manouver in the dark garden. The rushing sound of the water helped to ease her anxiety and she sat next to the fountain as she steadied her breath. Sarah felt her body relax and she was about to go back to the ballroom when she heard footsteps coming towards her. She reasoned that it was probably one of the footmen or servants sent to search for her she spoke up, "I'll be right there in a minute, I just needed a smidge of fresh air."

With the message delivered she expected the intruder to leave, what she didn't expect was Jonah's voice to filter into her ears, "glad to hear that's the reason you ran away from me, I was beginning to feel rather insulted."

Sarah felt her body freeze and all the air she had managed to take in flooded out of her body the second she looked at him.

"You're having second thoughts aren't you?" Jonah asked gently. He was met by silence and after what seemed like hours but was only minutes he walked up to her.

Even in the dim lighting, she could tell by his body language that he was  determined to get an answer. She expected him to be angry or disappointed at her indecision, what she didn't expect was his outstretched hand offered to her.

Taking it, she stood and before she could ask him what he was doing he had pulled her into his arms and nuzzled her neck. "Dance with me Sarah, please." Those words were whispered softly in her ear and she couldn't say no.

Taking a step back she looked into his eyes and held his gaze as she placed her hand on his shoulder. They fell into step with each as they danced to music that only they could hear.

Dancing with Jonah in the garden felt very different from dancing with him in the ballroom. Sarah reasoned that it was probably because of the attention from onlookers or maybe it was because it had been their first dance. Sarah didn't know why their first dance had affected her so much but now as they swayed to the wind, she felt like she never wanted to let him go. For the moments that followed after that first step, Sarah felt her body relax and her mind ease, at that moment it was just her and Jonah and she never wanted to let him go but like all good things, the moment had to end and she found herself staring into his eyes. A rustling in the hedges made her drop his gaze and walk out of his arms. It was all too overwhelming and as much as the breeze was cooling her overheated skin, she still felt flustered. With her back to him she rubbed her arms to get rid of the residual goosebumps littered on her skin as she steadied her breathing. Soft fabric was placed on her shoulders and his scent engulfed her senses as he placed his coat jacket over her shoulders and she found herself turning around. Not expecting him to be standing right behind her, Sarah felt her breath catch the minute her eyes met his once more, it felt surreal.

She felt his hand lift before he touched her cheek, the slight roughness of his palm and the warmth of his body so close to her was a constant reminder of his presence.

~

Jonah couldn't help but run a finger over her bottom lip. Sarah had the most beautiful lips he'd ever seen and Jonah knew because he'd kissed his fair share. Even when the idea to ask her to marry him had come up in his brain, it had all been to help them out of their situations, he hadn't really expected their attraction to be so exhilarating. Touching her was like coming home.

The minute he had met her gaze when he entered the ballroom, he'd known. She had changed her mind and he desperately wanted to convince her to say yes but the minute he'd touched her, all the words in his brain had mysteriously disappeared and deep arousal took hold of him. He wanted her and he could tell that she also wanted him, she just wasn't ready to admit it and accept the inevitable but what she had clearly forgotten about him was how stubborn he was. Sarah had always used logic in every aspect of her life and Jonah could tell that it had been a great contribution to the woman she had become but as he had done in the past, Jonah felt the unexplainable urge to remind her of how much enjoyable life could be without being so logic oriented. Earlier on as he had presented her the idea of marriage, he had used a logical approach to his proposal and she had seen his point of view only for a while. At the moment he desperately wanted her to say she'll accept their union, not only to solve both their problems but also to explore the connection between them. Jonah knew that he was one bad decision from loosing her but he was determined to give it one more try. At the moment Jonah was out of ideas and he knew that his arsenal was almost empty because she probably remembered each and every trick in his book of trickery. There was almost no possible way of tricking Sarah Sutton into marrying him, his last hope was using the only trick he'd never thought of using on her. If he wasn't going to convince her to see his point of view then she left him with no choice but to seduce her. Drawing closer to her he touched her waist, drawing closer to her. He leaned into her and kissed her gently on the cheek, lingering with his lips touching her skin,

"I want to kiss you Sarah, I've wanted to do it ever since I saw you on that balcony." Jonah spoke against her skin as his hands wrapped around her waist.

Sarah shivered, goosebumps erupting all-over her skin. To Sarah this was the one man on Earth that she had vowed to hate eternally yet he was the only one who could set her body on fire. "I can't..." Sarah hated how breathy her voice sounded.

"You want me to kiss you, you can lie from your lips but your body tells me something different." Jonah spoke against the column of her neck placing a kiss on her pulse point. A smile spread on his face when she let out a moan. She wanted him and that's exactly where he wanted her. As much as he wanted to see her panting underneath him with her beautiful hair strewn all over his pillow, he knew that if he took it too far she'd end up resenting him in the morning. So with the patience of a priest, he gave her a small kiss at the edge of her lips, he was delighted to see Sarah respond to his kiss by cupping his cheek.

The small but potent touch of his lips seemed to be doing the trick and as he searched her eyes he could see that the regular turning of the wheels in her brain was replaced by a look of desire. Jonah was seconds away from saying to hell with it and kissing her senseless when a shrill voice cut through the darkness of the empty garden.

"Lord Holland,Miss Sutton what in the bloody hell are you doing!"

★