Chapter 20

The last two weeks of the semester went by, and thankfully no one had asked Professor Edison why suddenly one of his sharpest students just stopped showing up. Travis asked her in Walcott's class why she'd stopped coming, and she told him she dropped the class for financial reasons.

It tore at both of them because inevitably they saw each other in the English building every day. Victoria walked with her head down, and Beau refused to make eye contact with her. It killed him to see her and know every night she was going to some disgusting venue to sully her reputation. When the semester ended, Victoria met with her guidance counselor to schedule her next semester's classes.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Montoya," Mrs. Patel spoke. Victoria always felt at ease in Mrs. Patel's office. She had the voice of a fairy godmother, and she knew she could trust her to steer her into the right direction. She was one of the few parental figures she felt she had, even if she only saw her once every 6 months.

"Good afternoon Ms. Patel."

"I'm sad to see this will be our last meeting, but I'm happy to see you'll be graduating this spring."

"I am as well."

"Let's get started," Mrs. Patel pulled up Victoria's student file. "Final grades come in, in two weeks, but I can't imagine you failed any of your classes so at this point, you are only 12 credits shy of graduation. You got all of your basics out of the way therefore you get to choose 4 classes of your own. Professor Walcott has another class next semester you may be interested in, Modernist literature. It's Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11am."

"Yes, that sounds fantastic."

"And Professor Edison is teaching Contemporary literature, which is also Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday at 2pm. It would fit well with your schedule."

"No!" she immediately replied, startling Mrs. Patel.

"No?"

"I mean, yes it would but, I just, I would like some variety in my schedule, professor wise."

"Oh I see."

Victoria knew this made no sense. She couldn't tell her the truth, however, so anything was acceptable.

Victoria left the campus and breathed a sigh of relief. She'd not have to come back to the UBC until the spring semester, which was four weeks away. She couldn't take another minute of running into Beauua, and feeling the revolting pain of knowing she could look but not touch. She was still in love with him, and hoped that deep down he was still in love with her. She got her final grade from him, and saw it was an A, just as he had promised. She thanked him for not getting revenge by sabotaging her grades as punishment for lying to him.

With the holidays around the corner, Victoria knew she'd be making lots of money to help her put away a savings decent enough to make her graduation present come true: quitting. She'd made a goal to pay off her college debt, her town home, and have a cushion so that she could find a decent job without taking the first thing available to her. It never phased her in the slightest to be alone during the holiday season. Holidays were met for people with families. She'd never known was it was like to share that moment with someone else, so she quickly eradicated their meaning from her life much like anyone else would for a religious holiday of a different faith.

#

Beau spent his holiday's with his family, making the short trek to Abbotsford. While he was happy to see his family, he hated how miserable he looked. He couldn't hide the pain of his failed relationship to save his life. He only told his parents and siblings that he'd been dumped, but by a nameless woman he'd met at an art gallery. When he returned home after Christmas celebrations, he made it a point to drive past Victoria's home. Her car wasn't there. He wondered where she was. Did she drive to Edmonton and make amends with her family? He made the 8 kilometre drive to Sapphire Reserve and couldn't believe his eyes when he saw her car in the parking lot. He shook his head in disgust and headed back home. 'You disgust me.'

When New Years Eve rolled around, he once again checked to see where she was. Once again, he found her car at the club. Didn't she have any morals? He couldn't wrap his head around how her family handled the idea of her leaving to do such a job on a day reserved for the camaraderie of loved ones and friends.

Beau decided to speak with her again. He simply had to ask her why she'd be so crude as to put her naked body out there on such an occasion.

He pulled up behind her car at the club and nervously began walking inside. He wondered if he'd be recognized for being kicked out and not allowed in. Beau came inside and saw the place was in full swing, the lights low enough that his face wouldn't be recognized. He took a seat at the bar, where he saw Roman, the woman he'd been served by last time, making cocktails.

"Hey, you look familiar," she smiled at him. She decided not to bring up what had happened last time.

"Hi," Beau smiled. "Jack and coke, please."

