Princy_Prince2

I have yet to start preparing for my demise. BUT I'VE DUG GROUNDS IN MY MIND FOR THESE GRAVES. In an effort to prevent anyone from seeing me the way I see myself; I try not to scream while holding my mouth shut while I sob myself to sleep.

I WORK HARD TO GET AWAY FROM THESE BRUTILIZING THOUGHTS, BUT THE MORE I WORK AT IT, THE HARDER IT BECOMES. I wish there was a way for me to get out of this never-ending living hell. A MAZE THAT TWISTS MY GUT, HOWEVER, HAS NO ESCAPE.

I WORK DAILY TO BE OKAY AND TO GET BETTER THAN I WAS THE DAY BEFORE. However, at the end of the day, suicide is all I can think about. 

SUICIDE AND HAPPINESS... 

They just seemed to fit in perfect harmony for some strange reason.

SUICIDAL HAPPINESS

Usually, I have nowhere else to turn and am left in the dark.


As far as I can tell, darkness predominates over light.


Therefore, it makes sense why the sun has chosen not to shine on me today.


They claim that loneliness and misery are best friends.


So I suppose I am the one that causes suffering most of the time.


Watching others laugh on TikTok or YouTube used to make me feel a little better.


But these days, all I ever experience is an emptiness that makes me blind.


I used to be excellent at acting happy,


But right now, it would be impossible to even try.


It's difficult to wake up and resist the urge to return to bed.


My head is constantly replaying suicidal ideas.


All at once, I feel both dead and numb.


It makes sense why my mood is unpredictable most of the time.


We are both frozen in time: the darkness and I.


Nobody can deliver me from my suffering.


I've been pals with the darkness my entire life.


Up until the very end, the darkness was always there for me.


I've lost the ability to smile or be sincerely joyful.


When I cry uncontrollably to the point that I start yelling,


Since it occurs frequently, I no longer even bother to wonder why.


They must be accustomed to me as well, I'm sure.


THE SILENT VOID