The five day of 2023

Today was a shit show.

This morning texting you meant jeopardising the safety of my phone. I felt so angry and unsettled. So easily triggered that when I saw your stupid meme all I felt was this bitter rage.

I told you I didn't want to.

That why I didn't.

That's why I don't.

Why is that so hard to understand?

You always come along when I'm weak. When I can't reject you. This is the result of that.

Your silence now feels so petty.

Deserved. But so petty.

I hate you.

But I've never hated and loved at the same time?

Love is weird.

I'm too old to be feeling this erratic.

People say women are emotional beings. I realised my monthlies are responsible, because the moment I've stopped having the weepies or whatever it can be called- I regret this completely.

I won't get rid of you.

I promised.

But my god does being female suck.