CONFLICTED FEELINGS

As I sat at the dinner table surrounded by my family, my mind drifted off, consumed by the perplexing possibility that Hina could be my daughter from a previous life. The thought had been lingering in my mind for some time now, and tonight, it seemed to take center stage, casting a shadow over the otherwise joyous occasion.

My mom, sister Jenny, Harley, and Jessica chatted and laughed, but the turmoil swirling inside me is unexplainable. I glanced at Hina, whose features bore a striking resemblance to someone I knew, or at least I could feel this weird feeling in my heart. My mind is in total disarray. Her eyes held a familiar glimmer, an inexplicable connection that I couldn't ignore. There is a huge lump in my throat, my heartbeat is fast, and my blood pressure has risen above normal levels. And this swirling in my stomach...

I don't think I have ever felt this way in my life.

The question echoed relentlessly in my mind: What should I do if Hina truly is my daughter? The implications of such a revelation were profound, shattering the boundaries of rationality. Would I embrace this newfound relationship or distance myself from it? How would it impact my present life and my current family?

Lost in my thoughts, I absentmindedly pushed my food around the plate, my appetite waning as the weight of uncertainty pressed upon me. I mean, if I get my memories back and it turns out to be true then what? I mean, I am totally lost here...

As I watched Hina, a mixture of emotions swirled within me. Curiosity battled against fear, and longing fought against skepticism. The prospect of having a daughter, even one from a previous life, ignited a spark of paternal instincts that I couldn't ignore. But I also feared the potential consequences, the upheaval it could bring to everyone's lives. But since everyone knows about the fact and is ok with it, I think everything will be alright. But I can't help but worry. I don't even know why am I worrying...

Maybe I am not worrying for myself but for Hina. What if it turns out she isn't my daughter and she was mistaken? How will it change our lives? It will shatter her world. After everything she has suffered, I don't think she will be able to endure it.

My mom's voice broke through my contemplation, bringing me back to the present moment. "Alex, are you alright?" she asked, concern etched on her face.

I mustered a smile, attempting to mask the internal struggle I was grappling with. "Yeah, Mom, I'm fine. Just lost in thought for a moment."

Her worry eased, and she returned to her conversation, leaving me to wrestle with the weighty decision that loomed before me. Tonight's dinner had become more than just a gathering; it had become a turning point in my life. The road ahead was uncertain, but I knew I had to face it head-on, armed with patience, understanding, and an open heart.

Deep down, I realized that regardless of the truth, family bonds extended beyond bloodlines. And if Hina truly was my daughter, the love and support I felt for her in this life would extend to the next, bridging the gap between our past and present selves. Whatever the case, I think I am ready. Yeah. I know I ain't perfect and careless, but I think I will accept her as my daughter. I don't know why, but deep down I can feel a new feeling I haven't felt before. Yeah, this must be parental instinct.

---

[Hina's POV]

As I sat at the dinner table, my thoughts drifted off. I couldn't help but feel like I was intruding into Dad's peaceful life. I had just told him this morning that he is my father, and his reaction was one of shock and uncertainty.

His mom, sister, Harley, Jessica, and his Grandma had accepted the fact easily but Dad needed time. And I couldn't blame him. The idea was mind-boggling, even to me when I first sensed his power. He looks exactly the same as I remembered him, but instead of a rougher side, he looks soft and simple. But as I watched him push his food around his plate, lost in thought, I couldn't help but feel guilty.

What if my revelation disrupted his life, his family, and everything he held dear? Was I being selfish in seeking out my past, even if it meant potentially disrupting the present?

I glanced around the table, taking in the faces of those around me. They all looked happy and content, and I couldn't bear the thought of causing any strife or upset. I felt like I was on the edge of a precipice, and one wrong move could send everything tumbling down.

"Alex, are you alright?" She asked, concern etched on her face.

Dad smiled, attempting to mask the internal struggle he was grappling with. "Yeah, Mom, I'm fine. Just lost in thought for a moment."

