Chapter Four

Ayah stormed forth in the direction of her mother's room, huffing and puffing with heavy and uneven breath. On getting to the door, she flung it open, throwing the letter in her grasp towards her mother's feet.

"Ayah you-" her mother began, bending over to pick the letter before Ayah cut her off.

"Two weeks!?" She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "What more do you want from me!?"

Her mother straightened out on her bed, her narrowed eyes watching Ayah with caution as though she was afraid she would pounce on her the next minute.

Ayah however, was too angry to care what she thought of her. Instead, her mind was in an overdrive, trying to understand why and how her own mother could be so cruel and unthoughtful towards her.

She had woken up to a knock on her door that morning. When she opened the door, there was no one behind it. There was no one in the sitting room either, but she could hear the thundering footsteps of the culprit as they rushed down the stairs. Ayah who wasn't in the mood for a game of hide and seek had locked the door to her room with a prolonged hiss and had found the letter afterwards. On opening it, she found it was an invitation letter. An invitation to her own wedding... which was two weeks away.

Her mother shrugged, sighing. "It's what the Khalil's wanted, and we don't have a reason to disagree with them."

Her eyes welled up, but she managed to blink her tears back. "Well I do have a reason," she said shrugging.

"I should, right? Since it's my wedding and all that?"

"It's been decided, and there's no going back on that."

"Do you even care about us!?" Ayah exclaimed, a few drops of tears flying out of her eyes in various directions. "Do you care about what we want? Is it not enough that you had to make it a must for us? You just had to make it fucking two weeks away!?"

"No swearing in my house, I've told you that countless times," Zainab, Ayah's mother warned, her voice low and menacing. But it didn't scare Ayah, she was too lost in her anger to care.

She scoffed in response to her mother who cleared her throat, no doubt in preparation to admonish her.

"Ayah, you need to calm down," she started, folding her hands atop her knees. "Marriage is not the end of the world, it's just a part of life. You don't need to get so worked up by it, you'll still get live your life however you want to."

"Just like you did yours, right?" She said through gritted teeth, her eyes welling up again.

Ayah was seething. Her heart felt like it could explode the next second from her fast it was beating. Her chest tightened, and she suddenly wanted to breathe. She needed air, and fast. It was only then that she realized she had forgotten to breathe. She had been so engulfed in her anger, she had held her own breathe.

She bursted out of her mother's room, taking in a breath so deep she winded up coughing, hard. She sat herself on a sofa in the living room, replaying the episode with her mother in her head whilst coughing her lungs out.

She wasn't guilty for what could be the worst thing she had ever said to her mother. But she wasn't feeling so liberated either. Had she gone too far? She couldn't tell, her inner scale had long since broken.

According to the stories her mother had told to them, she had also gotten married at an early age, and that too without knowing whom she was getting married to. And after that, her father had made her a full housewife up until recently when he opened up a supermarket and store for her, declining her of an access to the dreams she wanted to fulfill. What Ayah couldn't understand still, was how her mother who knew exactly how they were feeling could let it go on and even support it without batting an eyelid. It baffled her.

She decided to go into her eldest sister's room, part because she wanted to see for herself that the last night hadn't been a dream and also because she wanted to escape her reality no matter how short it would be for.

Ayah opened the door to Khameela's room, surprised to see Barakah sat on the bed beside Khameela, her head in her hands. Khameela looked up and nodded towards her in greeting, patting the space beside her as an invitation for her to sit. Ayah nodded and closed the door behind her, returning the room back to its dimly lit state. When she got closer to them, she heard Barakah sniff whilst shaking her head violently.

"I don't want to." She cried. The presence of the same flowery designed envelope she had just thrown to her mother in Barakah's tight grasp told her all she needed to know. A sense of relief washed over her at seeing she wasn't alone, though she felt guilty about it.

She took a seat beside Khameela, her eyes scanning the rest of the bed where Hadizah was slept in her crib, and Aayan beside it. When she turned to look at Barakah again, her hands were no longer covering her face and she was wiping at her eyes aggressively.

"You'll hurt yourself," Khameela cautioned, gripping her hand and lowering it. Afterwards she used the back of her hands to wipe at Barakah's tears, letting her head fall to her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said, stroking her hair gently. "It's the way of the life we happen to be born into. I wish I could say it gets better, but it doesn't. There's no promised bright side to look towards, we can only hope for the best."

Ayah didn't resist when Khameela stretched her hands forth to bring her head towards her shoulder too. She breathed in deeply against her sister's shoulder, closing her eyes briefly to revel in the feeling of warmth that came over her.

That however, was short lived when a knock resounded on the door to the room. Being the closest to the door, she went for it, revealing the face of a maid who's name was Sarah.

