Chapter 5

Gaara, Kankuro, and I hid in a dark, muggy room and listened to the immense multitude of footsteps above the ceiling.

Remember how we were all confused about where all the humans had gone? Mystery solved: they're in Sunagakure. Okay, maybe not even close to all of them are here, but the number of inhabited humans roaming the streets was unbelievable.

One second, all five of us were walking quietly in the direction of the large town hall building that marks the city's center, but then we turned a corner, and seemingly thousands of eyes turned to look at us. Shikamaru got caught because he'd been leading the pack, and Temari went after him with a soldier's fury, only to be overpowered as well.

My chest heaved as I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head to clear it of the panicked thoughts. They weren't killed, just captured. Worst case scenario, they become inhabited, and we save them.

The three of us remaining managed to outrun the massive hoard of attackers and found a sewage grate loose in a slim alleyway to disappear down. Luckily, it didn't lead straight into the disgusting pipes I expected but to a concrete walkway. We made our way down it for a couple minutes until we came upon what appeared to be a control room of sorts and locked ourselves inside to try and wait out the giant search party above ground.

A few of them had followed us down, but judging by the loud splashes we heard soon after, they were no longer a threat.

Service lights were every couple of yards, providing the bare minimum amount of vision needed to navigate the concrete walkways without blindly falling into the rapidly moving water. Gaara, who led the way, misstepped not long after our descent, and Kankuro and I barely grabbed each of his hands in time to save him from being carried away with the current.

We could only hear their footsteps because of the sheer number of them, so there wasn't really a point in trying to keep my breathing silent, but I was too on edge to relax. The sound of running water was so loud that it almost overrode the people above us, the volume akin to that of a waterfall.

Gaara's pale skin glistened in the low light, and I could see goosebumps dusting every inch as he glared toward the metal door, body crouched at the ready in case someone suddenly came through. We'd locked it, but would be fools to believe that'd stop anyone.

Even if he can't feel physical pain, he can feel hot and cold, so he had to be uncomfortable, but he remained silent and shivering. It led me to wonder where his capability to feel sensations ended. At what point in freezing does it become so cold that it hurts?

My throat was healed enough that it was just slightly uncomfortable to speak now since two days had passed since the night we spent in the hospital. I didn't hesitate to whisper loud enough that he could hear me above the other noises, "You need to take off your clothes, or you'll get hypothermia."

He glanced back before giving me one shake of his head and refocusing on the door. I could feel the fear and unease leaking from his being into mine via the odd mind-linking sensation and swallowed nervously.

Before I could think of something to say that might convince him to adhere to my advice, Kankuro crept over and propped a chair under the door's handle so it'd be impossible to open from the outside. There weren't any windows leading out of the room, so as long as we remained quiet, no one could tell this room wasn't empty.

Realizing this, Gaara began gingerly removing his soaking wet clothes with trembling hands. I took the items from him as he did and laid them out across the large table and various chairs in the room so they'd have a chance to dry at least a little while we rested. Even after changing into his other set of clothing, he was shivering.

Ignoring Kankuro's gaze, I forced myself in between Gaara's arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders to speed up the process of warming him up. His legs were crossed under my bottom, and his strong arms wrapped entirely around me so he could bury his face in my chest.

A blush started to rise when I met Kankuro's eye, and he gave me a knowing smirk but didn't say anything about it. Instead, he mused, "What's the plan, guys?"

Still shivering, Gaara lifted his head slightly and rested it on my shoulder as he turned his neck to look at his brother, "There are too many of them. We'll get caught the moment we go above ground."

I frowned, rubbing my hands up and down his back to try and create some friction-heat. My injured wrist was also on the mend, and it still hurt to move it in specific ways, but I could tell progress was being made.

"Well, we can't just hide down here forever. Even if we can't save Temari and Shikamaru right now, we need to get out of here so we can warn everyone else not to approach this area," I forced out.

Kankuro cursed, "Fuck, I totally forgot about the others. They'll be here soon, too, I bet."

Gaara turned his face into my neck, and I swallowed anxiously when he spoke, cold lips brushing lightly against my skin, "Kiba will hear them in time."

His brother argued, "We can't make assumptions like that. What if something happened and they got separated?"

My mind reeled as I tried to think of something, only for Gaara's previous words to replay. "We'll get caught the moment we go above ground."