"So, does she know you're here," she asked Beau when she set his drink down before him. There was no one else at the bar, and Beau took a look around to see her on the stage in the corner of his eye.

"No. She doesn't."

"I know it's none of my business, but that girl loves you, and I mean, she really loves you."

"Yeah? Can't say I believe you, I mean, she's still here."

"She has her reasons to work here, I promise you. She's not just working here to get her skank on."

Beau chuckled slightly, enjoying her conversation. "I'm not sure I'm aware of her reasons."

"Oh, she never told you?"

"Told me what?"

"I..uh..it's best you here it from her."

Beau wasn't sure if they were even talking about the same woman at this point. What else was Victoria hiding from him? He swung his bar stool around when she walked off and began staring at his queen. She sported red lacy underwear and nothing else. He got up and took a seat closer to the stage, but in a far corner where he wouldn't be directly noticeable.

Victoria didn't notice him for two more songs. When she did, he could see how uneasy she looked over this discovery. She continued her dancing but he could see in her eyes the need to flee. She never had to see him again if she didn't want to, sans the awkward moments that she might run into him at her final spring semester. Why on Earth was he here?

Beau felt it was time to break the ice himself. He held up a $20 in between two fingers and waved at her. She stomached all the courage she could to step off the stage and start walking toward him. It was too much, trying to walk sultry when all she felt was fear. Beau eyed her body in pure lust, also nervous to make eye contact with her. She climbed on top of him slowly, placing her legs around his waist. He looked down at her body and in a haze of horniness, slid the $20 in a space he made fingering her underwear against her rear. Having him touch her again sent gorgeous, yet painful chills down her spine. How she missed having his hands on her every night.

"Are you drunk?" she broke the ice.

"I saw your car here every night during Christmas holidays, and here you are today. I was just curious why would you choose to be here and not in Edmonton.

"Beau."

"Have you no scruples?" he questioned in disgust.

"Enough. If you've come here to put me down, please leave."

Beau paused. She was right. They'd both been through so much drama, there was no sense in causing any more.

"I'm sorry. I'm not here to upset you. It's just that, I wonder why you were here on Christmas. How does your family feel about this?"

It was time to tell Beau everything. At this point, she had nothing to lose, and she was tired of living a lie.

"I have no family."

"What? You said they were in Edmonton."

"I lied. I don't have a clue who my family are. They were deported back to Mexico at the USA border, and I have no idea how I ended up in Canada."

Beau's eyes loomed at this truth. Suddenly half of the cold words he knew he'd said to her felt 8,000 times more painful.

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because, I didn't want you feeling sorry for me. My whole life has been a poor girl pity party. I'm sick of it. I'm more sick of it than having these men buy me for a dance. I'm a person and just because I don't have parental figures doesn't mean that my life is worthless! I've done absolutely everything for myself, and I won't let that go now."

She tried to fight back tears. She was so sick of this routine. She was tired of society making her feel like something was missing from her, that she was inadequate. She never felt anything was wrong with her until every person that met her insisted that she'd had a bad childhood; only then did she begin to think it was true.

"What about those stories you told me? About how happy you were when you were a kid in the snow, and how your mom would read you stories before bed?"

"Those were just, the day dreams that I would have, wishing I had a normal life."

Beau was overcome with disgusting guilt. He wanted to cry for her, but she just told him she hated that. "I'm at a loss. I hope my harsh comments about your family didn't hurt you even more. I wish you would have told me."

"What does it matter in the end? You don't like this job, family or not."

"True. I guess, I just understand a bit more. Victoria," Beau paused before being more open than her body before him. "I'm still in love with you."

Her face didn't change, but she knew her eyes lit up with glee. She didn't hesitate to reply.

"I'm still in love with you too."

He smiled at her while she held no emotion; she couldn't. People were watching them.

"Please, quit this job. I will pay for your home. I will find a way to get your tuition covered."

