Fire & Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

Mishti woke up the morning she was to fly home with a big smile on her face and a warm feeling in her chest. Her mother's birthday was in three days and today she was going back to Mumbai to spend time with her family the best thing was that both Ronobir and Shruti were accompanying her. The thought of going home with Ronobir excited her, as she made a list of all the things she wanted to show and share with him.

She stretched her arms above her head in an indolent yawn and sank a little bit further into the enormous, luxurious bed, the high-count Egyptian cotton sheets felt marvelous against her skin. The contented smile on her face deepened as her thoughts went to her husband; Ronobir had been so different with her lately. Ever since the night of his party when he had agreed to take her home for her mom's birthday, his whole demeanor towards her had changed, the cold mask had almost disappeared. He still had his infuriating moments when she felt like strangling him, but they were few and far between he had been incredibly sweet to her lately. There had been an imperceptible shift in their relationship and more often than not she caught him staring at her tenderly almost lovingly.

Sometimes this momentous change worried her; an insidious part of her brain kept warning her that she was becoming addicted to him, it kept recriminating and accusing her of acting like an overeager puppy scurrying around her master's legs, begging to be stroked behind the ears. It constantly kept making her question herself; after everything that he had done to her how could she still long for his affection? Was she experiencing some weird case of Stockholm syndrome? Had she lost her marbles? Mishti closed her eyes and threw the covers off her body wanting to quiet the disturbing thoughts that her overactive brain kept churning around incessantly.

Since her semester was officially over and she had nothing left to do, she had asked Mrs. Sudha to teach her how to make chocolate fudge cake, which happened to be Ronobir's favorite. Of course, she tried to fool herself into believing that it wasn't the sole reason behind her recent endeavor and that she simply wanted to occupy her time but another more honest part of her mocked her with the truth.

She hopped into the shower and bathed quickly, it was a chilly morning so she put on light blue thermals and a pair of jeans before heading to the kitchen where Sudha ji was working. With great patience, the elder woman explained the procedure to her and they started working on their project together.

Minutes trickled by and Mishti was enjoying working next to the other woman tremendously, she was telling her stories about Ronobir and Rishabh when they were little, as well as stories about her own life and her daughter. During a particular anecdote, there was something that caught Mishti's attention and she debated with herself on whether it was appropriate for her to ask a member of the staff, no matter how close, about Ronobir's family matters, but in the ending decided to follow her instincts.

She was swirling the spoon around the chocolate ganache as Mrs. Sudha worked with the cake leveler, "How was Udayveer Chatterjee, Sudha ji?" Mishti asked in the most indifferent tone she could manage.

The older woman stopped what she was doing momentarily, startled by the question that was posed to her, "What do you mean?"

"How was he as a father?" Mishti asked and Mrs. Sudha looked at her briefly, sighing deeply before returning to her task of leveling the cake.

"He was a fair boss and incredibly generous, I have no complaints with him in that department but as a father...?" Sudha dropped the leveler and sat on one of the high tables in front of the bar stool. "I remember when Ronobir baba was a kid, from the minute his dear mother brought him into the house he smiled and as he grew he became even more enchanting," she reminisced.

"I can imagine!" Mishti smiled picturing how adorable her husband must have been as a toddler.

"He was so bright and cheerful. Always with a smile on his lips and those beautiful brown eyes shining so vividly, he was always running around the house, the entire staff was charmed by that boy." The old lady smiled nostalgically as her eyes seemed to be focused on some point in the distance, lost in the remembrance of old times, "...and then Mr. Udayveer decided it was time for his son to learn how to be a man. Baba was around five or six when things started to change."

"Change how?" Mishti dropped the spoon and looked intently at the older woman all pretense of being only casually interested in conversation gone.

"There were no more smiles or shining brown eyes anymore. He became quiet and started to withdraw from everything. Mr. Chatterjee took him to places where no child should be, I don't even want to imagine all the violence baba saw in those days." Sudha ji's eyes were sad as she looked down and wiped a stray tear that escaped her eye. "Around that time was when Rishabh baba was born and Miss Mamta, bless her heart put all of her energy into that baby, protecting him the way she couldn't do her eldest."

