Just miku and me

*The girls pov*

I was always alone. No one cared to understand my differences. They just pushed me aside and called me when they needed me. For a while I thought 'as long as I'm useful I won't be abandoned. So I have to please them. Otherwise I'll be alone.' In the end though I was just a little girl seeking for attention. I would have tantrums just so they could look at me. Just so they could no longer ignore me. I was a little girl after all. I needed affection, something I never got. My mom did love me but she was always so busy. She didn't have time for me.

Then I got closer to my sister and for a while I thought of her as my escape. As long as I had her I could bear everything, because she cares about me. Then that's when my brother started abusing me even more. I looked at my sister for help, but in the end it seemed like she loved my brother more then me. She just said "I don't have time for your nonsense" or "can you just be quiet?" I didn't care at the time because I thought, 'she's just having a stressful day.' It didn't cross my mind that she just loved him more than me.

Then she left. It felt like the ultimate betrayal. At first I was sad then I was angry, and finally I was resentful. How could she? She had been planing to leave for a while, my grandma told me. It hurts when you are abandoned. A year and passed and no letter from my sister. She didn't care how I was doing. She didn't care where I was, what I was doing. She didn't care.

A few years later I got a cat. She was so lovely and adorable, but then she got sick. I cried. I was honestly scared; scared that I would lose her.I had been with her for only a few days but I grew so attached to her. She recovered and she was fine. I loved her and I knew she loved me. At first I was weary that something was going to happen where she was going to leave. That never happened though.

I was so happy that I finally had someone, someone to lean on, but in my life when something goes right something always had to go wrong. My mom stared to get more stressed about my situation, having more body aches. I was worried but nothing had happened so far so that gave me a little relief.

When I was with my cat I knew nothing would go wrong, because we loved each other a lot. She wouldn't leave me and I wouldn't leave her. Yes that's right as long as I have her, this time it's not fake. It's not fake like those so called friends I have. Where they hurt you but then act like the victims.

I'm just tired of life. Tired of being scolded by my mom when I did nothing wrong. Tired of being called chubby when I'm not. I'm tired of it all. My mom not too long ago said that I have to do exercise because I'm chubby. She said that I'm just sitting around and not being productive. Well I'm sorry, that what depression does to you!

I'm tired and want to go home. Home with god.

*end of girls pov*