How Can You Become More Compassionate Towards Yourself

"Being human is not about being any one particular way; it is about being as life creates you—with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities."

- Kristin Neff

Be ok with being imperfect—Because of that you can see and test yourself what ability you have. You know what and how limited the power you have. And knowing where you have the most interest in being you.You see your ability in yourself and you see the right thing for you. Because this is where you can test your personality and this is also where you will recognize your potential and your intelligence as you are. Of course in this situation, you see what skills you have.

Failure is one of the greatest hindrances to success; rightfully, no one wants to fail. However, failure is what is takes to achieve success. It is part of the journey. To develop mental toughness, accept the fact. That you shall fail: that you are imperfect. Be ok with this embrace it wholly.

On the other hand, the mistake is the reason why you had the courage, especially in the things you used to think about because you can't. Especially the trials you went through and succeeded. And because of the mistake you learned to accept The things that you think are Right but you still try to do them.

Perhaps the mistake is the reason why we become strong to face the trials of life. Because of the trials that go through our lives we learn to give and receive more and more if we sometimes lose or sometimes give each other thanks for the reasons Just like, When you take an exam and even though you study it too much and you don't get it, the result you think is different is what comes out. The result was unexpected. Only here you can test yourself. You can think and understand the reasons why you didn't do what you wanted.

For me, as a Psychology student and many mistakes that have also gone through but did not give up. This is the reason for the trials I have faced and will face. Because the test that God gave me made me strong and encouraged every time I face every challenge of Life.

For me, there are four (4) types of tests that are the most painful I have experienced, but this is the reason why I continue:

• First, you often think about the mistakes you have made. Because you think this is the end — No, this is the beginning. Because, in a mistake you have things to discover, learn and can pick up things.

For example:

You have a project in your subject Physical Education (PE) regarding dances.

This dance You think you can't, but you have to learn it to present to your class. That's why you study hard even though there are many mistakes and many times just to get the right step of it done with full skill.

So, in other words, you learned from mistakes. you worked hard and learned what you wanted plus you exercised your body.

I said, "From your simple mistake, we can learn a good lesson here. Just do it with full skill."

• Secondly— You feel weak to face many people because you are not good at oral communication or lack the courage to face it.

Okay, Back to the year 2018, me personally. I have a bit of a stutter. I used to be shy and didn't have? the strength to face people, even acquaintances. Especially in school reporting. Sometimes the chin is tight when speaking because of too much shyness, which may be the wrong thing to say.

But, because of this, stuttering or stuttering did not become an obstacle or reason for speaking. And We will not be happy in any environment Your entrance.

If you train yourself in things that are always silent You will choose. You will not be particularly happy and you have a passion for things that people often face.

For Example:

You dream of becoming a Broadcaster but you are shy. You improve! Always learn to communicate with others. There's nothing wrong with trying something different. Do and train yourself in these.

I as a dreamer become a Law Professor, Legal Council, and Legislator and become an advocate, Psychometrician, and become one day. Stuttering is not an obstacle. I used to be shy but now, I speak in front of many people and I teach the gospel of God to some young people who preach the word of God. Because I learned how to be a good communicator. But even I'm not good. Go!

As our saying goes, "When you want there is a way, When you don't there are many reasons."

Do it, always practice What is needed. You have nothing to lose if you try. That's for you too. You deserve to continue the dreams you want to reach and follow.

I'm just now congratulating you,

• Thirdly, socialize with people who want to be close to you. Especially with your classmates every time the new school year comes. Especially now we have a pandemic to deal with. Students often meet virtually. Unlike before, they are together every day and if it's a private school, they attend is together while still paying school tuition.

There are often many young people What we call a "Circle of friends" is important in our lives if we don't have it. I believe that even if you don't have many friends, even if you have one or two friends, that's fine. The important thing is that you are true to each other.

This is also one of the tests that you or we can face.

Often even if you say that you are often together and talk to each other, there is still something that you do not understand. Often here there is a fight, quarreling and defamation or disagreement over something else, especially if it is something related to the project. Output and more on the thesis.

There are often arguments and misunderstandings, because this is the test of a circle of friends. Because it tests your identity and relationship as friends. Having a friend is like having a sibling. There are often quarrels and quarrels. But on they get along again and happily joke around. Do not harbor anger and it is only temporary.

Because "True friends help each other and sympathize not only in times of crisis."

• And Our final test is the family and the financial daily needs — It's hard as in, we are five siblings. I'm a member of our Five. My older brother is going to college in BS Mechanical Engineering. But he will shift after the 2nd year of the course because he thinks that if we go to college one after the other, we might be in financial trouble. Because Grade 12 or senior high would meet then, so he forced to shift course in Instrumentation. But after a while he stopped and he couldn't do it. Besides financial, his intellect couldn't do it.