"Bappa" Mishti whispered horrified as she pictured the dreadful childhood Ronobir had endured. While she had grown up being the princess of her house, surrounded by love and being spoiled by everyone he was being taught about violence and abandoned by the one person who should have protected him.

"I don't think Miss Mamta will ever forgive herself for it," Sudha ji said shaking her head despondently. "I thought that Ronobir baba was going to resent Rishabh's birth but it was exactly the opposite, he found refuge in that baby and as time went on he became his protector."

"What do you mean?"

Sudha ji smiled as she stared at her, "Rishabh baba was always a mischievous boy, a little devil. Playing pranks here and there, his antics weren't always approved by Mr. Chatterjee," she sighed. "But Ronobir baba was always there to save the day for his brother, he took the blame and punishment for many of those tricks."

A half smile, tinged with sorrow, appeared on Mishti's face, "That's why they're so close now."

Sudha ji nodded, "Mr. Udayveer raised Ronobir baba but I always say it was Ronobir baba who raised Rishabh baba. Those two are thick as thieves and I'm glad, that way they'll always have each other's backs."

"I'm glad too," Mishti said with a sigh before turning her attention back to the task at hand.

For the rest of the morning, Mishti couldn't help her thoughts from straying to a younger Ronobir and how different their lives had been. In a way she couldn't blame him for being so closed off as an adult, after all, that was what he had been instructed to do since a very young age, but it still didn't excuse him for the deplorable way he had treated her.

Nonetheless, it was a sensitive subject, and like Shruti had once stated not everything was black and white, especially not Ronobir's life and personality which were a huge shade of gray. He was not a good man but how could you blame him if everything he was today, was exactly what he had been taught and groomed to be at a very early age? Besides his brother and maybe Shruti, no one ever showed him love or regarded him as a priority.

Mishti wondered briefly if a shy little boy was hiding inside Ronobir even now, a little boy wanting nothing more than for someone to love him but not knowing how to act or how to ask for it. She felt sorry for him; there was always indescribable loneliness lingering in his expression and now as she was discovering the various pieces of a puzzle that constituted her husband, she felt like she was closer to deciphering the mystery that was Ronobir Chatterjee and his inability to let someone in.

In the afternoon when Mishti was in the room that was now her workshop, sketching out some designs and playing around with fabrics idly, Shruti walked in sporting the biggest of smiles Mishti had ever seen. "Are you excited to go home today?"

Mishti stared at her from where she was sitting on the floor and matched her grin, "I can't wait. I miss mom a lot and Ansh bhaiya too."

Shruti sat next to Mishti, moving some pieces of fabric lying around to make space for herself. "Not Pari?" she mocked. Mishti and Shruti had discussed her acrimonious relationship with Pari in-depth, and she knew how much Mishti disliked and distrusted her sibling, they both agreed that Pari might be the worst sister to ever walk the earth.

"Oh I couldn't care less about her," she muttered. Mishti was a bit worried about seeing her sister and Veer again, she had no idea how she was supposed to act around them. She now knew that whatever she thought she had felt for her brother's friend was simply a silly infatuation that she had romanticized and blown out of proportion in her naïve mind, but that still didn't stop her from feeling betrayed and hurt by Pari's callous behavior.

Sensing that her friend's mood was changing, the perceptive bride decided to lighten things up, "I was thinking, what if you make the dresses for my bridesmaids."

Mishti's head snapped towards Shruti as her eyes widened like saucers, "What?"

Shruti nodded enthusiastically, "Yes, think about it. I love the things you make Mishti," she said gesturing towards the dress she was currently wearing. Mishti had finished that piece as a college project a couple of days ago and had gifted it to her, and apparently, she had loved it. "I know you can do a great job and it would be a great way to showcase your talent and show everyone your work."

Mishti thought about it for a little while, "I don't know Shruti, this is your wedding I'm sure you want everything to be perfect." She didn't want Shruti to feel obligated to do this for her; after all, it was the most important day of her life.

"Everything will be perfect Mishti," she said in a tone that left nothing else to discuss. "And if I didn't think you could do a perfect job, I wouldn't be asking you," she reasoned with her. "I believe you can do this. We're still months away and I have only three bridesmaids- Maira, Avantika and if you accept you will be the third."

