Chapter3

#Chapter3

I’m Not A Beggar

/"Hanna/" I spoke up as I softened my usually quite sassy tone. The nurse wasn't talking to me, even though she used to.

/"Hanna, I want Mr. Waffel back.. I want him as my supervisor again./" Hanna refused to answer me or to make eye contact with me. I was annoyed, and I wanted to get what I asked for. I’m not going to have another session with that bastard. Since he was here, nobody talks to me, and Mr. Waffel doesn't come anymore... all the people I was able to deceive, now left me with that cocky asshole.

/"Have a nice meal./" I didn't get anything else from her... how dare she ignoring all my questions?

/"I don't bite, honey... don't run./" I made a confident smile, but she wouldn't look back at me. She reminded me of my mum, and my stomach got sprained from the anger and disgust, so I just looked away. I needed pain, right now... I wanted to cut myself, but I was chained, and I had nothing to cause me pain around me. I closed my eyes, trying to defeat the calling of my addiction... there is only one way to make feelings disappear, and to clear your head...Pain.

/"Good morning/" I heard the deep voice, as I opened my eyes just enough to see that handsome bastard, in a black suit.

/"Fuck you./" I answered with a bittersweet smile.

/"Yeah, I know you want to, but the sessions not about that yet./" - he answered with an amused smirk, as he sat down in front of me. I rolled my eyes... /"yet/"? Really? Ch...

/"No one is talking to me... why?/" I asked directly, and harshly. I didn't act playfully anymore as I did before... he was my enemy, and if I could, I would have murdered him right here... he just pisses me off!

/"I asked them not to. I got a free hand in your case. That kind of freehand, that if I would walk up there, and rape you, they still wouldn't say a word./" I raised my eyebrows... have they gone mad? This man is sick as fuck, why did they give him all the rights above me?

/"Like I care... if you really can't help your desires, go on and rape me, at least you will be able to concentrate more afterward./" - I smiled fearlessly into his mysterious dark, but in color ~ grey ~ eyes. He smiled at me, calmly, like he would want to show, that I’m not really effecting him with my words.

/"You seem upset. What happened?/" he asked, studying me with his eyes. It made me feel naked, even though I wasn't shy.

/"I woke up in a cell, with chained arms, legs, and a collar./" I retorted with a sarcastic smile.

/"You usually hide your feelings with aggression, but this time I found you having a hard time dealing with it. What did upset you?/" he always knew when I lied, so I either answer him or just say nothing.

/"The nurse ignored me./" I mumble. He didn't smile, he seemed to be curious for me to continue, but I wasn't going to.

/"The doctors should have as well, as I told them to./" he wasn't confused, but he wanted me to say something, I wouldn't let him know otherwise. Of course, the doc's did as well, but Hanna was female, and she looked so alike my mom sometimes. I couldn't care less, that those boring fucks didn't talk to me.

/"Hanna is sweet. I like sweet people...they are delusional, naive, and useless, but it's fun to play with 'em./" I didn't know, why did I agree to play along for the session, but I didn't have anything else to calm me. He smiled, but I didn't get what was behind it.

/"Did she remind you of someone? Someone sweet?/" I looked away, showing him that I'm not even aiming to answer him. He suddenly pulled out a cigarette of his pocket and lighted it. The smoke and the nicotine did hit my lungs like a truck, which made me really want to smoke as well.

He stood up, and took a few steps towards me, as he blew the smoke into my face, he reached down, like he would want to push the end of his cigarette onto my skin. I froze and had the shiver, quite noticeably.

/"I bet, that sweet person, wasn't your dad./" he laughed calmly.

/"None of your fuckin' business, old man./" I answered as my eyes got filled with anger. He could have been around his twenties, or more likely around 25-26, but I just felt the need to hurt him somehow.

/"I have to admit, I really want to give in for that provocation of yours... but I'm not really sure you could handle the pain you would get from me./" he looked down into my eyes like he would really not find me tough enough.

/"I doubt that you are supposed to cause me pain./" to be honest, I wanted him to do something... I would've killed for a tiny bit of a releasing cut.