Unsure, I asked, "How far do you think these tunnels go?"

The two men seemed to pick up on my train of thought, and Kankuro nodded slowly, "We can look for other exits further away from this area. It's worth a shot." We decided to rest a bit more while Gaara warmed up the rest of the way, and once his shivers finally stopped, we cautiously left the small room.

My small pocket knife was in my left hand, but all three of us knew how hard it was for me to use it since my dominant hand was the injured one. Both of them had knives as well, Shikamaru being the one of us who had a gun, but it was captured when he was.

We walked in the damp concrete tunnel for nearly an hour before it finally opened into a large circular room. I blinked a few times as my eyes adjusted to the brighter area. Maybe ten yards away, across a flooded room, lay another concrete walkway, but a rusted old ladder ran up the wall near the tunnel it led to.

My eyes traveled up the ladder, maybe twenty yards or so, to land on a metal grate identical to the one we'd disappeared under. Sun shone through its holes, illuminating the water-filled space between us and what appeared to be the answer to our current problem.

Hope rose in my chest when I noticed another ladder, this one also metal, slid into a holder of sorts on the edge of the platform. It was undoubtedly meant to act as a bridge over the water, but there was no way to reach it from where we were standing. Kankuro removed his bracelet, made of metal, and tossed it into the room. The sound told us that the water was incredibly deep, and none of us were tall enough to cross on foot.

Teeth grit, I slid my backpack off my shoulders and unzipped my coat to start taking it off.

"You're not going in there. What the fuck are you thinking, Matsu?"

I glared at Kankuro, tugging my shirt off over my head with a red face before balancing on one foot to start pulling my boots off, "I'm a good swimmer."

He caught my shoes when I tossed them at his chest, and I swallowed my pride before unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them off. There's no way in hell I'm getting my warmest clothes ruined and soaking wet in that water. Even if there was a bit of light in the room, it was still too dark to tell if it was clean. I'd rather they both see my underwear. Both of them seemed unbothered by my undressing anyway, more focused on the situation.

Gaara glared but didn't say a word. I'm grateful he's not the type to try and control or boss me around. He only does it when he's extremely angry or concerned. Any other time, he doesn't bother because he knows I'm not about to listen.

Taking a calming breath, I forced myself to dive in with vigor before I could talk myself out of it. Ice. No, even colder than ice. My limbs were freezing to the point that it felt like they were made of heavy metal rather than skin and bones.

I quickly made it to the other side and gasped for breath as my fingers shakily grasped the edge so I could pull myself up onto the platform, cursing softly under my breath. Shivers were vibrating my body so harshly that I'm sure it looked like I was suffering from a mild seizure, but I forced myself to move and tried to slide the ladder across the room so the boys could come across without getting wet, but it didn't budge.

"There's a latch at the edge. See it? It's yellow!" I heard Kankuro's words and crawled to see the yellow metal arm blocking the ladder.

Bare knees on the rough concrete, I bent over slightly to pry the thing out of the way and shoved the ladder across with all my might, only to jump in fright when both boys started yelling my name. I looked up and saw them looking behind me with wide eyes as they hurried to cross the thin metal bridge, and I turned just in time to see someone throwing a kick at me. Their large shoe hit the center of my back, and then I was in the water again.

Water flooded my lungs instantly, and I choked when my body naturally tried to expel it. Fear locked my limbs when something brushed against me, and my eyes shot open to try and see what it was, but it was too dark, and everything was black. My heart pumped wildly in my chest as I realized I didn't know which way was up, and ceasing my struggle didn't make me float upward.

The thing from before brushed against me again and suddenly didn't feel so gentle. Instead, it felt like someone's hand was grabbing at me. Terror shot through me, and I tried to scream, only for more water to flood my airways, and I kicked and fought with all my might. Then, someone grabbed my hand and pulled me before another hand joined it, and then I wasn't under the water anymore.

I coughed as Kankuro and Gaara pulled me up to the platform, only to shriek in terror and try to kick wildly when a hand shot out of the water to grasp onto my ankle. Luckily, whoever or whatever it was lost their grip because of how slick my wet skin was, and I flitted away from the water in a panic, not even caring that I was still in my underwear as Kankuro pulled me back with a firm hold on my arm.

"What t-t-the fuck was that!"