If Mishti's eyes could widen anymore they would, "What?!" she squealed excitedly. "Are you serious?"

Shruti's eyes were tender as they looked at her, "Look I don't know if you've noticed but it's hard to make true friends in this lifestyle plus I'm not an easy person to like."

"Shruti that's not true..."

"It is Mishti, I know me," she joked. "But in these past few months, I've come to know you and appreciate you, Mishti, we're going to be sisters-in-law in a few months and I would like for you to be next to me on my special day!"

Even before she had finished talking, Mishti threw her arms around her and hugged her so tightly she feared she was going to break her. Shruti had been an immense source of comfort to her during the past few months; she had helped her no end during the difficult transition, listened to her problems, and advised her honestly, she now ranked on top in her list of best friends right alongside Ananya. Bappa knows Mishti and Pari never got along so she was looking forward to having a sister like Shruti.

"Of course, I will be your bridesmaid, it will be my honor and pleasure," Mishti said as she released her friend. "And I will make the most gorgeous dresses ever."

"Yay!" Shruti threw her hands in the air in celebration, "We need to start working on the designs right now; I'm thinking some kind of violet color or maybe pale pink. What do you think fits a June wedding better?"

"I like violet, I think we can do something beautiful with it or maybe lilac," Mishti stretched herself on the floor and took out her sketch pad. "So what were you thinking?" she was about to start sketching an initial design when the door opened and her husband appeared at the threshold.

"Hold on to that thought Coco Chanel," he told her and she couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm sure we'll have more than enough time for this later, you can prattle about it on the plane but right now I need to speak with Mishti."

Shruti huffed, "You are the worst brother-in-law ever," she muttered as she stood up.

"Oh yeah, who's going to get Darshan Raval to play on your wedding?" he told her with a raised eyebrow and Mishti gaped at him open-mouthed.

"I will believe it when I see it!" Shruti said as she walked past him disdainfully and turned to say goodbye to Mishti, "I'll see you in a bit, I'll finish packing in the meanwhile."

Ronobir stood up by the door, his hand on his pants pockets and a flirty smile on his face. Mishti watched him from her spot on the floor and couldn't stop the tremors that ran through her body at the sight of him and the way he was looking at her; it was like an electric current went from him to her every time they were near. And all she wanted was to feel his body against hers and his hands all over her, taking her to heights of unbelievable pleasure.

"What's on your mind baby doll?" he walked closer to her, a cheeky smile on his face as he extended his hand and she took it, helping her to stand up. He knew the effect he had on her and loved to tease her with it.

"Nothing," she shrugged as a half-smile played on her lips. He drew her into his arms, her hands moving instantly to his waist gripping his shirt there. He nuzzled his nose with hers and Mishti smiled at the contact. He had been doing a lot of that lately, it was like he couldn't stop himself from touching her every chance he got, and she was ashamed to admit she was becoming addicted to his touch.

"I won't be going to Mumbai," he whispered and she snapped back to reality, she would have stepped away from him if it wasn't for him holding her close to his body.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, trying to hide her disappointment.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "It's just some business I have to take care of but I will be there in a couple of days maybe."

"Ronobir..." she trailed off. She didn't know why but the idea of being apart from him was too hard to contemplate, especially after what had happened the last time he went to take care of business.

"Is it something to do with the Kamalis?"

He shook his head, "No darling, it doesn't." He kissed her forehead as his hands moved to her hips to pull her even closer.

She gave him a questioning look and he sighed before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "Someone wants something I have but I don't want to give up, they think they can put pressure on me and I'm going to show them I'm not someone you can mess with."

"How dangerous is this?" she asked as worried lines appeared on her face as she looked into his brown eyes; he smiled slightly and placed a kiss on her nose.

"No danger at all darling, I'll be fine. And so will you, Shruti and Sikander will travel with you, you couldn't be in better hands."

After everything that went down with the Kamalis, Ronobir had been extra careful with her security but since she was going to her father's house, a man who was almost as dangerous as him, he wasn't too worried plus Sikander was the best out there if someone could keep his wife safe it was him.