"What?" Ayah asked, prompting Sarah to look at her.

"Mummy wants you and sister Barakah to get ready and meet her by her car in ten minutes," she said, shifting uncomfortably on her legs.

Ayah's anger which was close to disappearing resurfaced. She felt her blood boil within her veins, the urge to hit something - or someone - increasing as the seconds rolled by.

Wherever it was her mother wanted to take them to, she knew it was no doubt going to be in preparation for their wedding.

"Where to?" She asked, her voice barely calm enough.

"She didn't say," Sarah replied.

Ayah jammed the door immediately, taking heavy steps back towards her sisters. She stopped in front of them both and crossed her arms over her chest, barely keeping her tears at bay. Gritting her teeth didn't seem to be working so well.

"She said to meet her by her car in ten," she said, sniffing.

Barakah's head flew off Khameela's shoulders, her bloodshot eyes staring Ayah in confusion and resentment as though she was the cause of her misery.

"Where is she taking you to?" Khameela asked.

Ayah opened her mouth to talk, instead, tears rolled down her eyes and she closed them back, choosing to shrug instead. She wiped at her tears angrily, cursing underneath her breath as she did.

Barakah shook her head hastily, her breath heavy. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Hey," Khameela cooed, shaking her shoulders. She took her head in both of her hands, barely managing to stop her from shaking it. "Don't be that way, you have to go."

"No, I don't-"

"No," Khameela interrupted, putting a finger over her lips. "You can only ever really get married once. So whether or not you like who you're getting married to, the goal should always be to enjoy it. You can think of every other thing afterwards."

"How!?" Ayah exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "You expect me to be happy while sitting beside a guy I barely know but will be spending - possibly - the entirety of the rest of my life with!? Come on Mammy, not you too."

"Okay," Khameela laughed awkwardly. "That came out wrong. But still, it's worth a shot, don't you think?"

Ayah thought about it. But the longer the did, the less sense it seemed to make to her. It was going to be the day that marked the end of her joyous days, why should she celebrate it? Why did she have to prepare towards being unhappy? Why did she have to waste her time and resources to be with a man she didn't know?

But then, she thought, it could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her. It could be the beginning of a new chapter, the best chapter of her life. What were the chances though? What if at the end she had risked it all for nothing? What if it turned out to be just what she feared the most - A life where her choices weren't hers to make?

After spending more time wallowing in thoughts and self pity, Ayah nodded slowly towards Khameela. "I'll try."

°~°~°~°~°

They were going to a spa.

Khameela's bodyguard Hashim was their driver for the day. Beside him was Khameela herself while Ayah and Barakah occupied the back seats.

Khameela had made their mother let her go with Ayah and Barakah in her place much to Ayah's delight, which led to leaving her children in her and Diana's care. Hadizah had been sleeping as usual, while Aayan had stopped crying the moment Diana had showed him a game on his tablet. Though Khameela was glad she got to leave without any hindrance from him, Ayah could tell she wasn't the most excited about it. They were her children afterall.

Ayah climbed out of the car when they pulled to a stop in front of a two storey building with glass doors, most of it postered with all sorts of floral patterns. Above it, was a sign that read 'BEAUTY WITH ZEEN'.

The building was painted a light blue color, it's edges sporting a lighter pink. The environment looked neat but deserted. There were carpet grasses leading up until the entrance and plants in pots of various sizes framing both of it's sides.

Ayah walked alongside Barakah, her face set into an unimpressed look that was almost etched permanently onto it judging by how much she has worn it in the past few days. She walked through the doors after Barakah, holding it open for Khameela who smiled in gratitude before turning to continue her journey into the building.

The hallways were deserted, except for a worker who had pointed them to the right direction after asking what they were there for when the hallway split into three parts.

Khameela checked them in at the front desk where they all got a basket filled with the items they would be needing, towels of different colours and a sweet smile from the receptionist. Ayah's heart clenched at the sight of the smile and she let out a small sigh.

Lucky you, she thought. You can smile.

She walked closely behind Barakah as they approached the room the first session was supposed to take place in.

The masseuse was good at her job, Ayah was going to give her that. Less than five minutes into the session, she was already feeling relaxed and had nearly forgotten what she had been so angry and tensed up about that morning. All of the muscles in her body, including the ones in her brain seemed to merge into one, emitting a sweet feeling that she could only wish would last forever. Just when she thought she was going to fall asleep, the session came to an end.

The rest of the day went that way, relaxation and more relaxation. The only part Ayah didn't enjoy so well was the sauna session which almost got her running out in search of fresh air. She had a manicure and pedicure session, a hair treatment session, a face treatment session and so on.

At the end of the day, all three sisters walked out with smiles planted on their faces, their cheeks almost exploding from how hot it was.