My ankle hit something on the ground as I continued to back away from the water, and I turned to see a bloodied and unconscious man lying there. Another scream came from my lips, and I tripped to the side as I tried to escape that awful thing, too. Arms wrapped around my shivering body, and I jumped in fright before turning to see that it was Gaara and bursting into tears.

I forced myself to redress despite my terror because if that unconscious inhabited man was down here, others might be as well, not to mention whatever human-like thing underwater had been. None of us said anything as we climbed the ladder, and we finally had a moment of luck when the grate led to an empty alleyway.

We cautiously traveled for a long time, having to hide on more than one occasion as inhabited people passed by. The two men seemed to know where they were going, so I followed their lead as they brought us through multiple city streets until we reached an apartment complex and went upstairs. I realized it was one of the meeting places in Suna that those of us from The Program had come up with.

Gaara propped a chair against the door the moment it was closed behind us, and my eyes darted around quickly, searching for any sign of movement or danger.

"This is our place."

I turned to look at Kankuro's face in shock. This is where the Subakus lived before…?

My body continued to shiver as I stepped forward and looked around with more attention paid to detail. The furniture was worn down, and thick curtains blocked almost all of the world's natural light from entering. However, I could still see all the off-putting things sitting on the coffee table: cigarettes, multiple wads of money, a couple knives, and even a gun.

I'm no fool. Even a lot of the others know the Subaku siblings have dangerous backgrounds, but coming face to face with proof of that fact still took me off guard, but only for a second. I turned to look at the other two, and my heart tugged when I realized they were waiting for my reaction with poorly guarded anxiety on their faces.

Arms still around my icy cold body, I shook my head to wordlessly assure them that I didn't give a damn about any of it. No one left The Program the same person they arrived, me included. Not only that, but I've seen firsthand some of Gaara's past, and I know how hard it's been for them over the years. They did what they had to do to make ends meet and survive. I could never blame someone for simply wanting to live.

"Why're you just standing there, bro? Get her some blankets or something." The redhead shot his older brother a sharp glare before grabbing my wrist and pulling me down the hallway. I glanced back at Kankuro, and he gave me a wink, but I was drawn into one of the rooms before I could respond.

Is he trying to act like my wingman or something? That's definitely the vibe he just gave off.

My eyes widened instantly when the door to his bedroom shut behind us, and a vaguely familiar, attractive scent met my nose. A daze came over me as I tried to recall what it was or where I'd experienced it in the past, only to come up short.

Gaara snapped me out of my stupor by tugging my arms away from my body and calmly helping me out of my damp clothing. When he handed me some clothes to wear while they dried and I put them on, I realized what the smell was. It was him, or what he smelled the first time I met him.

The deodorant, cologne, or mixture of both was intoxicating, and my face warmed as I was taken back to the first time I laid eyes on Gaara Subaku. It was when we were all following Madara downstairs on the morning of our arrival. I was much clumsier then and stumbled on the last step, only to catch myself by grabbing onto the back of his shirt.

My anxiety was much worse then, too, so I'd quickly removed myself and apologized, only for him to turn around and glare at me like a mere bug in the dirt. He hadn't even needed to say anything for me to understand that if I made that mistake again, it'd be the last thing I ever did. I'd been so scared of him that day, but I still remember thinking he smelled very nice.

My eyes studied the dark room. It looked more like a guest room than a person's full-time bedroom because there weren't any decorations or memorabilia from school. Clothes were hung in the closet, primarily dark colors, and the bed had a thick black blanket atop it. A small desk sat against the wall, and it was well organized, with a stack of notebooks and sketch pads on one side and a coffee mug with pens and pencils on the other.

I glanced at Gaara. His back was turned as he hung my damp clothes on some hangers so they'd dry evenly. I crossed the room and carefully picked up the smallest book, the one at the top of the small stack on his desk, so I could flip it open. My eyes widened at the picture within, but it was snatched out of my hands before I could study it further.

"Don't…do that." Teal eyes bore hesitantly down into mine. He struggled to remind himself that he didn't have to lash out as an initial reaction anymore. Returning here must bring back some harsh memories.

I did my best to appear unbothered, so he wouldn't think he'd hurt my feelings, "Did you draw that? It's amazing!" I only saw one picture, but it was a still-life sketch of a vase of flowers. A soft blush dusted his cheeks, and he sat the book back in its place on the desk but didn't say anything.