Suddenly his eyes lost the warmth and became hard as he looked at her, "I want you to behave Mishti." His hand moved to her chin and held her face tightly forcing her to stare at him, "I will have eyes everywhere," he barked out jealously.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked in indignation, a defiant look crossing her face and sending a thrill down Ronobir's back. How her fire excited and aroused him, he lusted for her, and even now as she looked at him in anger all he wanted to do was throw her on the ground and burn in that passion taking her along with him. She was made for him and no one dared to touch her except him.

"You know what it means!" he bit out fiercely, his face moving closer until she could feel his hot breath on her face. "If I find out that something happened with you and that little asshole I will cut him down, you understand. I made you a promise a while back Mishti and I plan to fulfill it." A haze was coming over him as he looked at her quivering lips, his pants were beginning to bulge with his uncontrollable arousal and he was nearly salivating at the mouth looking at her.

"You are such a caveman, Ronobir," she clenched her jaw tightly as she broke free from his hold. "You know very well I'm not a cheater and for better or for worse I am married to you."

"For better or for worse?" he asked darkly as he drew her even closer to him, she could feel every ridge of his hard-as-rock body against her and it send a shiver down her spine, a heat starting to build steadily and wetness pooled between her legs. The electricity that his touch generated caused her nerves to buzz with excitement. "You are mine" he whispered in her ear his tongue slowly licking her earlobe as he blew into her ear, grinding his arousal against her, driving her temperature even higher, and she closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. "Mine, you are all mine babydoll"

The rational part of her knew she should smack him and tell him to stop objectifying her but the part of her that loved and desired the monster inside him relished in his ownership of her, in knowing she could give herself completely to him and he would take care of her. She was his and there was no denying it, not anymore, but that didn't mean she would stop fighting him because that only made the game more exciting. "You are a pig!" she muttered, more turned on than she liked, she wanted to feel his lips on her desperately but although he stayed tantalizing close he didn't kiss her.

He chuckled, "I believe I am and I think you like it." He bit her earlobe and she moaned wantonly at the action. "It's time you finish packing darling," he said as he stepped away from her with a teasing smirk knowing that he had driven her to a point where she was crazy with desire. A look of disbelief and anger flashed across her face as she realized that he was going to leave her unsatisfied.

"Let's go," he took her hand and led her out of her workshop.

Her body still tingled with his touch and the sound of his voice, her breasts were heavy and aching and the burning spot between her legs was pulsing with need yet he didn't do anything to relieve her from that suffering.

"This is so you'll think of me when I'm away," was all he told her before kissing her softly and leaving her alone in their room so she could finish packing her things.

After he walked out Mishti locked the door and undressed, she lay on the bed and took her hand between her legs, his image in her head as she touched and caressed herself to an orgasm but it wasn't enough, she needed him and somehow she knew that the bastard was outside the door listening, confirming what they already knew. No one was going to give her what he did, her body came alive under his touch and Mishti knew that nothing compared to him. She hoped that she had left him in a similar predicament and he was going through the same pain of unfulfilled arousal.

A couple of hours later as Mishti landed in her hometown, excitement bubbled inside her at the thought of seeing her family again. Even Shruti told her she looked like a Chihuahua heading for a stroll around its favorite park.

The minute Mishti stepped foot into her old house, a feeling of comfort and security surrounded her. It wasn't that her time in New York was bad, she enjoyed being there and now with Ronobir changing, she found herself missing homeless and less every day. But being here she couldn't help the old feelings resurfacing, after all, she had been yanked out of this place without being ready to let go.

Ansh bhaiya and her mother were the first to greet them; the oldest Khanna questioned her about everything while her mother remained on the side, a demure smile on her face. Looking at her, Mishti could see how much like her mother she was, always on the sidelines doing exactly what she was told to do, with simple pretty dolls to play with. Mishti felt an unusual resentment towards her father build up as she thought of how blind he had kept her, her entire life, and then ousted her so unceremoniously into a different world.

After her brother's interrogation ended, Mishti was instructed to go to her father's office while her mother showed Shruti and Sikander their bedrooms. Mishti felt unpleasant nerves creeping up on her as she walked closer to the shut door of her father's office, the place felt so familiar yet at the same time completely alien.

