(1) what college should be

The bell signals the start of the first period, and Airi could not care less as she stays in bed. She wants to go home so bad. But her dad would call tonight, and she is very bad at lying, even on the phone. She would be questioned, and when she does tell him the truth, be possibly laughed at for leaving university over something as petty as this, if not slightly perturbed. And it is true, it is petty, and stupid, and silly.

It happened a long time ago after all, it should have ended then—3 years ago, when she decided to put a stop to everything and left. Knowing her dad though, he will most likely let it slip, understanding her and what she could be feeling. Her dad is lenient with her in that sense, although it makes her guilty for some reason.

The breeze coming from the window felt nice and cool on her back as her hair blows behind her, coupled with the soft bed beneath her felt better, morning breezes are the best, she thought. For a while it made her forget what happened and who she just saw earlier. She turns her body so she could face the window and feel the gentle morning wind on her face. She felt the urge to stay in the clinic for the whole day.

When Airi was seven years old, she was a spoiled child. Cruel and a selfish brat; she goes around, displaying her princess syndrome to all her supposed subjects, so it was a given she doesn't have much friends. Save for a few people who only talk to her because she is incredibly close with Ren, or because of Zoey, or because of her brother.

Only her childhood friends, Ren and Zoey were the only people willing to put up with her outside of family. Zoey is an outgoing girl who is not afraid of showing her emotions from happiness to straight up anger, she looks scary with her sharp eyes and default frown but she's actually very mom-like. She always goes around looking after Airi and stops her in her daily misfits and often scolds her for it; Airi doesn't listen though, never does. And surprisingly, Zoey is okay with that too.

While Ren is the opposite, who goes with her no matter what it is she does, when and where. Which is why he also gets scolded by Zoey most of the time. Growing up, Airi thinks Ren has this unusual fear of her because of it. Patient and understanding. He can't help but spoil her, which is why Airi loves him so much, and prefers him to Zoey any day.

A quiet person with a kind heart, it was no wonder he was the one hurt most of all by her actions. The image of him enters her mind, shocked with disbelief. His eyes quietly repressing rage, keeping them in and hurting himself more. It reminds her how much she has put him through, and for that she will never forgive herself.

She rolls over, she wants to sleep it off for a whole day and wake up thinking about this situation calmly without panicking at the thought that she will probably see him every day from now on. She needs to calm herself down, for her heart to be still. Think and adjust.

She recalled her reaction earlier seeing Ren smiling at her, in a panic she turns and runs away, leaving Zoey alone. She rolls over to the other side of the bed again, wincing at her actions earlier, thinking she has some nerve to walk away when she is the one at fault here.

UGH! She continues to roll side by side on the infirmary bed, frustrated and every bit displeased.

And why did he even have to transfer here? There are better options for him out there! She was so sure he is going to some national university in the city, his mom even said he passed the entrance exam with flying colors, which was supposed to be hard. And they are not even poor enough to have him transfer to a second-rate university like this one. Why take the damn exam if you’re just going to this university anyway?!

She did not want to blame him but its all his fault, he ruined all her plans! She still isn't ready to face him. It is still too soon, too early. It has only been three years!

She pauses, thinks. It's probably because of her influence. The thought irks her but at the same time thought that it wouldn’t make any sense either since she probably fears of her for her life.

The doors click open and comes in a male teacher wearing a lab coat and holding on to what looks like a medical record, probably the physician, Airi suspects. His face looks too tired with his dark droopy eyes as if he slept late last night, if he even slept at all. He sees her and asks if she has any pains as he heads to his table and takes the medicine kit.

"Is it stomach pains? If so, its probably just the jitters from the new school year and all. You'll be fine if you rest a bit. But just in case it's something else, I'll give you some medicine to relieve the pain." he rummages through the kit and made a sound of frustration.

He scratches the back of his head in mild irritation, "we ran out of stomach medicines, so I recommend going to nearest drugstore instead." He takes a prescription pad and starts scribbling. His actions were quick and brief that it’s not giving Airi any time to speak.

"What's your name and class?" He glanced at her, waiting for an answer as he readies his pen, his gaze said hurry up so she told him her name and class: Airi, a first year in the Business Department. He nods in understanding and writes on the pad with incomprehensible letters, tears off the sheet and hands them to her, "Take as needed."

