SUICIDE WITH A CRIMSON RED STAIN

Why even attempt, then?

I've always wanted to die, though.

Across my flesh,

To paint my skin, I looked for a razor.

My skin is covered in a crimson-red paint that is dripping gently.

With no delay, the sensation of contentment slowly develops.

Guilty thoughts from a disturbed mind,

a wrist covered in unnoticeable scars.

People claim to love and care about me,

However, I am not astonished when they lie.

I just sob silently as I lay on my bed.

Just praying that things won't stay this horrible forever.

Perhaps tomorrow won't be the day we meet.

To let my sorrows out, I cut.

I have control over my life's course.

being able to see it slide through my finger like sand.

It's not so horrible to have a clean cut on the skin.

I have the right to end my own life, after all.

Although it's forbidden, I'm in anguish.

I am entitled to deliver myself from this suffering.

My mind is failing in this battle,

If I jumped over the roof tonight, would you miss me?

I am aware that I will not prevail in this battle.

My canvas is covered in crimson stains,

Would take me straight to the grave.

Forever in despair,

Forever in agony.

My mind and I are giving up this fight.

I'm hoping I won't survive this time.

I apologize, Mom and Dad.

But I bid you both goodbye.

Despite my best efforts,

regardless of the price.

I'm sorry I wasn't the child you expected me to be.

So, if I do not make it far as I should be in life,

Know that there will be a suicide note stashed underneath the bed,

I couldn't go without bidding you farewell.

So, I'm sending you this message to apologize.

However, I surrendered my light to the darkness inside.

Because that's how your little girl just died.