My limbs were still shivering from the cold, so I glanced at his bed before meeting his eye again, "Can we..um.." He nodded, climbing into bed before lifting his arm so I could come down beside him. Then he wrapped his arms around me with the heavy blanket over us, and I nuzzled more closely against him before letting out a soft sigh.

Thankfully, my hair was nearly dry now, and the water hadn't appeared to be all that dirty because my skin was clean and didn't smell foul. I'd still say yes to a shower in a heartbeat, though.

A knock came at the door, and we both turned to see Kankuro peek his head in, "I'm going to bed. Play nice, kids." My face erupted with heat, and he snickered before shutting the door again. I think I preferred it more when he was annoying and flirty rather than all but encouraging me to sexually corrupt his little brother.

"Matsuri."

Gaara pulled my attention back to him, and I put a few inches between us to meet his eye, making a sound of acknowledgment so he'd continue with what he wanted to say. There was a somewhat negative expression on his handsome face that I didn't like one bit.

"Before all this, I was…."

My brow furrowed, and I surprised us both by tearing up, but angrily grabbed a handful of his shirt, "Don't you dare start trying to convince me not to like you."

His tone became a bit irritated, "I've hurt a lot of people. I don't want to hide it from you."

The guilt and regret in his eyes broke my heart. I released his shirt and gently cupped his cheek, lowering my voice, "And I've killed two people now, so we're both fucked up. Who cares?"

Gaara suddenly seemed angry, "I'd hardly consider either of those men 'people' after what they did." I understand him saying that about Usotsuki, but not the other one.

"The one in Oto was inhabited. It wasn't his fault-"

"He's lucky you killed him. If I would've been there-!" I kissed him. I didn't know what else to do. That he's ready and willing to kill for my sake is flattering and terrifying.

After a few moments, we parted, and he surprised me by hesitantly brushing my hair out of my face, an unfamiliar warmth meeting his beautiful teal eyes. I ended the conversation with nothing else to say, "I don't care about anything that happened before. I like you no matter what."

An odd feeling churned in my stomach as the word "like" left my mouth, and I realized, out of nowhere, that it was no longer strong enough to describe how I felt about him. The heart in my chest rose into my throat as he kissed me again, obviously appreciating the reassurance.

On the outside, I reacted normally, but on the inside, a million sirens and warnings were going off. It wasn't in response to anything he did but to the fact that the word "love" even dared cross my mind.

What do I do?! I can't tell him, or he might feel guilty and force himself to try having a long-distance relationship after all this just to not hurt my feelings. Realistically, I know he's not the type to do something like that, but up until a couple weeks ago, I couldn't even fathom him kissing someone. Now we've slept together and everything! I have no idea how he'll respond if I say those words. It might really and truly scare him away.

Warm fingers dancing under my shirt and up to my chest snapped me back to attention, and I realized the aura in the room had somehow become more heated. With not nearly the same hesitation as last time, we helped one another with our clothes. Soon, Gaara's lips were against my neck as his fingers roamed between my legs to warm me up.

My breath hitched, and I felt him exhale against my moist skin as he whispered, "Quietly."

I nodded, a hand on either of his shoulders as I squeezed my eyes closed and focused on not making a peep. If Kankuro catches us hooking up like this, I might die of embarrassment.

He resumed what he was doing, and I held on for dear life. He's so warm. There's so much heat.

A shockwave of pleasure rolled up my spine, and I hissed out, "G-Gaara, I l-" My eyes shot open in realization of what I had nearly said, and I panicked, rolling over on top of him. Wide teal eyes stared up at me, completely stunned.

Unsure of what to say, I continued to panic and moved lower until I could properly take him into my mouth. "Matsuri!"

My eyes lifted up to lock onto his, and my heart melted at the bashful expression on his face, reminding me of the first time I did this to him. Feeling encouraged, I focused on my actions.

After a couple minutes, he groaned, "If you don't stop, I'm gonna-" True to his warning, when I didn't heed his warning, hot fluids erupted in my mouth moments later. Then I sat up between his legs with my fingers over my lips as I swallowed it, face bright red as he stared with wide eyes. The first time was an accident, but I did it intentionally this time.