"I'm not feeling any stomach pains", she says finally. The teacher blinks, "openly admitting to skipping to a teacher huh, you got guts kid," he made a face that says he applauds her for being honest, that, or he is praising her for openly skipping. She wants to make a remark but can't deny it, because she really is skipping after all. She is scared to find out that she and Ren are in the same class, taking the same course, with the people he was with earlier. Although it is still a fifty-fifty chance, she just isn't ready.

The teacher, who is actually the Assistant Physician, Nathan, from the name tag clipped securely on his lab coat, looks like a pervert with his bearded chin and stressed eyes, she can not help but notice. You would expect him to actually shave since it is a new school year and all. That and he also needs a haircut, his hair is a curly mess, almost as messy as his necktie and, just, his look in general. There is just so many things about him to comment about. She stopped herself though, because to be honest, it is god-sent that she got to know a faculty staff in this university who does not care about whether the students skip or not. She feels that she wants to be on his good side.

"Still, you gotta need an excuse, right? Take this." He urges her to take the paper. She takes it without hesitation. Does not care but still helps, this guy probably saved a lot of students.

"Don't tell your prof I did the prescription though; tell him the attending physician Mrs. Taylor did it."

And probably pissed off a lot of teachers too.

She folded the note and kept it in her pocket. Although he looks the way he does, he is a comfortable person to hang around with, she notices, feeling herself relax with his company. Nathan, who is now sitting on his desk and reading newspaper, asks when she will be up and gone and she tells him, "probably lunch, more or less," which he replied is long.

"It's not that long, give me a break." She tells him, her tone more annoyed than she means to that it surprised her. The atmosphere has become comfortable enough for her to talk back to him, she makes a note to herself to practice self-control in his company.

He flips a page, not minding her sass, "Well, this room is usually packed at lunchtime so if it bothers you, you better go ahead before then."

So, students really do love him.

She says "okay, thanks" and covers herself, closes her eyes. She still has two good hours to sleep. She thinks of Zoey and how she left her behind earlier. She is probably worried for her right now; she hasn't checked her phone yet, but she felt it vibrating earlier while she was talking with Nathan, but decide not to answer it anyway.

She mutters to herself, "sorry,", low enough so Nathan doesn't hear.

How selfish of her to do, she thought.

She's doing it all over again.

…

"Airi! Where have you been?! I was looking for you!" Zoey says running towards her on the hall. Airi just texted her that she will meet her at the cafeteria for lunch, and immediately she came running. She felt a pang of guilt when she saw the look on Zoey's face, full of worry. It reminds her what a selfish person she was.

She smiles awkwardly at her and tells her she has been resting at the clinic, "I'm so sorry for worrying you," she says, bowing her head lightly in front of her. She honestly didn't mean to leave her behind like she did, she was just overwhelmed then, "I'm really sorry!"

Zoey shakes her head, telling her it is okay, and that she understands. Airi hugged her best friend and says in mock-tears she doesn't deserve her or her kindness. Zoey laughs shyly at this and tells Airi they should go, "I'm pretty hungry," she says. Airi doesn't know if she wants to change the subject or Zoey just feels embarrassed with the attention they’re getting; either way she agrees.

Airi notices Zoey's eyes squint in displeasure as they ate, his sights locked on whatever was behind her. She does not dare follow her gaze though and continues to eat instead, minding her own business. Although she does so because she knows who it was.

"Hey, Zoey!" Three people approach them holding their own tray of food, the blonde guy, supposedly leading them, asks the two girls if they could sit with them. Zoey says "yeah, sure," moving closer to the edge of the seat. She explains to Airi that the three are their classmates in first period, Airi nods in understanding and moves further to make room for them, thinks they probably aren’t bad guys since Zoey is being openly giving towards them.

"Go ahead," Airi says to them, managing a smile.

One guy glances at her, one brow extended upwards. "Is she the person you were looking for earlier?" He asks Zoey, "I'm glad you manage to find her, you were panicking a whole lot back then that you messed up your introduction." He laughs.

