Chapter51

#Chapter51

The bathtub felt weird to lie in without water; I was curled up small, thumb in my mouth and eyes sore from the number of tears that I had cried.

My body physically hurt. Breathing hurt. Moving hurt. Even lying still, I felt like I was sinking. I was falling into a pit of despair. It felt like drowning but without the water.

I was cold. I was... I wasn't even sure what I was feeling.

I knew how pathetic I looked; my reflection had been a pitiful sight. My eyes had seemed to eclipse my face, so wide, red-rimmed and flooded with tears, and my flesh had been stained red from the cold that had attacked my bare flesh on the way home.

I was still wearing the stupid pull-up. Without Joel, I felt ridiculous and like a freak wearing it, more so when Nicky had noticed after she had squished me into a bone-crushing hug. She hadn't said anything.