Dust To Dust

"Am I wrong?"

The look in Keary's eyes was agonised. The dark-haired boy was used to living alone, used to roaming around the house half-dressed, like he was now, but he had never felt so laid bare as he did in this moment. A part of him balked at having his true feelings recognised and called out so plainly, but deep within him, his heart soared and strained to be known, for this angel in front of him to understand him, enfold him, accept him… forgive him. Not quite aware of what he was doing, he reached out to touch the beautiful face that was so close to his.

"No," he said, voice hushed. "No, you're not."

A tingle ran through Cardin as he felt the other boy's warm palm on his cheek. With a small sigh, he met Keary's hand with his own, holding it against his face before pressing his lips to it.

Stroking the fair cheek with his thumb, Keary marvelled at the angel's perfection. Mesmerised, he felt himself being drawn in, unable to recall why he would ever want to repel this being from his life, when he held all Keary had ever longed for.

Ever so softly, he brushed his lips over Cardin's, and watched the cerulean eyes flutter shut. In awe, he planted slow, featherlight kisses all over the fair face, under his chin, along his jaw, and heard a small gasp as the tip of his nose grazed against the milky-white neck.

Eyes still closed, Cardin gave a breathless laugh. "Stop teasing," he murmured.

"Can I…" Even as he began the question, Keary's mind darted to the last time he had tasted Cardin, and the force he had used with the intention to make his message clear. He flinched. He didn't deserve this, any of this. Not after all he had done.

But Cardin, sensing him withdraw, reached up to comb his fingers into the dark hair. "Don't ask," he whispered. "Don't think. Just kiss me."

Still, Keary held back. "Last chance to back out," he breathed. "Of all of this. You could have a normal life, without any of this. You can still–"

He was abruptly silenced by Cardin's mouth over his, and felt his misgivings disintegrate as he tasted his own hunger reflected in the boy's kiss. A moan broke in his throat and he dove in, so deep and for so long that they were both panting when they finally pulled apart.

"Don't do something like that," he said hoarsely, his forehead pressing against Cardin's, "and expect me to be able to let you go."

"That's kind of the point," Cardin returned breathlessly. "I don't want you to let me go. I want to stay. With you." He tossed the towel aside and climbed into Keary's lap, straddling him. "Don't let me go, Kear. Don't ever let me go."

And then words were lost in the heat of their mouths meeting, fingers weaving into hair, arms slipping around shoulders and waists and backs to pull each other closer, closer, until Cardin was quivering with need.

He knew that the other boy's wounds must be hurting him, but he couldn't help but want him desperately. The warm hands that had slipped under his shirt to explore his torso were not helping, igniting streams of burning desire that pooled in his gut. He could feel Keary's arousal pressing hard between his thighs, and shifted instinctively against it, begging with his body for more.

Keary inhaled sharply at the motion, and in the next moment his hands were sliding down Cardin's slender legs, guiding them around Keary's waist, even as his tongue pushed deeper into the alluring cavern that was Cardin's mouth. Tucking his own feet under them, the dark-haired boy leaned in, then rose in a fluid motion, arms strong around Cardin, holding him close. The smaller boy clung to him, dizzy with anticipation but unwilling to break their kiss, even as Keary walked them slowly toward the bed.

Lowering Cardin down gently, Keary drew back to trail kisses down the other boy's neck, drinking in the boy's naturally sweet scent. Then, yearning to taste more of the fair skin, he tugged Cardin's shirt up to his chest, and let his lips explore the slim figure. As the blonde tensed under his touch, Keary wondered why he hadn't before noticed how lean the boy's muscles were, the body of a discreet but seasoned fighter. He looked up in wonder at the face flushed with desire, framed in a cascade of golden waves.

Was this real? Was this really happening? Was he going to rudely awaken again to a cold, empty house, to find that the angel had abandoned him to fall back into the abyss?

If this is a dream, please let me stay inside it, just for a little longer.

