Chapter 63 Dying Beside The Bonfire

When Hajime opened his eyes, he was sitting at an arm's length away, staring at the bonfire. The atmosphere seems to be in the wilderness, but the sound of nature cannot be heard. Although he opened his eyes, he could see nothing but darkness and the faint light of the bonfire.

Sitting alone in the dark, with only the faint light of the bonfire, Hajime felt helpless and hopeless. He hated the dark, he hated the quiet, and most of all, he hated being alone.

Just when Hajime was most afraid, Kenji's voice came from a distance. Kenji seemed to be talking to Hajime, Hajime quickly turned left and right to look for Kenji, but he could only hear Kenji's voice. He focused on Kenji's voice, hoping that if he paid attention to Kenji's voice, he might see Kenji, however, there was nothing but darkness.

"Hajime, did you like the book I read to you last night?" Hajime felt that Kenji started to dress Hajime. "The nurse said I have to read to you more often so when you finally wake up you don't lose any vocabulary, but your neurologist says otherwise." Hajime heard Kenji laugh. "He said the severity of your injury, because you had a stroke and several epileptic seizures; you can't fully recover. He said that when you wake up, he predicts that you would have the learning ability of a three-year-old child." Hajime felt Kenji kiss him on the forehead, and Kenji's voice was almost a whisper. "I don't believe it. I believe that when you wake up, you won't change one bit."

"I don't know if I want to wake up. I don't understand how this is happening to me. Honestly, I want to go back to Saja's house," Hajime said. "But I don't know how. I don't see a way to go back to the other universe and save my friends."

"Your mother won the lawsuit against those students who hurt you," Hajime heard. "Your mother agreed to settle out of court, and the students are not facing criminal charges or jail time." Hajime felt Kenji's hand take his. "Life isn't fair, isn't it?" Hajime felt his right hand being held, and he realized that Kenji was trimming his nails. "To me, your life is precious, and your smile is priceless, but to your mother, your life is only worth two million seven hundred twenty-one thousand three hundred ninety yen."

"Life is indeed unfair," Hajime said. "At least, she got something out of it."

"That's what you always say, life isn't fair, but you always have the strength to push yourself up and keep going. It's no different this time, is it? You must open your eyes and wake up. I believe you can do it. I promise, as long as you open your eyes, I will never let you go again."

"How can people be so weird? When one person does everything, trying their best to stop the relationship from deteriorating, the other person doesn't put in the effort, but when they realize they're going to lose that person, they will do everything they can to keep the body around."

"Your hair has grown longer too," Hajime heard. "I think next time I come to see you; I will trim it for you." Hajime felt his left hand being held, and the nails were also being trimmed. "When you wake up, let's start again, okay?"

"Don't you think it's a bit late? If you could answer one call out of the thousands of calls, I've called you, I wouldn't hesitate to get back with you," Hajime said. "I don't seem to remember your face anymore, why do you want to reconcile?"

The next sound Hajime heard was that of a woman entering the room. Hajime thought it must be the nurse's voice because he heard it many times throughout the day.

"Have you left yet?" Hajime heard a woman's voice say.

"Not yet," Hajime heard Kenji reply.

"Are you coming tomorrow?" the woman asked.

"No," Kenji said. "I'm out of town for a meeting, so I won't be looking after him for the next four days."

"Don't worry about him. I'll take good care of him," the woman said.

Although Kenji and the nurse only had a few brief conversations, the conversation was very pleasant. Hajime didn't know how good-looking the nurse was, but from the soft voice, she should be a very beautiful woman.

After closing the door, Hajime could no longer hear the sound, only the sound from the machine. He took a few deep breaths, using all his strength to at least open his eyes. He began to open his eyes because he wanted to see the room.

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" He heard the voice of Avalokitesvara coming from his right ear.

Hajime knew that with Avalokitasvara present, he would have the opportunity to return to Saja's house. "I need help," he pleaded. "I'm trapped here."

Avalokitesvara said, "Since you are not really trapped anywhere at all, why do you think you are trapped here? It is you who wants to stay here."

Hajime said frantically, "I don't even know how I got back here in the first place. I hate this place, I want to leave this place, but I don't know how to get back to the other me."

Avalokitasvara said, "Hajime, everything that happens happens because your heart wants it to happen. The only person who can help you get back to the other you is yourself."

Hajime cried, "But I don't know how. Please show me."

Hajime's most annoying silence came back to his mind, and now he could only hear the beeping of the machines around him. He tried to move his eyes and lips but couldn't make a sound. He didn't know how long he was going to stay in this place he hated the most.

Hajime was still thinking about how to get out of the realm, when familiar footsteps approached him.

"When you ran away from me, I thought you'd be with that bastard father of yours," Aimi said. Hajime began to feel a strong sense of Aimi's presence beside him. "At least the seventeen years I raised you were not wasted."

"Hinode Kun, it's time for your afternoon story, oh... I'm sorry." A woman's voice said. "I thought Hinode-kun didn't have any guests these next few days."

"Nurse," Aimi said. "Based on your many years of experience, what is the probability that those who are at the same stage as my son can escape the life support machine?"

"I don't know. It depends on the individual situation. Some patients wake up from a coma after many years," the nurse said. "But...but... If you want to know more, consult his neurologist. The neurologist can give you a better answer to your question."

After a while, Hajime heard the footsteps of a person walking away. He thought it was Aimi who walked away, but then he felt soft and warm breathing from his left ear.

"You know, you're worth more to me being dead than alive," Aimi whispered. "Why don't you quickly die, so both you and I will be free of each other."

Hajime always knew he was a mistake of his parents. When he was still living with Aimi, she reminded him every day how much she wished that Hajime was never born. Aimi had told him that if Hajime hadn't been born, her life would be better, and maybe Aimi was right, and if he hadn't been born to be Aimi's son, their life would have been better for both of them.

"I believe you never really set him free," Hajime heard Kenji say, entering the room. "You hate him so much, why are you still here?"

"He is my son," Aimi said. "I can come and go as I please. What about you, huh? I know you're only here because you couldn't bear to dump him. If one of us is at fault, that person is you, if you didn't dump him, he wouldn't run away from me, and be like this."

"Get out," Kenji said frantically. "If you're here to insult him, get lost!"

Hajime covered his ears with his hands. "Stop arguing," Hajime said, he began sobbing. "Stop... I don't want to hear it."

"Hajime..." Hajime felt Kenji holding his hand. "You can hear us, right?" Kenji wiped away Hajime's tears. "You can hear us, right?" Kenji reached for the nurse call light. "The patient in room 208 can hear us, please send a doctor."

Hajime, who was still sitting alone in the darkness by the bonfire, hugged his knees and buried his face in them. "I don't want to hear it," he sobbed. "I don't want to wake up."

Hajime heard so many people talking at the same time. Everyone's voice was so close to him that he could reach out and touch their voices. He covered his ears with his hands again, trying not to think about those voices. He turned his mind away from the yelling between Kenji and Aimi.

"Happy thoughts...happy thoughts...happy thoughts," Hajime said, continuing to sob. "Happy Thoughts..."

"Hajime..." Hajime heard a deep voice calling his name. The sound seemed far away. He opened his eyes, searching the darkness for the deep muffled voice calling to him.

"Hajime..." the voice sounded again.

"Yul...," Hajime's lips trembled when he spoke. He continued to sob. "Yul...I don't know how to get back to you."