Chapter 8

Seafoam green eyes widened when they landed on me, and Gaara's struggling ceased, "Matsuri."

Just like that, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I didn't want Gaara, of all people, to see me looking frozen and sick like this. If I'd known last night that he would be hunted down like an animal, I would've told him to forget about me and get out of Sunagakure while he still had a chance. And I would've kissed the hell out of him.

Thinking back to our odd connected dreams last night, I felt unbearable regret. I didn't even lay a finger on him or offer reassuring words to help ease his stress.

I tried. Oh God, I tried so hard to push The Meishu away from the controls. I mentally kicked, punched, scratched, and did everything else possible to try and gain control of my body, but nothing worked. I was left begging my controller to spare him.

"I'll do anything, I swear. Just please don't hurt him!"

Wide teal eyes widened as Gaara stared in disbelief, not a single trace of the anger I'd seen in them last night to be seen. I hope he doesn't think I was purposefully withholding the fact that I was already inhabited.

The Meishu's leash on my control tightened, the sensation akin to a rope squeezing around my throat, and I sensed he had to put much more effort into each word he spoke, each movement he made my body perform, "If you don't cease your resistance, I'll kill him right now."

I retracted all struggling with terror icing my thoughts. "Please, no! I'll stop!"

The young man in question appeared a bit confused for a fraction of a moment before it seemed to click that it was speaking to me and not him, and then wildfire ignited within his eyes. He was unbelievably pissed, but The Meishu didn't give him a chance to say anything.

Instead, he spoke again, voice much calmer since I didn't dare call his bluff, "You've been brought here today because I'm curious about this host's memories of you."

The voice that responded was unlike I've ever heard Gaara's sound before: truly murderous, "I'm going to kill you."

His rage flooded my brain, and a gasp sucked past my lips as my invader undoubtedly picked up on it, "You care for this woman and will not harm her. You have no choice but to cooperate."

The redhead growled out in response as he tugged at his sister and Shikamaru's hold on his wrists, "I won't have to hurt her much to remove you. She'll understand." I wanted to cheer and kiss him for standing up for both himself and me. He was damn right, too. He could beat the hell out of me if that's what it took, so long as we both made it out of here alive in the end.

"Matsuri, you've become quite resistant since last evening. Has something changed, or was I correct that you've been deceiving me all along?"

The two holding Gaara had to tighten their holds on him as he tried to get free, face red with indignation.

"Well, you fucking molested me and hunted down my boyfriend like he's nothing but an animal! Yes, I'm pissed!" Even if my words were strong, my tone wasn't. It felt awful to be unable to stop him from touching my body…It only took the thought to make me want to be sick.

"You weren't harmed in the process, so why are you having such a strong response?"

"What are you talking about?" Gaara barked, surprising both The Meishu and me.

"Don't tell him. He'll lose his temper!" I knew it was futile even as I pleaded.

"I was curious about the human female body, so I-" I did all I could to stop the words from leaving my mouth and somehow succeeded, but it hurt my mind somewhere deep, each second more than the last.

The redhead's voice was dangerous and threatening, "What?"

The invader regained control again, and I fought to keep my body still, "This has nothing to do with our goals. Leave him alone and go to sleep so you can find the memories you need to see!"

"So long as you cooperate, neither of your bodies will be permanently harmed. My curiosity is persistent."

The redhead interrupted our conversation by hissing in a terrifying voice, "Fuck your curiosity. What the hell did you do to her?"

His rage continued to flow through me, and I frantically tried to send him calming and pleading feelings, attempting to communicate that he had to simmer down or we'd both end up dead. His eyes widened, but he didn't stop fighting. In fact, it seemed to piss him off even further. A wild, unhinged glint started to peek into his eyes, and I didn't want to see what would happen if it remained unchecked.

A knife was suddenly pressed to my neck, and my hand held the hilt. The arm lifting up to hold it there felt like it was made of frozen cement, heavy, ice cold, and severely painful.

"Meishu! What are you doing?"

The room went silent momentarily before he spoke in my voice again, "You cannot feel physical pain. This I know from Matsuri's memories, but you can still suffer."

Anger was replaced with fear, bloodlust replaced with desperation, and then the Subaku man was as obedient as a well-trained dog.

In the corner of my vision, I saw Sakura had turned and left the room and wondered where she was going, but I couldn't fathom dwelling on the thought with Gaara right in front of me in so much danger.

"Follow. If you attempt to harm or remove me in any way, I'll kill this woman. As The Meishu, a host dying won't end my life like it does my brethren."

The others released Gaara, and he glanced back at his sister with a heartbreaking expression before facing me again, jaw flexing. His eyes kept meeting mine as we walked into the small room The Pacificis' leader had been using as a bedroom. It felt like he was trying to look into me and not at me.

Each step I took hurt worse than the last, and every glimpse of my own skin only made me feel more frantic. I'm turning blue. If I don't do something soon, I'll start losing fingers or possibly even die. The door closed behind us, and when Gaara's eyes landed on the massive pile of pillows and blankets forming the makeshift cot, a glimpse of realization met his aura.

Seeming to want clarification, he asked in a barely subdued voice, "What do you want?"

"There are many unfamiliar emotions I've witnessed secondhand while viewing Matsuri's memories of you. I wish to experience them for myself to better understand humans and their complex relationships."