The sound of Dad's mom's voice... My Grandma's voice broke through my thoughts, and I refocused my attention on the present moment. She was asking Dad if he was alright, and I could see the worry etched on her face. I felt a pang of guilt, realizing that my revelation was causing ripples of concern throughout the entire family.

I didn't know what to do or say, so I simply picked at my food, lost in thought. The uncertainty of it all was weighing heavily on me, and I couldn't help but feel like I had opened up a Pandora's box. What if Dad never remembered his past life, or worse, what if he rejected the idea of being my father?

I felt a knot form in my stomach at the thought, and I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. I didn't want to cause him any more stress or worry than I already had. All I could do was wait and hope that things would work out for the best.

As the night wore on, the tension in the air dissipated, and conversation flowed more naturally. But even as laughter filled the air, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that had settled over me. The uncertainty of it all was a weight that I couldn't ignore, and I didn't know how to proceed from here.

But as I watched Dad, a sense of determination settled over me. Whatever the outcome, I would face it head-on, armed with the truth and an open heart. Family bonds extended beyond bloodlines, and if Dad truly was my father, then I would embrace that with everything I had.

After dinner, Dad announced that he needed some fresh air and decided to take a night stroll on the island. I couldn't resist the urge to follow him, my curiosity getting the better of me. As I trailed behind, keeping a safe distance, I watched his figure move through the dimly lit streets.

Eventually, Dad came to a stop outside a lively bar. I hid behind a nearby tree, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him engaged in conversation with a woman much older than him. From my vantage point, I couldn't hear their words, but I could sense something wasn't right.

As I observed them, I noticed a glint of anger in Dad's eyes, despite the smile he wore on his face. It was as if he was trying to hide his true emotions. My curiosity piqued even more, and I wondered who this woman was and why she had provoked such a reaction from my Dad.

I strained my ears, attempting to catch any fragments of their conversation, but the distance between us made it impossible. I could only watch, feeling a mixture of worry and confusion. It was clear that something was bothering him, something he was trying to conceal.

The woman leaned closer and kissed him on his cheek, and Dad's smile grew wider, but it seemed forced, unnatural. I couldn't help but wonder why he was pretending, why he didn't show his true feelings. Did this woman hold some significance in his life? Was she a reminder of his past, or perhaps someone he was trying to forget?

Questions flooded my mind, but I knew that eavesdropping was not the solution. If I wanted answers, I want to ask Dad directly. But the sight of his masked emotions made me hesitate. I didn't want to intrude further into his personal space, especially when he already had so much to process.

As Dad bid farewell to the woman after exchanging their numbers, I quickly retreated from my hiding spot, making my way back to the house before he could notice my presence. Thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to make sense of what I had witnessed. The encounter had left me even more curious about my father's present self and the complexities of his current life.

I decided to give Dad some space, allowing him to sort through his thoughts and emotions in his own time. It was evident that he had his own battles to fight, and I didn't want to add to his burden. But deep down, I couldn't shake the feeling that his encounter at the bar held significance, and I was determined to uncover the truth, for both our sakes.

With a heavy heart, I retreated to my room, pondering the complexities of family and the layers of hidden stories that lie beneath the surface. The journey to discover my past had become intertwined with uncovering the depths of Dad's own past. Little did I know that this path would lead us both to unexpected revelations and the forging of an unbreakable bond.

----------------

𝕊𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕃𝕚𝕟𝕜: 𝕨𝕨𝕨.𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕣 𝕖𝕠𝕟.𝕔𝕠𝕞/𝕏𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕓𝕦𝕣𝕏𝕔

[+𝟙𝟟 𝔸𝔻𝕍𝔸ℕℂ𝔼 ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ𝕊]

This month another mass release will start tomorrow on Pat reon. I will finish the vol-3 by this month and move on to vol-4. Public release will be a bit slower than usual.