Cardin stifled a whimper with the back of his hand as Keary's mouth travelled south, his long fingers hooking into the waist of Cardin's trousers and drawing them down slowly, slowly, ever so slowly. The blonde couldn't help but shiver as, inch by inch, he was exposed under Keary's darkening silver gaze, which now looked up at him as the garment fell noiselessly to the ground.

"So beautiful." The low voice, carried on a breath, was filled with something close to veneration. "The most beautiful being I've ever seen."

Embarrassed, Cardin turned away blushing, only to gasp suddenly as he felt Keary take him into his mouth. In an instant, all sense of shame was expelled from his thoughts, which honed in on the sensation of the wet heat that engulfed him.

Keary watched through narrowed eyes as the blonde boy twisted and arched, his slender white hips raising upward in offering to him. He could still clearly recall the night he had caught Cardin touching himself in the shower, could still remember the desire in the sapphire eyes, the exquisite expression on his face as Keary had worshipped his body, the same expression Cardin now wore as he clutched at the bedsheets.

"Kea… Keary…!"

When had the sound of his own name become so intoxicating? Keary forced back a thrill as he let his hands travel back up Cardin's body, casually stroking the boy's pebbled nipples. He was rewarded with the sound of a choked groan, and smirked inwardly as he lowered his head to take him in deeper, revelling in Cardin's moans as he savoured the taste of him.

But Cardin wasn't satisfied. "In– hngh– side…"

"Hmm?"

"Ah…! Inside! Please… I want… mmng!"

This boy is going to be the death of me. Without breaking his rhythm, Keary reached up to touch the tips of his fingers to Cardin's luscious lips. The boy was trembling, but grasped his hand, lapping at his fingers with his tongue before covering them with his mouth with a soft moan. Eyes closed, he didn't see the pupils in the silver eyes contract, then bloom ebony, but thought he heard a low, deep growl. When Keary pulled his hand away, Cardin began to whine in protest, but was stopped short when he felt one of those long, graceful fingers, now slick with saliva, start to press into him.

"Oh– Ah…! Ahhh!!"

Keary could barely hear the boy's cries over the heartbeat pounding in his ears. Cardin's insides pressed around his finger, hot and tight, and as the golden-haired boy writhed under his touch, Keary couldn't help but imagine how it would feel to have another part of himself buried inside… But he was being greedy. It was enough for him that he could give pleasure to the being in his arms.

As he slowly began to thrust into Cardin with first one long finger, and then two, the fabric under Cardin's hands threatened to rip. All of a sudden, they found relief; Keary, guided by the sound of the blonde's moans, had found a spot, and a crook of his fingers made the smaller boy's limbs go weak. Under the dual stimulation from Keary's mouth and hands, Cardin felt his pleasure build and build, closer and closer… But this still wasn't quite what he wanted.

"Keary… Keary!" he gasped. "Keary, s-stop! Stop…!" When the other boy ignored him, Cardin desperately rallied the shreds of his strength and self-control. With immense effort, he grabbed a fistful of dark hair, pulling Keary off himself even as he wrenched his hips back and away. "Wait!"

They froze there for a long moment, Cardin pushing against Keary's broad chest as they both struggled to catch their breath. After a few seconds, Keary broke the silence.

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely.

"What?" Cardin's head snapped up in surprise. "Why are you apologising?"

"I…" Silver crept around the dark lust in Keary's eyes as they searched the blue ones anxiously. "I misunderstood what you wanted. I'm sorry."

Bewildered, Cardin shook his head as he leaned forward and gently took Keary's face in his hands. "You didn't misunderstand. I just…" He turned shy, blushing as he mumbled, "... didn't want to be the only one– I wanted you to…" He trailed off, but reached out to cup the stiff bulge between Keary's legs, eliciting a sharp hiss of surprise from the other boy. Encouraged, he slid his palm against it, drawing a shaky groan.

"Don't… tease…" Keary rasped. "Cardin, don't–"

"I'm not teasing." Gaining confidence from the helplessness in Keary's voice, Cardin pulled back just enough to take the hem of his shirt in his fingers and draw it over his head in a slow, smooth movement, removing the last piece of fabric defence that shielded his nakedness. Forcing himself not to shiver, he whispered, "I want you."