"Please don't ask him to-" "Tell me what you want me to do," Gaara cut me off, stunning me with his obedience.

"Approach as you normally would. Matsuri told me you're the only person she'll allow to touch her."

The expression on his face was hard to interpret. He looked heartbroken, enraged, and confused all at once, but I could tell he wouldn't argue. Thankfully, the Meishu remained silent as the redhead took a few slow steps forward to stand before me.

His fingers trembled slightly as he lifted his hands to my arms, wincing when he undoubtedly felt how cold my skin was. The palms of his hands were so warm it was almost painful how jarringly different the temperature was from mine. Strong arms wrapped firmly around me more quickly than I thought he could convince himself to do. For a moment, I was confused about why he was going along so eagerly before realizing he was doing this to try and warm my body up. He was doing it for my sake.

I felt it all, the warmth of his skin against mine and even the quickening of my heartbeat. It wasn't my emotions making my pulse speed up, though, because my body wasn't in my control.

I asked suspiciously, "Wait... Can you feel it, too?"

"I cannot, but I can feel your response to it," my voice was flat and lifeless, but I got the feeling The Pacifici within me was excited, "More."

Gaara seemed to sense that my body wouldn't move without instruction, so he moved my arms around him before pulling me closer than before, and I stared up at his eyes, feeling conflicted. He was desperately trying to pretend it was actually me requesting him to do this. I could see it clearly.

"It's alright, Gaara. Everything's gonna be okay."

His eyes widened as well as mine. I wanted to say that to try and ease his obviously reeling mind, and my body obeyed.

The Meishu took a step away from him, pulling my arms back, but kept my eyes focused on him as he spoke, "I warned you of what I'll do if you disobey me again." The redhead in front of me seemed to struggle to contain his anger again.

I desperately apologized, "I-I swear, I didn't mean to! I don't even know how I did that!"

"Control yourself or I'll-" my mouth stopped moving, and the room was silent for more than a couple minutes. I was too scared of angering The Meishu again to do anything, and Gaara seemed to have the same feeling.

Finally, The Meishu gasped before clutching my neck intently, gasping for breath as my heart pumped wildly, "This man's brother, you fought two men to protect him. Why did you do that? Explain this to me."

Teal eyes narrowed, and I couldn't tell if it was because this invader had drastically changed the subject or if it was because I never told him exactly what happened while Kankuro and I were alone, so he didn't know that I had to take down more than one man that day.

I waited a moment to see if the thing would say anything else, but he didn't, and I explained, "I'd do the same thing for Gaara, or any of my other friends, too."

"The sensations I felt were very negative. Explain how y-"

I was beginning to lose my patience, "Will you just go to sleep so you can access the rest of my memories? We're wasting time here!" To my surprise, it was like my words were an order, and his consciousness faded so much that I could regain control.

Eyes wide with disbelief, I grabbed Gaara's hands and ignored his bewildered expression, "You need to knock me out! I don't care how you do it, just-" My control ceased, and I didn't need access to The Meishu's thoughts or emotions to know that he was angry.

"I warned you."

Then I was attacking Gaara, knife at the ready in my left hand. He managed to dodge my initial attempt at stabbing him and quickly had me pinned to the ground, my wrists pressed against my stomach with one of his hands. Thank God these things didn't retain our fighting skill or technique when inhabiting us, or we'd be in much more trouble.

Inside my own head, I was yelling at him to do it, to hit me hard enough that I'd pass out, but was stunned to see him hesitate with his fist raised, "I…can't…." The Meishu took advantage of his struggle and quickly gained the upper hand, climbing atop him and placing the knife under his jaw with the intent to slice it from one side to the other.

The panic and desperation in my chest were so intense that it was hard to breathe, but I had to keep fighting. I had to stop him. My lips moved with my own words as I struggled, mind burning hot like lava as The Pacifici and I fought for dominance, "S-Stop!"

A gasp sucked in past my lips as I regained control of my body, just like before, and I frantically flitted off Gaara's body, stumbling upright.

"Matsuri, I can't-"

"You have to! I promise I won't be upset. Just do it!"

He grabbed my shoulder with one hand and formed a fist with his other, but tears began to well up in his eyes. I felt my control slipping and pulled his face down to kiss him before I lost it.

"What are you- Matsuri!"

After tearing away from him, I took a deep breath before facing the wall and slammed my head as hard as possible against it. Overwhelming pain erupted on impact, and I felt Gaara's arms come to keep me upright when my body started to go down.

It felt like I was unconscious for barely a minute. When I awoke, my head throbbed worse than when that man in Oto hit it against a wall. My control was gone again, and somehow, I felt mentally weakened, like forcing myself above the thing in my neck was too strenuous.

My eyes crept open, and I realized I'd busted my head open when I slammed it against the ground because blood was in my eyes, making my vision blurry. It wasn't so bad that I couldn't see Gaara straddling my hips, holding my hands to the ground above my head.

Bright teal eyes bore into mine, filled to the brim with despair and unbridled rage, but before he could say a word, my lips were moving, "You were being honest."

It was hard to stay alert with the level of exhaustion weighing my mind down, "You finally saw it, didn't you?"

"Yes. I understand the situation now."

Then everything went black.