"I can't. You know I can't do that. I have learned to get by alone after all of these years. Do you know who I am? I am a self sufficient person in a world where everyone thinks the world owes them something. So maybe my dignity is long gone, but I have my pride in taking care of myself, and to me, that is the most important aspect of my life. I won't give that up, not for anybody."

"I'm begging you. Let go of your independence, and come with me."

"My strength and my independence have been all I have relied on to keep my spirits up. Why would I give up all of that now when I'm so close to living my perfect life? I know it doesn't make sense to you, but it means the world to me. Even if this job is so poor on the moral structure, I did it to get by. I won't feel bad about that."

Beau over looked her body, his mind flickering back to the seconds of previous nights when he'd ran his tongue over her nipples, gripped her waist, lavishing her in all the right places.

"I want to feel you again so badly."

"I as well," she whispered in his ear and kissed his forehead. Beau felt his penis tense up as he lowered himself further in the seat.

"Make me your New Years resolution."

The song ended and Victoria said nothing. She got up and slowly backed away, still holding Beau's eyes captive. When she turned around, she felt the tears swelling in her eyes.

Beau continued to sit, staring at her as she returned to the stage and began dancing again. Instead of being tarnished in anger, he pitied her. He tried to resonate what his life would be like if he had no family, no loved ones to discourage this career. Knowing now that she had no financial support beyond herself, no one to feel shy about this job, it made more sense. But it still didn't make it easy for him to accept.

Victoria drove home, unable to stop thinking about Beau and what had ensued. She wasn't normally turned on after a shift since it was a job no matter what, but she couldn't erase the memory of him sliding his fingers into her underwear out of her mind. She parked in front of her home, surprised to see Beau's car also parked.

As she parked, he stepped out immediately and walked up to her. Staring from above, he eyed her with such an urge. Did it matter what she had done just minutes ago? That she was fully nude in front of another man moments before? He leaned down and kissed her for the first time in two months. Her heavenly lips against his own made him want to throw out everything he knew or upheld just to have her again.

They walked up to her front door where she unlocked it, Beau pushing the door to allow them both in. As soon as the door was shut, Beau wrapped his arms around her and kissed her again with full force.

Still kissing, they tangoed into her bedroom where they fell onto the bed. Beau threw their clothes off one by one until there was a growing pile on the floor of their wardrobe. Now naked, Beau began kissing her jawline and her neck, his hands eagerly grabbing at all of the spots he missed so much. The smell of strip club lingered on her body, but it did nothing to stop his urges. She wrapped her legs around his waist to usher in the moment that he'd press himself inside. Beau took her cue and slid himself in, melting in the tranquil feel to be inside her again. He refused to let any of their drama enter the situation; right now this was just pure lust. He began thrusting himself in a smooth rhythm while they continued passion fueled kissing. He wouldn't miss a beat in having her every way that he could.

Beau had cut his hair, she noticed, when her fingers failed to hold onto his locks the way she used to do. He used to do a lot of things: call her the perfect women, respect her, make love to her every night. Instead here they were in just a one night stand, where she knew she'd wake up feeling worse knowing this would never happen again. She tried her best to ignore this thought, and honed inside on the orgasm building up inside. Beau was still shoving himself in and out, still grasping her body and holding her tight, still claiming his spot as the best she'd ever had. What she'd do to hold onto this moment forever.

At last, Beau came and he slowed his pace until he'd stopped completely.

"You didn't orgasm?" he asked.

"No."

"Why not?" Beau was surprised. She always came.

She didn't want to admit that it was the pain that suffocated her pleasure. "I.."

"Do you want me to go down on you? You know that's my fetish…"

"No, it's okay. I don't deserve you."

Beau respected her own self inflicted punishment and rolled over. He kissed her shoulder and down her arm, acting like he would any other night that they were still together. She'd been quiet, and so he summoned the same attitude.

"What is this?" she spoke up, murdering the awkward silence.

"I'm steadfast on my morals, as are you."

"Yes."

"Perhaps then," Beau looked over at her with great sadness, but knew it was the best reply. "..it was just a night of enjoyment between two passing ships in the night."

It was. When Victoria woke up, he was gone.