Chapter 9

Have you ever spent hours in the ocean or some other body of water with waves, and then, when you go to bed later on, you can still feel the motion affecting your body as you lay still?

That's what it felt like. For what seemed like days…I think. I'm not sure, actually. Each wave that moved my consciousness brought the slightest bit of neither good nor bad dizziness. It just was.

In the pitch black of my mind, once in a while, there'd be a spark of barely-there dark gray and an unintelligible whisper of sound that sent intrigue through me, but I could never comprehend it and then they'd fade away again.

And it was cold, ice cold. Maybe this ocean was near one of the poles. How long have I been letting these waves decide where I go? Have I floated lifelessly to one of the ends of the Earth? I don't remember how to swim… I might sink if I try to move, so I'm too afraid to try.

Time passed in a haze until the black sky was suddenly replaced with gorgeous and expressive teal eyes, pale skin, and blood-red hair.

…Who is that? I think I recognize him. No, I know I remember him. I love him, and I have to go. I have to do something!

Gaara…

A quick, steady beeping suddenly began ringing loudly in my ears. Each time it sounded, a harsh ache shocked through my head. It hurts. Slowly, like ice thawing in the sun, the feeling returned to the rest of my body. The waves are gone, but it's still cold.

"Ma….." Someone's saying something, I think, but I can't hear them over that damned beeping.

My brow furrowed because everything felt so heavy. It seems unfathomable to lift an arm or leg right now. Just that act alone felt like lifting a heavy dumbbell.

"Can you hear me?" An unfamiliar voice suddenly asked from closeby, and it was clear as day.

It was incredibly strenuous, but I managed to crack my eyes open. My vision was blurry for a long time. I had to blink multiple times for it to clear up so I could see a middle-aged woman with blonde hair looking down at me.

In that instant, the memory of everything in Sunagakure returned, and terror shot through my entire being. Is Gaara okay? Am I dead? What's going on?

The beeping nearly doubled in speed, and the woman smiled softly, reassuringly, "Everything's alright Matsuri. You can relax. You're alive. Everyone's safe."

A stiff, solid object choked me when I tried to ask what was happening, and I realized there was a tube down my throat. Tears welled up in my eyes as my panic increased.

"Hold on a moment. I'll take it out. Don't try to move yet." The woman did as she said she would, and breathing became less strenuous. I swallowed anxiously, the act proving a million times harder than I remember. "You've been in a coma, Sweetheart. You've worried many people, taking this long to wake up."

My eyes left her face for the first time since she began speaking, and I noticed a long table across what I now recognized as a hospital room. It was full of flowers, gift bags, and cards. Then I saw a sofa on the wall to the right of the bed I was lying on. It had a blanket and pillow folded nicely on top of one cushion, as though ready to be used as a bed.

"It might be a day or two before you can talk. Can you do me a favor and blink once if you want to say "no" and blink twice if you want to say "yes"?" I blinked twice, and she seemed relieved, as though she wasn't sure I was comprehending her up to this point.

"Good job. I know you're probably tired, but I need to know if you remember what happened before you passed out."

I blinked twice again, and she visibly relaxed a bit, "Alright, Matsuri, you can rest now. You've done well, holding on this long. You should be proud of yourself." The woman didn't need to tell me twice. Just those few minutes of consciousness took every ounce of energy out of me.

When I woke again, the same woman was there and adjusted my bed so I was slightly upright so she could feed me some gross-looking mush that luckily didn't taste that bad. She introduced herself as Dr. Tsunade and informed me that she's been treating me since day one.

Apparently, she has skills similar to Sakura in healing, which is why my body isn't in as bad a state as it should be and is also why I apparently jumped straight from being comatose to awake. According to her, it's incredibly rare for that type of thing to happen. I, thankfully, won't need nearly as much physical therapy or recovery time since she's been looking after me, healing me day after day.

She also explained that I'm in Konoha now, and it's been nearly eight months since I last awake. When she gave me that news, I almost fainted from the shock.

Eight months?! That's not much less than a year!

Things have apparently almost completely returned to how they were before the invasion. I missed all the rebuilding, mourning, and reunions.

Once the meal was finished, she lay a hand atop mine and lowered her voice, "I haven't told any of your friends that you've woken up yet because I have to receive your permission since you're lucid. Would you like me to?"

I hesitated, trying not to blink at all. Who exactly is Dr. Tsunade referring to when she says "friends"? It's not exactly possible to ask her right now. As I thought about it, I blinked twice after changing my mind. I don't care who they are. If they've checked on me even after so much time has passed, I owe it to them to say thank you, to show gratitude.

"Okay, I'll make the notifications, then. One more question, when would you like to begin having visitors? Tomorrow?" I shook my head slightly, a wave of pain and dizziness coming over me as I temporarily forgot about my body's state.

"Don't move yet. I told you that!" Tsunade stood so I could better meet her eye and offered a sheepish look, "I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think I'll be able to stop them from coming in once they find out you've woken up. Everyone's been so worried about you."

I felt tears well in my eyes, and an understanding glint met her gaze. She patted my hand again, "I know this is hard, and you're confused, but if you're strong enough to survive this long, then I have no doubt you'll recover quickly. You're gonna be just fine, Matsuri." I could move my fingers and turned my hand to grab onto hers. It was all I could do to say thank you.