Feeling a bit embarrassed, I climbed off the bed and got my water bottle from my backpack by the door to wash away the taste of his fluids from my tongue so he wouldn't feel weird if he chose to kiss me again. When I came back, the blanket was down low on his hips, and one of his arms was back behind his pillow: a vision of sex right before my eyes.

He didn't seem to realize it and gave me an odd look when I hesitated to disturb the beautiful scene, "You'll get cold."

I relented, climbing under the covers and accepting his body heat as he rolled on top of me once more. After teasing me a bit more, he finally pressed himself inside. He was so careful and slow to make sure I wasn't uncomfortable or in pain before beginning to move. This time, his hands were on either of my knees as he stood at the edge of the bed.

It felt amazing, every single movement he made. Still, barely a minute could pass before my previous thoughts returned and interrupted the steadily growing climax and threatened to ruin my mood altogether. I watched as he let his head fall back slightly, eyes closed, and my chest tightened.

I do love him.

I'm sure of it.

In fact, I don't know that I've ever been more sure of something in my life.

Contrary to that, one of the things I'm least sure about is how he feels about me. The man in question noticed my staring and bent over me, taking me completely by surprise by interlacing our fingers, his other hand slowly running up my body to hold my waist.

That move was so…intimate. Does Gaara feel even close to as strongly as I do? I really can't tell. What if he doesn't? I know he at least likes me and cares, but that's light years away from loving someone.

As I searched his beautiful face, my heart sank. I might've gotten my hopes up despite specifically telling myself to prevent it. Being so closely involved like this with him pushed me right over the edge. When he breaks things off, it's going to tear me apart.

Gaara suddenly ceased his movements, and a wave of concern washed over me from him, meaning he could likely feel the dread I'd developed. I squeezed my eyes shut, cursing inwardly when I felt tears roll down the sides of my face from the act.

"Why didn't you stop me?"

I shook my head, taking a calming breath before forcing the awful thoughts away and meeting his eye again, "I'm not scared."

He narrowed his eyes, "Yes, you are. I can feel it."

Those gorgeous seafoam eyes glanced over at his hand, still interlaced with mine as he held it to the bed, and he let go, "Is it because I did this? Tell me if you're not comfortable, Matsuri."

I shook my head again, wiping my tears, "No, I liked it. It's fine, Gaara. I'm alright."

He didn't say anything but gently grabbed my jaw to make me keep eye contact when I tried to look away. My brow furrowed, and I lost my composure, bursting into tears, "I-It's just that I like you so much, okay? I've never felt this way for someone, so I don't know what to do!" I can't say it until I know if our parting is just around the corner. This is the best I can do until then.

"Me too."

Calloused fingers gently wiped away my tears as he frowned, "All of this is new to me, too."

Somehow, that comforted my insecurities enough to calm down and stop crying. The redhead studied my face for a long time before softly kissing me like he was scared one wrong move would put me in tears again.

That's right. I have to enjoy every second with him to the max. I can't keep letting those worries ruin things for me.

After a few moments, I crossed my legs around his hips, and he got the hint to return to what he was doing before. Barely a minute could pass before my back arched off the bed, and I was well on my way to climaxing. Long fingers gripped my hips tightly, lifting my lower body ever so slightly off the mattress so he could attune the angle with which he was entering.

A moan managed to escape my mouth, and we both froze, me slapping a hand over my lips. We momentarily listened for any sign that Kankuro had been woken. I grinned sheepishly at him once I felt the coast was clear, and he lifted me so I was laying correctly on the bed, climbing over me and pulling the covers with him as he tried not to smile, "I said to be quiet."

A hushed laugh past my lips. Gaara muffled it with a kiss before sitting back on his knees, bending my legs up so my feet were on either of his shoulders as he reentered. A slight, shocked sound escaped me, and he covered my mouth with one hand, shaking his head at me in amusement. Then he continued.

An hour later, after everything was said and done, we'd gotten redressed and were finally trying to go to sleep for the night. Warmth enveloped me inside and out from his silent affection, feeling reassured that I shouldn't let myself worry about the future, at least for now.

His name left my mouth, and he made a nondescript half-asleep sound, meaning I'd woken him. "I really like you, I do."

The arms around my middle tightened, and I felt him bury his face in my hair before his deep voice rumbled, "I like you, too. Go to sleep."