My older brother is smart compared to me. I always look up to him especially when grades are given in school. He is often among the top performing students until college. I never got into that. but I'm satisfied with just passing grades and I'm happy. In other words, He us stop for studying Until now. I'm the only one who got into college. My older brother should have graduated from college if such a situation did not happen. I know his lofty dreams will be reached. But one reason is financial. I'm not even smart. But my dreams are too high and I can't even dream of the dean's Lister.

But as others say, "Dreaming is free. Just keep going and be accompanied by hard work, determination and of course prayer. You don't need a lot of talent but to appreciate and love what you do for your dreams. As long as you always be humble and generous to others. Being an honor student is a bonus.

I said, when you fall, get up. Because those things are only temporary. Everything has a limit and a destination. Just accompany it with hard work, perseverance, determination and of course Prayer is never lost. That's where you get courage and your spiritual food every day.

Then before, Mom and Dad often fought. I don't know what it's for. But that often happened when I was just a senior in high school. I used to plan to stop my studies and to avoid arguments. And I'm also ashamed. Sometimes I'm with myself plus I'm ready to think about it until I'm stressed. Sometimes my Dad's income from traveling and door or window contracts is not enough. Mom is just at home. So, the income is not that big, but just enough for my siblings and our whole family, especially for daily needs and expenses. Just to add, I also experienced being given help or extra money. Our pastor's wife also gave me a four thousand peso, Exactly for down payment, this is when I will enroll in college. Imagine five of us brothers and sisters who were admitted before plus only one who is looking for life. Two of us are in a private school. Because I am a Senior High student before which is a private school. My brother is also in a Private school too. Because he used to be in college. Plus, two high schools and one elementary school entered. So, with just the four of us, the fare is less than one thousand pesos. Plus there are fifty pesos in elementary school. But because of God, my parents' fights have stopped and, are no longer frequent. And even being a Barangay tanod or Barangay police job of my Papa, I was not ashamed of it and I was always proud of it. Because of this, I got to college. Hardship was not an obstacle, as long as there was perseverance.

"Let's learn to be grateful." Because in the trials we face, we learn to fight and overcome every challenge in life.

Because we are still very blessed. Even if we never reached or got what we wanted, God never failed us to overcome the trials of life.

I always remind everyone who reads my Story:

Let us always be humble at all times. Let's be honest in our duty and learn to be thankful for the things we have, especially at each dinner table. Let's always pray for the people around us who believe that we can achieve our every dream in life. And to the people who continue to believe in what we do and the ability we have. No one but our parents and our loved ones. Of course, God is there. God believes in our ability.

It is said in the Bible, " God is the executor and we are the ones who do his commands." And He will never let us down in His beautiful and faithful Plan for us.

"Don't give up until you reach your Dream no matter what. God is with you and He will never leave you alone."

Let's just continue with our good intentions. The day will come when we will reap what we have sown and worked hard for.

When people experience a setback at work—whether it's a bad sales quarter, being overlooked for a promotion, or an interpersonal conflict with a colleague—it's common to respond in one of two ways. Either we become defensive and blame others, or we berate ourselves. Unfortunately, neither response is especially helpful. Shirking responsibility by getting defensive may alleviate the sting of failure, but it comes at the expense of learning. Self-flagellation, on the other hand, may feel warranted in the moment, but it can lead to an inaccurately gloomy assessment of one's potential, which undermines personal development.

What if instead we were to treat ourselves as we would a friend in a similar situation? More likely than not, we'd be kind, understanding, and encouraging. Directing that type of response internally, toward ourselves, is known as self-compassion, and it's been the focus of a good deal of research in recent years. Psychologists are discovering that self-compassion is a useful tool for enhancing performance in a variety of settings, from healthy aging to athletics. I and other researchers have begun focusing on how self-compassion also enhances professional growth.

For non academics, self-compassion is a less familiar concept than self-esteem or self-confidence. Although it's true that people who engage in self-compassion tend to have higher self-esteem, the two concepts are distinct. Self-esteem tends to involve evaluating oneself in comparison with others. Self-compassion, on the other hand, doesn't involve judging the self or others. Instead, it creates a sense of self-worth because it leads people to genuinely care about their own well-being and recovery after a setback.

People with high levels of self-compassion demonstrate three behaviors: First, they are kind rather than judgmental about their own failures and mistakes; second, they recognize that failures are a shared human experience; and third, they take a balanced approach to negative emotions when they stumble or fall short—they allow themselves to feel bad, but they don't let negative emotions take over.

A Growth Mindset

Most organizations and people want to improve—and self-compassion is crucial for that. We tend to associate personal growth with determination, persistence, and hard work, but the process often starts with reflection. One of the key requirements for self-improvement is having a realistic assessment of where we stand—of our strengths and our limitations. Convincing ourselves that we are better than we are leads to complacency, and thinking we're worse than we are leads to defeatism. When people treat themselves with compassion, they are better able to arrive at realistic self-appraisals, which is the foundation for improvement. They are also more motivated to work on their weaknesses rather than think "What's the point?" and to summon the grit required to enhance skills and change bad habits