A warm smile met her lips, and she squeezed my hand softly before letting it go, "I'll make the announcement in the morning, so make sure you get a good night's rest." I blinked twice, and then she collected her belongings and left me alone again.

She said she won't be able to prevent them from coming in here, so it's someone stubborn. The most significant part of me hopes it's Gaara and his siblings, but I know better than to get my hopes up because if it's not them and they've returned to Sunagakure and forgotten all about me, I'll just be that much more heartbroken.

Somehow, through all the drama, fighting, and blood, I'd come to see them as a found family. Temari's an overbearing big sister with a temper but a big heart when it counts. Kankuro's like an obnoxious older brother who'll tease you for anything and everything, but you can't help but love him anyway because he's a good person who loves you right back when it's all said and done.

And Gaara…Oh, Gaara…I'm so in love with him that it physically hurts to think about it.

Just the thought of something terrible happening to him makes me angry enough to face an army alone. I want to protect him. I'll do anything to protect him.

He deserves all the good things in life, and I so desperately want to be the one to give them to him, even if it's incredibly selfish of me to wish for something like that. I want it all. I want every smile, every laugh, and even every bad day. I don't care, so long as it's him.

Warm tears rolled down my cheeks as I closed my eyes. If Gaara's gone, if he left, I will be okay. I'll have to be. Giving up isn't a choice after fighting so hard to survive, but I'll be totally and completely devastated.

I fell asleep a bit later, and when I woke up next, I realized it wasn't light out yet. Either I slept more than twenty-four hours or less than eight. Also, the obnoxious beeping from the heart monitor was blaring from the monitor's speaker again. After realizing it made my head throb, Dr. Tsunade had muted it for me earlier.

My eyes fluttered open, and I carefully turned my head to look in its direction, only to freeze in complete disbelief. On the sofa across the room…Gaara's sleeping there.

The loud beeping sped up substantially, and I glanced between it and him frantically before hissing softly as I adjusted the bed to sit up so I could try to reach for the dial and attempt to turn it down to not wake him. I struggled to lift my arm high enough to do it, cursing inwardly. Thanks to Tsunade's hard work, I can already move just a bit like this. It's just excruciating.

My heartbeat only sped up when the redhead groaned, lifting a hand to rub his eyes. I felt my mouth open slightly in disbelief. He doesn't seem well now that I really look at him. Gaara's a bit thinner than I remember, and those dark rings around his eyes are almost twice as dark as I last saw.

The man in question seemed to freeze as the fast beeping finally appeared to reach his comprehension, and he sat up to look in my direction, a look of obvious concern on his features.

The moment our eyes met, it was like time completely froze. My arm fell lifelessly back onto the mattress when Gaara said my name in the most gut-wrenching voice. He slowly got up with an expression that said he was questioning whether or not this was really happening or if it was simply all a dream.

As he cautiously approached, the air left my lungs, heat rising to my face. As soon as he stood at my bedside, I was stunned even further when he burst into tears. Then I was crying, too, and an overwhelming sense of comfort came over me when he caressed my face like I was the most precious and breakable treasure before kissing me.

I almost immediately got lightheaded with all the heightened emotions, and he seemed to realize that and pulled away, moving up to kiss my forehead as I tried to steady my heart.

"I've missed you." His voice was hoarse. Then he kissed the top of my head.

Gaara's fingers were trembling so severely that it began to worry me. I weakly tried to grab ahold of his shirt so he'd pull back, and I could see his face, and he actually realized that's what I wanted. He sat on the edge of my bed, wiping his tears with one hand and interlacing our fingers with his other. I just let mine fall. It's not like I can lift my hands high enough to do anything about them anyway.

"Can you talk?"

I shook my head slowly, careful not to hurt it like last time.

His brow furrowed, and a surprising, almost bitter laugh left his mouth as he looked down at our hands, "Just like before…."

It was quiet for a while, and we eventually calmed down enough to stop crying. Gaara didn't move, though, and that made me so happy. I watched as his brow furrowed, his eyes remaining down as though he was nervous about meeting my eye, which is something that he's absolutely never been.

I wonder what he's thinking about.

He looks so exhausted, so brokenhearted. Did I do this to him? I didn't know I was in a coma. If I had, I would've fought tooth and nail to wake up sooner.

A relief so strong it felt akin to some sort of drug-induced high washed over me, and I blinked. Is this…him? His eyes jumped to mine, filling with tears again and making me realize he likely didn't get a single emotion from me in those eight months.

"I'm so angry with you."

I stared at him in confusion. Just now, I didn't get that from him. All I could feel was his relief.

"You hit your head so hard. What were you thinking?" How he said it almost seemed like he was talking to himself and didn't expect a response.

Swallowing hard, I forced my words out as I attempted to speak for the first time since having the tubes removed, "...save you…." That's all I could get out.

Those gorgeous eyes locked onto mine in a glare, tears rolling down his face, but he didn't seem to know what to say, and that's alright.

He's safe.

I'm not dead.

Everything's alright now.