"I want to do this again." Barakah said. "It's like the only good thing that's happened to me in a very long time."

"It is. Now all that's left to complete this day is a sweet nap once I get home," Ayah replied.

"Perfect."

When they got to the car, Ayah noticed Hashim was outside, his hands on his waist while he stared down a car that was parked directly behind them. Ayah wasn't sure what was going on, but what she was sure of was that that was no way to park your car in a parking lot that clearly had empty spaces. But that was the least of her concern. Her eyes were trained on the Mercedes Benz car whose model she didn't know, but what she did know was that that car had to have cost the owner a fortune.

It was like none she had seen before. It was like a sports car, but not exactly. It looked executive, but not exactly. It was of a white and black colour. While the white dominated, the black was barely in enough places. It could as well be a white car.

"Wow," Barakah said from behind her, pulling her out of her day dream.

"What I would give to ride in one of those," Ayah sighed.

""Your hand in marriage?" Barakah scoffed, shrugging. "I'm pretty sure the Khalil's can afford it."

"Funny but true," Ayah frowned. "Perhaps I could ask for one of these as a bride price? That way I wouldn't attempt to kill him in his sleep for fear of losing this beauty."

"That's very funny," Barakah laughed.

"So we can't leave until they get back?" Khameela's voice interrupted Ayah and Barakah's discussion and they both turned to face her.

"Yes ma'am," he replied. "But I'm going to copy their plate number and take it to the receptionist inside, they should be able to do something about it. In the meantime, please sit in the car."

Ayah climbed into the backseat of the car, twisting in her chair so she was facing the rearview windshield. She could see the car perfectly from that angle. She planned to stalk the car until it's owner would arrive. She wanted to know who owned such a beautiful thing. She bet they were rich, maybe a little too rich.

Ayah was a lover of cars - even though she didn't know how to drive. And though her preferences were bigger cars, she had a soft spot for sport cars. They fascinated her.

She wondered if her to-be husband could afford to buy her such a luxury if she asked for it as a bride price. Of course he could, they were the Khalil's after all. But would he think she was worth it? Would he think she was only after his money even though that might be partially true?

She shook the thoughts out of her head at once. She wasn't supposed to think that way, she couldn't afford to allow the prospects of a luxurious life trick her into loosing her stepping, hence throwing away her dreams and hopes. She wasn't ready to get married, and that was it.

When Hashim came out through the doors of the spa, he was with a man whom Ayah believed was the owner of the car. She couldn't see his face clearly due to the distance between them, but she could see that he was on sunglasses.

He was explaining something to Hashim, his hands were moving ever so elegantly in front of him, his head bopping every few seconds. He was dressed in a light blue dress shirt, a pair of blue jeans and white trainer shoes. He looked neat, responsible and above all, rich. She couldn't take her eyes off him.

When they got close enough, Ayah could see his face. There was nothing particularly special about the way he looked, but there was nothing bad about it either. He was good looking, but not in a spectacular way. Just in a way that would make her hum whenever she walked past him, maybe turn her head as he walked past, but not with her mouth agape.

He pointed his keys to the car which made the car start beeping, and it's lights began blinking as well. She saw him clap both of his hands as though he was apologizing to Hashim who raised up his hands as if to say 'it's okay', but she couldn't hear them, her windows were winded up.

Ayah's eyes followed him all the way to his car, and, as though feeling her eyes on him right then, he turned sideways and their gazes locked. Ayah knew she wasn't doing anything bad or illegal, but she couldn't explain why her heart suddenly began to beat faster. He didn't look away and neither did she. It was like a staring competition, but an unintentional one whereby she just couldn't look away. What was it about him that made her want to keep staring? She has no idea.

It seemed like eternity had passed before she felt a tap against her lap which made her tear her eyes away from him.

"What are you looking at?" Barakah asked, looking through the rear windshield.

"N-nothing," she replied, looking at back once again in time to see his car come to life with it's headlights and pointers coming on.

"You're looking at that guy," Barakah teased. "Should you really be doing that? You're getting married in like two-"

"Leave me alone!" Ayah laughed, pushing her sister away from her. "I'm not looking at him."

"You're such a liar," Barakah scoffed.

Their car jerked to life shortly after, leading Ayah and Barakah to turn away from the retreating car. They drove out of the parking lot, and Ayah settled into her seat.

She tried not to think about the owner of the car, but every once in a while, he would pop into her mind. She imagined going on a drive in his sleek vehicle, all of the black tinted windows winded down and she would duck her head outm and hoot happily while the wind slapped her against the face.

She imagined he would laugh and tell her to stop being a child which would only provoke more laughter. She somehow found herself wishing she could see him again, and if her wish ever came true, she was definitely going to ask for a ride in his car.