Airi turns to Zoey with a bothered look and mouths sorry again. Zoey manages a laugh and says its okay, whilst giving the guy she introduced as Luke a punch. Luke is thankful he already laid his lunch down before receiving the premature punch, "that hurt," he says, giving a hurt laugh.

They seem easy to get along with too, Airi notes. And if Zoey can punch one of them already, it's a good sign.

"Still though," another one pipes in, introducing himself as Neil, "missing first period on the first day, you're quite the rebel," he continues as he settles beside Zoey. Airi laughs a bit and says she just wasn't feeling well so she rested in the clinic.

"Ah, so you met Nat, then?" The only girl in the group of three, Marie, speaks. She is probably talking about the assistant, Airi thinks.

"Oh, his real name is Nathan, but we just call him Nat because you know, it's easier," she explains, grinning, "you were probably surprised at how laid back he is," she laughs.

"Do you know him?" Zoey asks.

"Yeah, he used to be a teacher-in-training in our high school." Luke says, "He seemed like that, but he's actually a pretty hardworking guy."

Airi ponders, "It doesn't seem like it though", she says, remembering what the teacher looked like and how he was dressed. Far from it even.

”That’s not true! He’s cool!” Neil says with such conviction Airi wondered if Neil was bribed by him in some way.

”Don’t worry, he wasn’t bribed by Nat. He just looked up to the guy.” Marie defends him and Airi laughs. “I was just about to ask that.” She jokes.

"Well, you're right about him being helpful. He gave me a prescription for a stomach ache even though I said I don't have it. Saved me from being absent on first period."

“Some teacher,” Zoey comments sarcastically, munching on her desert.

Airi takes the folded paper out of her front pocket and shows it to them as evidence. “See?”

“Unbelievable!” Marie says, “I can’t believe he just gave it to you without anything in return. One time he asked for an expensive cake in return for a favor I asked!” Neil agreed with a laugh. Zoey takes the paper and examines it, incredulous, "whoa, it's true. And the pass is for the whole day, not just for one subject!"

Everyone squeals in unison, catching the attention of the other students in the nearby table.

Airi couldn't help but laugh as Neil and Luke asks her how she managed to talk that Nathan into giving her this gold mine, “Airi what the hell did you do?! Nathan just doesn’t give something like this for free!”

Airi is incredulous, “whoa, seriously? I wonder what did I do?"

“Maybe he fell inlove at first sight with you.”

And Airi thought their group couldn’t get any more noisier. It was as if a bomb was dropped and the three was either laughing or crying in disbelief. “Oh my god, Luke that was a good one!”

Airi stares at the three, wonders what kind of character Nathan has for his previous students to make this much of a mockery over his love life.

“Airi I forbid you from using that.” Zoey says in that tone that tells Airi she will not take no for an answer.

"No way, if you're not even going to use it! Let us have it!" Luke says, taking the paper away from Airi.

”Dumbass the prescription clearly says it’s only for Airi.” Marie comments.

”Then from now on my name is Airi!” Luke deadpanned, his face gave no room of hesitation, like a businessman pitching a great idea. It was so ridiculous that it sets Airi in a fit of laughter, catching everyone off guard. Her laugh was so hearty that it sets everyone smiling and laughing a bit. Zoey smiles at this.

"Whatever you say, Airi" Neil snickers, staring at Luke.

"Good luck convincing everyone Airi!" Marie seconded, fighting back the urge to laugh

”Should I call you my best friend from now on too too?” Luke teases Zoey, making a cutesy face in front of her, as if trying to imitate a slightly girly version of her bestfriend. Zoey turns to ‘Airi’ with a smile so cold it sent shivers down Luke’s spine and immediately, he regrets taking the joke to a whole new level. Zoey punches him.

Marie comments how Airi’s stomach must hurt from all that laughing, all the while also laughing a bit. Soon, Luke and Neil joins in teasing Airi’s tear-stained face. Zoey stares at Airi, thinking how it’s the first time she had heard her laugh this much.

This. This is what she is aiming for. What she came to this university for.

To start over with new friends and genuinely enjoy herself like a university student should. She feels a rush of excitement come through her, thinking about how from now on she will be experiencing new things. She's excited about what will happen from here on. She breathes in.

Because more than the fear of her past, or Ren and the thought of having to confront him sooner or later...

She is finally a college student.