When the door opened she found him sitting behind his desk, an image she had seen millions of times over the years. Mishti used to find comfort in this room, sitting by her father's feet, beaming when he smiled at her and called her his princess. Now she felt like a stranger walking into a place where she shouldn't be and even when he hugged her and told her how much he had missed her she couldn't muster the will to beam at him again.

They talked for a couple of minutes, and he asked her about her life in New York and how Ronobir was treating her. Things seemed constricted between them, they were no longer as fluid as they used to be, Mishti used to think that she had a better relationship with her father than Pari ever did, but now she wondered if it was perhaps because her sister was more like him than she could ever be.

After an exhausting small talk with her father, Mishti headed upstairs and popped briefly into Shruti's room, to ask her how she was settling in. She reassured her she was fine and that she would meet her in a couple of hours when they would be having dinner downstairs.

Friday family dinners at the Khanna household were always a tradition and it was something that hadn't changed even if she wasn't there anymore.

Mishti couldn't help the sense of nostalgia and sadness that washed over her as she plopped down on her old bed, it might not be as soft and comfy as Ronobir's was but it was familiar and it smelled like the happy days of her childhood.

She snuggled into the pillows and breathed in the homely scent, it was strange and kind of sad to see how everyone had moved on without her, not that she expected things to remain frozen in her absence but it was somehow troubling to realize that the only thing different now was herself.

After a dreamless nap, Mishti took a much-needed shower and dressed in a light pink cotton dress she had made in New York, Ronobir had loved it and her cheeks had tinted pink when he had complimented her on it.

She stepped outside her room and found the last person she ever expected, waiting for her.

"Hello," Veer said with a tentative smile as his eyes traveled over the length of her body.

"Hi," Mishti answered, feeling uncomfortable in some way. She was seeing Veer, like many other things since she arrived, in a new light. No longer like the child with a crush on her big brother's friend but like a woman who had gotten her heart broken by the said friend.

"You look nice," he said eyeing her dress.

Mishti smiled slighted and moved so she could start walking towards the stairs, "Thank you"

His hand on her elbow stopped her and made her lift her face to stare into his eyes, "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Are you..."

Mishti sighed as she moved away from his touch, "I don't think you and I should be talking," her mind going briefly to Ronobir's words earlier that day.

"Why not? Because of Pari, I can assure you..."

"Don't assure me of anything Veer," Mishti bit out, anger suddenly clawing at her insides.

He looked taken aback by her words, "I'm sorry!"

Mishti laughed scornfully, her eyes icing over as she stared at him, "You know it's not like you didn't deserve to be with someone else because you were a free man but her? Days after you kissed me? You should have known how that was going to hurt me," she couldn't deny that the betrayal had cut her deeply.

He shook his head exasperated, his cool and composed mask slipping briefly, "What did you want me to do Mishti? You were marrying someone else. And I had to watch him staring at you as if you were a prize he had won, the whole night"

She couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth, as if somehow everything that had happened had been her fault. "And of course, the next best thing that occurred to you at the moment was to sleep with my sister."

He had the decency to look ashamed, "I'm sorry!"

"Don't be!"

"Is he treating you right?"

"Yes, he is," 'most of the time she wanted to add but she bit her tongue in time to stop the words from coming out. "And I think this is none of your business."

His eyes lost the sorry look and they became hard again, "A couple of weeks and he already has you under his spell?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He leaned down towards her, his body hovering over hers, "I know his reputation Mishti, he's a beast. He will eat you up so don't be naïve enough to fall for his charms."

"You really should mind your own business, Veer!"

"He's a monster," he spat out.

"Yeah, unlike all of you who are nothing but angels."

He laughed scathingly, "So, he gives you a good fuck and now he's next to Go..."

He didn't even finish his sentence before Mishti's hand connected with his cheek.

"This is the last time you speak to me with so little respect," Mishti hissed, her chin lifting as she moved closer to him. "Don't forget who I am and most importantly don't forget who my husband is," she spat out angrily before turning around and walking regally like the queen she was towards the dining room, leaving a very disgruntled and speechless Veer Verma standing in the hallway.