/"They hired me to make you stop being so harmful and dangerous to yourself... I can do it on many ways, such as giving you to pain, that you give yourself usually./" he cowers down in front of me, and I can’t get away since I'm chained to the wall.

/"Too bad, I'm not that girl from Fifty Shades of Grey... I don't enjoy when someone decides how, and how much are they gonna hurt me./" I smiled, with pure anger and disgust. I was clearly disgusted from weak people, and that was the image I had of those girls who call their partners /"master/", and other shits. I didn't have a master, and if I'll ever have one, he wouldn't be this dick.

/"Since you're chained, you have not much to do about it... but we both know, that your body is begging for it... how long have you been here already...untouched? - he leans closer to me, as much that as he speaks his lips are pressed to my ear... his deep voice, and smart words, are hypnotic, just as he would be some kind of demon, that wants you to betray everything you believe in.

/"I'm not a beggar type./" as I answer, I notice that my voice got weak and somehow higher than it was before... I hate this clear sign of nerve, and that my body is so tense at the moment.

/"Wanna try me, Nana?/" I feel his smirk, but it was somehow a warning tone in his voice. I laughed a little, showing him how much I'm not scared.

/"You will regret trying to show your dominance... I may like to cut, but I'm not a little girl, who wants to call you 'daddy'./" I stick out my tongue which makes him stand up and grab my hair. He turns me around, fixing the chains, that I would be hanged in front of the wall. He slightly pushes my face onto the cold, white, tiled wall, which hurts a little.

/"Let's play a game then... grown-up girl./" I hear his calm, but cynical voice. /"I'm going to show you a little of the feelings, you have never really felt before... It will hurt much, you can scream, of course, I ordered everyone out of this part of the building.../" he continues, but I just answer with a nerveless smile.

/"Fuck you, and your stupid game... sick bastard./" how come that my doctor is daring to do something like that, and nobody stops him? I hear that he get his belt off... I know this sound, but I have never been hit like this ever... I only caused myself pain, and never did let others do that.

/"You can beg me, to stop, that may help./" that was the last thing he said, and I opened my mouth to say something rude, but suddenly I felt a burning line on my bare back. I had a short top on but chained up like this it hardly covered any of my back. I bit my lips, to catch the painful moan I was about to let out. I couldn't catch my breath before he comes down on my lower back again.

/"You won't get away with that.../" I hissed, but then he did it again, and I couldn't help but let out a little groan. He chuckled.

/"The more you bite your tongue, the more I will enjoy when you break out into screams./" what's wrong with that guy? Is he really a doctor? Who did let him even come close to me? The huge, burning scars on my back, give me some kind of numbness, that I was craving for every time when I would cut myself. The next few claws, left me panting and groaning, but my voice was not even closely as painful as it should have been.

/"Stop it you sick fuck.../" I hissed between two hits, but in reply, I just got a much harder attack onto my skin. It wasn't bleeding, I believed so, but it felt like. I wasn't sure if I could take another round of hits, so I opened my mouth again... I wasn't willing to give up, but if all he needs, is that I ask it nicer, I will do it.

/"Please... I can't take anymore.../" he chuckled like I would have been joking.

/"Are you sure you can't? It's not even bleeding yet, darling./" his tone was joyful, but firm, and dominant, as he leaned down to my ear again.

/"I can't... I really can't./" my voice softened and got weaker, but I was doing it on purpose. He smirked, as his lips touched my ear again... he has a nice smell...

/"Now that's something pleasing to hear... I can't wait to know how far I'll have to go, for you to actually mean this./" as his voice got lower with every word I felt my body tremble under his. His presence felt overwhelming, and not in a sexual way... Rather just... I felt intimidated. I was scared what he might do, how far would he be willing to go. I knew my life and my safety was in the hand of a mentally unstable psychopath, and that made me feel so small at that moment.

/"Please stop./" I repeated, my voice wasn't more than a slight whisper, but he was so close, I hoped he would hear it. Hope he would be satisfied with it, and leave me alone.

/"Alright then, darling./"